(no subject)
If you try to please everybody, you will end up pleasing nobody...Suddenly, not out of embaressment but just out of frustration and hurt, I thought of...just giving him up. Just, hand him over to her I thought. She thinks it is my job to keep him in class on time, make sure he does everything right, let her try and do it, she'll probably do better with it than me because I don't see it as my responsability. I'll just stand here in front of the both of them, tell him, then look at her and say, here now you can take care of him again, now you decide what is best. Kill myself, hurt him, and make her happy. But fuck, didn't someone do that same thing to me, thinking I would be better off? Be happier? And, just remembering the pain it caused me was enough...I thought I had learned my lesson, about listening and caring about what other people say, but obviously not. And about me taking care of him, ordering him around and telling him what to do? He isn't someone to be told what to do...hes not a child. If I say anything about his school marks, about him getting to class, its because I know how much he is worth and how much he can be. I want to see him be something great because I know he has it in him and I want him to be happy with what he does with his life. I don't want him to have this horrible idea that he can't make it because of what everyone else might tell him...*sigh* and I'm carrying on without thinking now...I just, want him to be happy, and to know that he can do whatever he puts his mind to because he is smart and he is great, he just has to have the confidence to try and do it...hope this brings a tear to your eye, love...