100% Pure Sam by raths_kitten
Title: 100% Pure Sam
Author: Vera
Prompt: Secrets
Pairing/Character(s): Sam POV, Gen (no Wincest)
Rating: teen
Disclaimer: Me no own.
Word Count: 796
Spoilers/Warnings: 3x11: Mystery Spot
Summary: Coda to Mystery Spot, specifically the final three months.
It started out as a necessity. Without Dean, Sam had no back-up, nobody to cover him, to get him out of tight situations. So he just had to use his powers. They were never really gone, he’d just chosen not to use them. Ever again. Because they had been the whole reason for this mess. And because he didn’t like the way Dean had looked at him. Sam could just see it in his eyes, the question if he was still human, if dad was right, if he deserved to be put down. Of course Dean would never say anything, but Sam knew. He knew the powers made him different in his eyes. Scary. So as soon as he had the chance, he pretended to be rid of them. Thankfully the visions really were gone, that made it a lot easier. But now, without Dean, things were different. It just… it didn’t matter anymore.
At first it was innocent enough. He’d moved a table to distract a demon who had him pinned to the wall. It worked. Next time, he’d moved a few chairs as well. Eventually he always packed a few extra knives and let them fly. Then he remembered Ava and tried to expand his powers. Unconsciously, he’d already grown stronger. He realized it when he decked a guy he thought had information about the trickster and the poor bastard crashed into the wall a couple feet away. He was out immediately and Sam so ashamed, he just ran away.
His first thought had been to talk to Dean, but then he remembered. Dean was gone. Anger flared up in him and the next time, he didn’t run. He just kept pounding. It was why he could take out a whole nest of vampires on his own without even breaking a sweat these days. Bobby was proud of him, but he could also hear the quiet concern in his voice, as if he suspected something. So Sam avoided him, avoided everyone. He didn’t go into bars anymore, or diners. Take-out was safer. It didn’t tempt him to flirt with a waitress and then later wonder if she went with him because she thought he was hot, or because he’d used Andy’s powers on her.
It was a fine line though and Sam could feel himself teetering on the edge, this close to snapping. It was the little things that worried him. He was never good at the credit card fraud stuff so now he just had the motel owners let him stay for free. It didn’t feel like hurting anyone, and that scared him sometimes. But he also felt that he owed it to Dean to keep fighting, to be the best damn hunter out there. To kill as many “evil sons of bitches” as he could, even if it meant turning into one himself.
But it all wouldn’t matter anymore as soon as he had Dean back. He realized that one day. If he found the trickster, he’d make it all disappear. The people he hurt along the way? It would have never have happened. The thought consoled him and let him sleep at night.
So when he finally found the trickster and did get Dean back, Sam couldn’t have been more relieved. The time had been turned back and Sam was not the same anymore. Or rather, he was. He was Sammy, almost a year ago. Normal Sam, human Sam. And he’d never use his powers again. Never ever. He owed it to Dean.
Dean had sacrificed himself to save Sam, had given up his life, his soul. Sam could never tell him what had really happened. Dean didn’t like to talk, but he’d prod. And he’d realize something was off and he’d know. He’d find out that Sam had used his powers, developed them even. That he’d use them again if Dean was… if his year was up. And it would destroy him.
To know he had not only failed to save Sam, no, that he was the one to condemn him to become what their dad had told him to stop? No. Sam could never tell him. So instead he bottled it all up, locked it deep inside of him and threw away the key. He swore to never use his powers again and he knew that he had to save Dean. Had to save Dean to save himself. Because without Dean, he was lost. Sam just knew he would succumb to the darkness inside him. He wasn’t sure why the trickster had done this to him, or if there even was a reason beyond just fucking with his mind, but Sam knew that now he would really be willing to do everything to save Dean. No matter the cost.
Author: Vera
Prompt: Secrets
Pairing/Character(s): Sam POV, Gen (no Wincest)
Rating: teen
Disclaimer: Me no own.
Word Count: 796
Spoilers/Warnings: 3x11: Mystery Spot
Summary: Coda to Mystery Spot, specifically the final three months.
It started out as a necessity. Without Dean, Sam had no back-up, nobody to cover him, to get him out of tight situations. So he just had to use his powers. They were never really gone, he’d just chosen not to use them. Ever again. Because they had been the whole reason for this mess. And because he didn’t like the way Dean had looked at him. Sam could just see it in his eyes, the question if he was still human, if dad was right, if he deserved to be put down. Of course Dean would never say anything, but Sam knew. He knew the powers made him different in his eyes. Scary. So as soon as he had the chance, he pretended to be rid of them. Thankfully the visions really were gone, that made it a lot easier. But now, without Dean, things were different. It just… it didn’t matter anymore.
At first it was innocent enough. He’d moved a table to distract a demon who had him pinned to the wall. It worked. Next time, he’d moved a few chairs as well. Eventually he always packed a few extra knives and let them fly. Then he remembered Ava and tried to expand his powers. Unconsciously, he’d already grown stronger. He realized it when he decked a guy he thought had information about the trickster and the poor bastard crashed into the wall a couple feet away. He was out immediately and Sam so ashamed, he just ran away.
His first thought had been to talk to Dean, but then he remembered. Dean was gone. Anger flared up in him and the next time, he didn’t run. He just kept pounding. It was why he could take out a whole nest of vampires on his own without even breaking a sweat these days. Bobby was proud of him, but he could also hear the quiet concern in his voice, as if he suspected something. So Sam avoided him, avoided everyone. He didn’t go into bars anymore, or diners. Take-out was safer. It didn’t tempt him to flirt with a waitress and then later wonder if she went with him because she thought he was hot, or because he’d used Andy’s powers on her.
It was a fine line though and Sam could feel himself teetering on the edge, this close to snapping. It was the little things that worried him. He was never good at the credit card fraud stuff so now he just had the motel owners let him stay for free. It didn’t feel like hurting anyone, and that scared him sometimes. But he also felt that he owed it to Dean to keep fighting, to be the best damn hunter out there. To kill as many “evil sons of bitches” as he could, even if it meant turning into one himself.
But it all wouldn’t matter anymore as soon as he had Dean back. He realized that one day. If he found the trickster, he’d make it all disappear. The people he hurt along the way? It would have never have happened. The thought consoled him and let him sleep at night.
So when he finally found the trickster and did get Dean back, Sam couldn’t have been more relieved. The time had been turned back and Sam was not the same anymore. Or rather, he was. He was Sammy, almost a year ago. Normal Sam, human Sam. And he’d never use his powers again. Never ever. He owed it to Dean.
Dean had sacrificed himself to save Sam, had given up his life, his soul. Sam could never tell him what had really happened. Dean didn’t like to talk, but he’d prod. And he’d realize something was off and he’d know. He’d find out that Sam had used his powers, developed them even. That he’d use them again if Dean was… if his year was up. And it would destroy him.
To know he had not only failed to save Sam, no, that he was the one to condemn him to become what their dad had told him to stop? No. Sam could never tell him. So instead he bottled it all up, locked it deep inside of him and threw away the key. He swore to never use his powers again and he knew that he had to save Dean. Had to save Dean to save himself. Because without Dean, he was lost. Sam just knew he would succumb to the darkness inside him. He wasn’t sure why the trickster had done this to him, or if there even was a reason beyond just fucking with his mind, but Sam knew that now he would really be willing to do everything to save Dean. No matter the cost.