They accept the black sheep....or not
I am different from the rest of my family.
I'm the black sheep.
I'm the liberal vegetarian who believes in reincarnation and spirit guides.
In a family of unspiritual reform Jews who eat more than their share of meat. Okay, I exaggerate my uniqueness. My sister is spiritual too.
But besides that.....
I turn off lights to help stop global warming.
My family has lights on while the shades are open and the room is already bright. The lights make absolutely no difference in the brightness of the room. Yet they insist we keep them on.
I find it a struggle to accept my family's morality. Their attitude seems to be "We're rich! Let's enjoy it. Once in awhile we'll give a shit about other people. But for the most part, let's forget them and go SHOPPING!!!!!"
I have fun with these people. I enjoy their company. But I have to get off my high horse to do so. I have to try to forget what they believe--and that's hard to do so because they do NOT like to keep their opinions to themselves.
The one thing I have always given them credit for though is their acceptance of my beliefs. I'm teased a little. Okay, a lot. But tolerated. Loved. I'm their poster child of weirdness. There's a strong message coming from them. You're a freak. But we'll allow you to be that way.
That's one of the reasons I accept them. Well, because they accept me. I don't want to be the bad guy. I don't want to be the intolerant liberal vegetarian. I want to be like Jesus. Loving everybody--even if they smell awful.
But this weekend I started to question their tolerance. I noticed something. They don't criticize me. What they do is criticize people LIKE me.
I mention I like a certain political candidate. Immediately, the person I speak to makes a nasty face. "He's weird. He's creepy."
This is a guy who has very similar beliefs to mine and now I'm being told that he's weird and creepy. I tried to get info on why he's weird and they would not give me an answer. Well, nothing beyond...."Just the way he looks. He's creepy." So now we're basing our voting preferences on looks.
Last week I was reading a book about Shirley McLaine. I'm told she's really weird. I say she sounds very normal to me. Well, probably because beliefs in reincarnation are normal to me. But announce to the world that you belief in such things and people automatically label you as "weird".
I mention that I loved the episode of Medium I just watched. Brilliant episode. I get "You watch that show?????" in the same tone I might say "You eat veal?????"
I say yes I like that show.
They say they don't watch it. That girl's too weird.
She's too weird. Why? She's psychic.
The same person last night had expressed shock when the conversation came around to believing in an afterlife. He was shocked that I believed in it.
I really don't get it.
Okay, I've been manipulative before. I've been mad at people, unable to tell them, so I talk to them about other people I'm mad at for the same reason. Hoping they'll get the clue and say "I'm like that too. Does that mean she's also mad at me."
But I don't think they're doing this.
I don't know.
Do they forget who I am?
Or do they just not know? Am I not as open as I think I am? Do they think I'm a weirdo hippy, but not THAT weird?
Oh, another example. They started talking about the Phoenix family. And there was a lot of "They had a really WEIRD family."
I don't know much about them--just that they were vegetarians. And Jaquin is a pretty vocal vegan.
I asked why they were weird. No straight answer. Just that look of distaste and a general. "They're hippies."
I decided to look them up on google--see if there weirdness extended beyong being mere hippies.
And it did. They qualified for weirdness in Dina's book. And to get in that you have to be PRETTY weird.
The Phoenix family was involved with some cult--one that involved children having sex.
But they had eventually left the cult.
It made me think. If they were a mainstream family who happened to be Catholic--very involved with the Church. And as preschoolers their children had been molested by a priest (or let's say Jews molested by a Rabbi) would they have been considered weird?
By my family, I doubt it.
You know what?
I know my family considers me weird.
And I have no problem with them thinking people like Alison Dubois and Shirley McLaine are weird.
The problem is the distasteful look that appears on my family's face as they talk about these people.
It makes me understand something.
If I did not have their genes and blood running through my veins, they'd look at me with distaste as well.
I'm the black sheep.
I'm the liberal vegetarian who believes in reincarnation and spirit guides.
In a family of unspiritual reform Jews who eat more than their share of meat. Okay, I exaggerate my uniqueness. My sister is spiritual too.
But besides that.....
I turn off lights to help stop global warming.
My family has lights on while the shades are open and the room is already bright. The lights make absolutely no difference in the brightness of the room. Yet they insist we keep them on.
I find it a struggle to accept my family's morality. Their attitude seems to be "We're rich! Let's enjoy it. Once in awhile we'll give a shit about other people. But for the most part, let's forget them and go SHOPPING!!!!!"
I have fun with these people. I enjoy their company. But I have to get off my high horse to do so. I have to try to forget what they believe--and that's hard to do so because they do NOT like to keep their opinions to themselves.
The one thing I have always given them credit for though is their acceptance of my beliefs. I'm teased a little. Okay, a lot. But tolerated. Loved. I'm their poster child of weirdness. There's a strong message coming from them. You're a freak. But we'll allow you to be that way.
That's one of the reasons I accept them. Well, because they accept me. I don't want to be the bad guy. I don't want to be the intolerant liberal vegetarian. I want to be like Jesus. Loving everybody--even if they smell awful.
But this weekend I started to question their tolerance. I noticed something. They don't criticize me. What they do is criticize people LIKE me.
I mention I like a certain political candidate. Immediately, the person I speak to makes a nasty face. "He's weird. He's creepy."
This is a guy who has very similar beliefs to mine and now I'm being told that he's weird and creepy. I tried to get info on why he's weird and they would not give me an answer. Well, nothing beyond...."Just the way he looks. He's creepy." So now we're basing our voting preferences on looks.
Last week I was reading a book about Shirley McLaine. I'm told she's really weird. I say she sounds very normal to me. Well, probably because beliefs in reincarnation are normal to me. But announce to the world that you belief in such things and people automatically label you as "weird".
I mention that I loved the episode of Medium I just watched. Brilliant episode. I get "You watch that show?????" in the same tone I might say "You eat veal?????"
I say yes I like that show.
They say they don't watch it. That girl's too weird.
She's too weird. Why? She's psychic.
The same person last night had expressed shock when the conversation came around to believing in an afterlife. He was shocked that I believed in it.
I really don't get it.
Okay, I've been manipulative before. I've been mad at people, unable to tell them, so I talk to them about other people I'm mad at for the same reason. Hoping they'll get the clue and say "I'm like that too. Does that mean she's also mad at me."
But I don't think they're doing this.
I don't know.
Do they forget who I am?
Or do they just not know? Am I not as open as I think I am? Do they think I'm a weirdo hippy, but not THAT weird?
Oh, another example. They started talking about the Phoenix family. And there was a lot of "They had a really WEIRD family."
I don't know much about them--just that they were vegetarians. And Jaquin is a pretty vocal vegan.
I asked why they were weird. No straight answer. Just that look of distaste and a general. "They're hippies."
I decided to look them up on google--see if there weirdness extended beyong being mere hippies.
And it did. They qualified for weirdness in Dina's book. And to get in that you have to be PRETTY weird.
The Phoenix family was involved with some cult--one that involved children having sex.
But they had eventually left the cult.
It made me think. If they were a mainstream family who happened to be Catholic--very involved with the Church. And as preschoolers their children had been molested by a priest (or let's say Jews molested by a Rabbi) would they have been considered weird?
By my family, I doubt it.
You know what?
I know my family considers me weird.
And I have no problem with them thinking people like Alison Dubois and Shirley McLaine are weird.
The problem is the distasteful look that appears on my family's face as they talk about these people.
It makes me understand something.
If I did not have their genes and blood running through my veins, they'd look at me with distaste as well.