He's Dead
Title: He's dead
Author: thedreamer_geo
Characters: Ianto
Rating: G/PG
Summary: Jack is dead, and everyone is mourning. Ianto's POV of how he is handling it.
Spoilers: Most of series 1
Beta: None
Authors Notes: There is a second part being posted in a minute after called: He's alive.
Sleep? What is it? I mean the only reason I don’t sleep is ‘cause of the nightmares. Nightmares that this job. This life brings me. First Lisa. God that scared the shit outta me. Then the fairies and that poor, poor girl. She shouldn’t have gone. Shouldn’t have let her. Cannibals were almost the worst. I tried not to show the fear, but right at the end my protective layer crumbled. Tosh and that Mary. I’d have sacrificed myself for her. I mean it. She notices me. Suzie was always a scary sonuvabitch. But coming back to life like that? Jeesus. Gwen dying scared the shit outta him. Outta the rest of them. You could tell over the intercom, their voices all shaken up. Then the weevils getting found out about. All those deaths? People really do have something wrong with them if they throw their lives away like that. Owen was a fool. I know that, but he didn’t want to live like that no more. Live without Diane I mean. We bonded that week he was in hospital. Weird really what almost dying does to you. Then Tosh and Jack disappearing through the rift. I knew it wasn’t right. I knew it. Would anyone listen to me? No. But nonetheless I was right. Owen deserved that shot. I mean it. Abaddon is definitely the worst. Killing Jack, and all those people. The visions were the worst. I mean seriously. Jack laying there on that ice cold metal bed. He himself was ice cold as well. He still is. Gwen’s down there with him. Wouldn’t let me nowhere near him. Said they had a connection, was she the one fucking him? Don’t think so. But that’s what I meant. We all had someone to share our beds with. At one point in these traumatising events. I didn’t. Only for a few. I mean Gwen had Rhys. Or Owen. Owen had whatever girl he picked up off of the street. Or Gwen. Toshiko had a nice boyfriend for a bit. I was the only one who knew that. Then she had Mary, but that went balls up. She did find someone again. If she hadn’t had, she always had my teddy I brought her for her birthday. Jack I suppose was on his own. We had a little thing for a bit. It was fun. For him, however it meant something to me. We’d cuddle up and forget that we were underneath his office. Forget we worked in the extra-terrestrial business. I’d forget the knobs, twats and nightmares that were out there. Then I’d fall asleep in his arms. The only times I had slept in this job. I knew he hardly slept. He was like me. Now he’s dead, and I have no-one. Again. He’s not coming back this time.