Sep 06, 2004 20:36
I just hate the feeling that your best is never good enough. I feel this more than anything when it comes to school. Yea I make the grades (well now I do, not before) but, making the grades doesnt pay for school. I really wish they could give me back my scholarship, that would help me out quite a bit. I work too, but its not enough. Working only 8 hours a week doesnt pay the bills ( yes i have credit cards and lots of them, and I pay for them myself, I just dont charge it up without having paid for them first)and Ive told my work time and time again that I need more and that Im worth the hours unlike some people, but yet again I look at my schedule Im only scheduled for 10 hours. It doesnt help that Im taking 18 hours and also have a work study position. Having both takes away hours that I could be working, but I need both. One to graduate and the other to help pay for school. I just really hate how hard this school makes it to attend. I know what I want out of life, more than most people, but Im having the hardest times. I dont have the luxury of being able to pull out loans left and right like most people do, because I dont have enough credit (can you fucking believe this?) and because my mom is bankrupt and my grandpa has too much going out and not enough coming in. I think its absurd. Im not gonna drop out of school, that would be useless, no matter what I will always have to deal with the dilemma of paying off school...FUCKING UIW...