One thing about living in Santa Carla I never could stomach...
As the lateness of this fine Wednesday night begins to saturate my drive, lo and behold, there comes a blog to aid me in the procrastination from my duties as a writer. So let me weave the tale of my past weekend and things to come to amuse myself, and hopefully you as well.
These last couple of weeks have been interesting to say the least. No promises, but I may actually have some sort of career in the near future. More on that as it develops, I don't want to jinx it.
That and I got a couple of part time jobs. One helping a friend of a friend of the family fix up his fixer upper house (I believe that is the technical term). All i have done so far is sand the railings on his staircase. And for those of you who have not made repeated rubbing motions on somebody else's wood furnishings for hours on end... well, let's just say there is something wrong about it. And yet so right and natural. I can't put my finger on why...
The other job is working as a, ahem, "Substitute Para educator." That's my title. Seriously, look it up. It's a lot funnier to hear the official definition and imagine me doing it.
On non-work related fronts, this last weekend was a success. Pretty much in every way it could be. How does one "win" at a weekend, you may ask? Well, let me rack up the awesomeness for you:
1) Josh and Heather came to visit.
2) Yuan had a birfday.
3) Jesus had a deathday. But then he got better. Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and this guy actually died, and then got over it. When I die and go to hell, I want to have that ability to bitch slap Cerberus and claw my way back up like Jesus did. Not in a zombie way though. Or a vampire way. Although... seriously, who doesn't want to be a vampire? Go around all soulless, killin' people for funsies. Or make out with other vampires to the point of living in an erotic goth world. Or sparkle. Actually... never mind. I don't want to be a vampire anymore. Something just killed my horny for the undead. Can't imagine what that must be. Maybe Jesus was a vampire, and that's how he came back. Maybe he sparkled too. So then all the ignorant prepubescent fangirls and depressed soccer moms saw him as a god among men, perfect in every way, so much so they made a movie about wanting to get rocked by a sexy Jesus. That's it. Jesus is Edward Cullen. That's why Edward is portrayed as the "perfect man," (if you're a man at all?) cuz he is Jesus. That would also explain why he never wants to bone with whats her face, Sarah pale-and-plain (the whole celibacy savior thing) and why really gullible people think he is Gods gift. So, when you get right down to it, is there any difference between Twilight fans Christian Fundamentalists? And before you answer, remember: you can't spell fundamental without mental.
Um... what was I talking about?
Anyway, the weekend was fun. We all convened on Friday and went out to dinner at Red Robin (BOTTOMLESS FRIES!!) and went to karaoke. James got hit on by three cougars, including a tiny angry asian woman who would not stop talking about how tall (or as she put it, BIG) James was. It's really hard to estimate just HOW uncomfortable James was, but I'm gonna say that on the Richter scale of awkwardness, he was a 48.6. Then Josh filmed me doing "Ballroom Blitz" on his phone. I'm waiting for that fresh pile of embarrassment to show up on his youtube account at my expense.
Then Saturday came, a day of shopping and brainstorming and partying. We all went to shop for Yuan's gifts, which was fun. I had to clash with Amelia, the vampire overlord/day manager of Hot Topic to purchase the last South Park t-shirt, which ironically, was from the vampire episode that made fun of dumb vampire kids. The battle was epic, but in the end I was victorious over the bloodsucker, and staked him with my debit card. Per se.
As for the party itself, it was fun. 9 people crammed into a tiny apartment drinking and playing ten fingers: always a good decision. Learned some stuff that was a little disturbing, and some other stuff that was HIGHLY entertaining. And given that we started at 7 p.m., and sun beams hit warmed our respective beds before our bodies did, I would say it was quite the shindig. Or maybe it was a hootenanny...
Sunday, bloody Sunday, was filled with Easter visits, including one from an old friend and "Hungry Like the Wolf" dance partner, Sophie. After filling her in on the awesomeness that is the Lonely Islands, we had some amazing music sessions, wherein we all got re obsessed with Jace Everett's "Bad Things" from the show "Tru Blood", which, if you have not heard it, is like musical win injected with an orgasm. Which made it even more awkward when I left Heather, Yuan, and Sophie to sleep in the same bed together. I wonder what came of that...
So I had fun. And the best part? I got a weekend ten days from now that shall be exponentially awesomer than this one.
And now I must be off into the night, for more vampire related adventures.
*morphs into a bat and flies away*
These last couple of weeks have been interesting to say the least. No promises, but I may actually have some sort of career in the near future. More on that as it develops, I don't want to jinx it.
That and I got a couple of part time jobs. One helping a friend of a friend of the family fix up his fixer upper house (I believe that is the technical term). All i have done so far is sand the railings on his staircase. And for those of you who have not made repeated rubbing motions on somebody else's wood furnishings for hours on end... well, let's just say there is something wrong about it. And yet so right and natural. I can't put my finger on why...
The other job is working as a, ahem, "Substitute Para educator." That's my title. Seriously, look it up. It's a lot funnier to hear the official definition and imagine me doing it.
On non-work related fronts, this last weekend was a success. Pretty much in every way it could be. How does one "win" at a weekend, you may ask? Well, let me rack up the awesomeness for you:
1) Josh and Heather came to visit.
2) Yuan had a birfday.
3) Jesus had a deathday. But then he got better. Whatever doesn't kill you makes you stronger, and this guy actually died, and then got over it. When I die and go to hell, I want to have that ability to bitch slap Cerberus and claw my way back up like Jesus did. Not in a zombie way though. Or a vampire way. Although... seriously, who doesn't want to be a vampire? Go around all soulless, killin' people for funsies. Or make out with other vampires to the point of living in an erotic goth world. Or sparkle. Actually... never mind. I don't want to be a vampire anymore. Something just killed my horny for the undead. Can't imagine what that must be. Maybe Jesus was a vampire, and that's how he came back. Maybe he sparkled too. So then all the ignorant prepubescent fangirls and depressed soccer moms saw him as a god among men, perfect in every way, so much so they made a movie about wanting to get rocked by a sexy Jesus. That's it. Jesus is Edward Cullen. That's why Edward is portrayed as the "perfect man," (if you're a man at all?) cuz he is Jesus. That would also explain why he never wants to bone with whats her face, Sarah pale-and-plain (the whole celibacy savior thing) and why really gullible people think he is Gods gift. So, when you get right down to it, is there any difference between Twilight fans Christian Fundamentalists? And before you answer, remember: you can't spell fundamental without mental.
Um... what was I talking about?
Anyway, the weekend was fun. We all convened on Friday and went out to dinner at Red Robin (BOTTOMLESS FRIES!!) and went to karaoke. James got hit on by three cougars, including a tiny angry asian woman who would not stop talking about how tall (or as she put it, BIG) James was. It's really hard to estimate just HOW uncomfortable James was, but I'm gonna say that on the Richter scale of awkwardness, he was a 48.6. Then Josh filmed me doing "Ballroom Blitz" on his phone. I'm waiting for that fresh pile of embarrassment to show up on his youtube account at my expense.
Then Saturday came, a day of shopping and brainstorming and partying. We all went to shop for Yuan's gifts, which was fun. I had to clash with Amelia, the vampire overlord/day manager of Hot Topic to purchase the last South Park t-shirt, which ironically, was from the vampire episode that made fun of dumb vampire kids. The battle was epic, but in the end I was victorious over the bloodsucker, and staked him with my debit card. Per se.
As for the party itself, it was fun. 9 people crammed into a tiny apartment drinking and playing ten fingers: always a good decision. Learned some stuff that was a little disturbing, and some other stuff that was HIGHLY entertaining. And given that we started at 7 p.m., and sun beams hit warmed our respective beds before our bodies did, I would say it was quite the shindig. Or maybe it was a hootenanny...
Sunday, bloody Sunday, was filled with Easter visits, including one from an old friend and "Hungry Like the Wolf" dance partner, Sophie. After filling her in on the awesomeness that is the Lonely Islands, we had some amazing music sessions, wherein we all got re obsessed with Jace Everett's "Bad Things" from the show "Tru Blood", which, if you have not heard it, is like musical win injected with an orgasm. Which made it even more awkward when I left Heather, Yuan, and Sophie to sleep in the same bed together. I wonder what came of that...
So I had fun. And the best part? I got a weekend ten days from now that shall be exponentially awesomer than this one.
And now I must be off into the night, for more vampire related adventures.
*morphs into a bat and flies away*