Politics and family are fun fun fun!
Edit: I got metaquotes'ed over here so I changed this to a public entry. You may all shower me with praise, money, and panties now.
My mom likes to send me right-wing rhetoric.
I like to rewrite it and send it back.
You might like to read it.
She sent:
CONVENTION AGENDA
2008 Democratic National Convention Agenda
7:00 pm Opening flag burning
7:15 pm Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N.
7:20 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:25 pm Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton
7:45 pm Ceremonial tree hugging
7:55 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:00 pm How I Invented the Internet - Al Gore
8:15 pm Gay Wedding - Barney Frank presiding
8:35 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:40 pm Our Troops are War Criminals - John Kerry
9.00 pm Memorial service for Saddam and his sons - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon
10:00 pm "Answering Machine Etiquette" - Alec Baldwin
11:00 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:05 pm Collection for the Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund - Barbra Streisand
11:15 pm Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo Bay -Sean Penn
11:30 pm Oval Office Affairs - William Jefferson Clinton
11:45 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:50 pm How George Bush Brought Down the World Trade Towers- Howard Dean
12:15 am "Truth in Broadcasting Award" - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore
12:25 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
12:30 am Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
12:45 am Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Nancy Pelosi
1:00 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
1:05 am Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton
1:30 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
1:35 am Bill Clinton asks Ted to drive Hillary home
My reply:
2008 Grand Ole Party Agenda
6:00 pm Opening goosestep
6:15 pm "Money" by the Flying Lizards, as played by the Skulls Secret Chorus
6:30 pm Taxes Are For Poor People, presented by Art Anderson LLP
7:10 pm George Bush and Dick Cheney Marrionette Theater presentation, starring Karl Rove and Ken Lay(Ed: Ken Lay will unfortunately be unavailable for this years show)
7:25 pm Moment of prayer to the One True God, followed by marshmellow roasting over the Bill of Rights and burning witches
7:45 pm Trophy Wife Money Wrestling- (10% of) proceeds go to charity
7:55 pm Abortion Is Why We Have All These Damn Illegals, by Tom DeLay
8:00 pm Vote Auctions sponsored by Diebold
8:15 pm Church and State Wedding - One nation under one God, or else, presided over by Rev Jerry Falwell
8:35 pm Fuck 'Em- A Bold New Foreign Policy, presented by GW Bush
8:40 pm Our War Criminals are Heroes - by Donald Rumsfeld
9:00 pm Memorial service for Eugenics -
10:00 pm Civil Rights Are An Affront To God, presented by Fred Phelps
11:00 pm Fuck 'Em- A Bold New Domestic Policy, presented by GW Bush
11:05 pm Gun Safety, presented by Dick Cheney
11:15 pm Pre-Screening of Gitmo Bay Gone Wild and Gitmo Bay Totally Spring Break
11:45 pm Fuck It- A Bold New Fiscal Policy, presented by GW Bush
11:50 pm Kerry- Just a Commie Babykiller, or Satan Incarnate?, debate between the Swift Boat Veterans and Rush Limbaugh
12:15 am "Objective Journalism Award" - Presented to Ann Coulter by FOX News
12:25 pm Fuck U- A Bold New Education Policy, present by GW Bush
12:30 am Trickle Down Economics Works Fine When You're On Top, and If You're Not On Top It's Your Own Damn Fault, Hippie, by Ronald Nancy Reagan
12:45 am Nomination of Jeb Bush by Tom DeLay
12:46 am Election of Jeb Bush by Diebold
1:00 am Fuck This- A Bold Closing Address, presented by GW Bush
1:05 am Pin The Blame On The Liberal
1:30 am Raghead Pinata
1:35 am All Hail The Chief, sung by drunken prostitutes and Congressmen
Well, *I* was amused.
My mom likes to send me right-wing rhetoric.
I like to rewrite it and send it back.
You might like to read it.
She sent:
CONVENTION AGENDA
2008 Democratic National Convention Agenda
7:00 pm Opening flag burning
7:15 pm Pledge of Allegiance to the U.N.
7:20 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
7:25 pm Nonreligious prayer and worship with Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton
7:45 pm Ceremonial tree hugging
7:55 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:00 pm How I Invented the Internet - Al Gore
8:15 pm Gay Wedding - Barney Frank presiding
8:35 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
8:40 pm Our Troops are War Criminals - John Kerry
9.00 pm Memorial service for Saddam and his sons - Cindy Sheehan and Susan Sarandon
10:00 pm "Answering Machine Etiquette" - Alec Baldwin
11:00 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:05 pm Collection for the Osama Bin Laden kidney transplant fund - Barbra Streisand
11:15 pm Free the Freedom Fighters from Guantanamo Bay -Sean Penn
11:30 pm Oval Office Affairs - William Jefferson Clinton
11:45 pm Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
11:50 pm How George Bush Brought Down the World Trade Towers- Howard Dean
12:15 am "Truth in Broadcasting Award" - Presented to Dan Rather by Michael Moore
12:25 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
12:30 am Satellite address by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad
12:45 am Nomination of Hillary Rodham Clinton by Nancy Pelosi
1:00 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
1:05 am Coronation of Hillary Rodham Clinton
1:30 am Ted Kennedy proposes a toast
1:35 am Bill Clinton asks Ted to drive Hillary home
My reply:
2008 Grand Ole Party Agenda
6:00 pm Opening goosestep
6:15 pm "Money" by the Flying Lizards, as played by the Skulls Secret Chorus
6:30 pm Taxes Are For Poor People, presented by Art Anderson LLP
7:10 pm George Bush and Dick Cheney Marrionette Theater presentation, starring Karl Rove and Ken Lay(Ed: Ken Lay will unfortunately be unavailable for this years show)
7:25 pm Moment of prayer to the One True God, followed by marshmellow roasting over the Bill of Rights and burning witches
7:45 pm Trophy Wife Money Wrestling- (10% of) proceeds go to charity
7:55 pm Abortion Is Why We Have All These Damn Illegals, by Tom DeLay
8:00 pm Vote Auctions sponsored by Diebold
8:15 pm Church and State Wedding - One nation under one God, or else, presided over by Rev Jerry Falwell
8:35 pm Fuck 'Em- A Bold New Foreign Policy, presented by GW Bush
8:40 pm Our War Criminals are Heroes - by Donald Rumsfeld
9:00 pm Memorial service for Eugenics -
10:00 pm Civil Rights Are An Affront To God, presented by Fred Phelps
11:00 pm Fuck 'Em- A Bold New Domestic Policy, presented by GW Bush
11:05 pm Gun Safety, presented by Dick Cheney
11:15 pm Pre-Screening of Gitmo Bay Gone Wild and Gitmo Bay Totally Spring Break
11:45 pm Fuck It- A Bold New Fiscal Policy, presented by GW Bush
11:50 pm Kerry- Just a Commie Babykiller, or Satan Incarnate?, debate between the Swift Boat Veterans and Rush Limbaugh
12:15 am "Objective Journalism Award" - Presented to Ann Coulter by FOX News
12:25 pm Fuck U- A Bold New Education Policy, present by GW Bush
12:30 am Trickle Down Economics Works Fine When You're On Top, and If You're Not On Top It's Your Own Damn Fault, Hippie, by Ronald Nancy Reagan
12:45 am Nomination of Jeb Bush by Tom DeLay
12:46 am Election of Jeb Bush by Diebold
1:00 am Fuck This- A Bold Closing Address, presented by GW Bush
1:05 am Pin The Blame On The Liberal
1:30 am Raghead Pinata
1:35 am All Hail The Chief, sung by drunken prostitutes and Congressmen
Well, *I* was amused.