When Will We See Clearly?
It's been awhile since i've done anything on here and i'm still trying to decide if thats a good thing or not. Work is slow right now, as in really slow/possible short term layoffs kinda slow, as they have already got rid of a few and put me in their place to keep me employed, so that good i guess, showing me that they still want me around. I was cleaning up the other day and i kinda had a... i dont know what you call them, 'enlightened moment', 'saw things clearly', 'a revelation'. Call it what you will but we always pray for things, and then it dosn't happen the way we asked for it, and then we think, well thanks for not listening God, things are all screwed up now... ever think the answer was no? i dont know about you (if there is a you reading this) but thats the farthest from my mind. I love this quote;
God is a good God. We must begin here. Though we don't understand His actions, we can trust His heart. God does only what is good. -Anonymous
I dont know what it is about it, it gives me peace, I know He has the best planned out for me, to be given to me when He has prepared me for it. Read that last sentance again, how much do we have to do? nothing. Once again, its all about Him, and us waiting expectantly for Him, eyes on Him, so we don't miss what He wants to show us. These last few months have been a rather big valley for me, and i can feel myself rising up out of it. I have not been myself, and i hate the guy I've been. I want to be real again. I'm not satisfied with a nice office job working 40 hours a week every week. I know there is more for my life, and i'm still searching for what that is. Bringing me back to my first words. How long can I sit and wait. I know I'll figure this out in time, and i'm totally missing whats important here (not rely on myself, but God, for everything) What I want more than anything is a purpose for my life, something, somebody to focus my time, effort, love on and not second guess it.
I have decided that i'm done, i'm great with closing things up aren't I?