Don't Stress Out

Jun 19, 2014 21:01

Upon diagnosis with gestational diabetes

What is important to understand
is that this
is not like regular diabetes
You will need to keep up
a strict regimen of nutrition
this is not no-carb
this is not low-carb
we want your blood sugar
to be consistent
not peaking and falling
like a roller coaster.
To that end, you must have three meals
and three snacks
with carbohydrates and protein
in each one. This is mandatory.
One serving of starch-based carbs
is fifteen grams on the total carbohydrates line
Please read your labels carefully.
You will have a maximum carbohydrate
and a minimum protein allowance
per meal or snack.

Let's start with breakfast.
Absolutely no cold cereal with milk.
And no milk or yogurt in the morning.
Fruit? No. Your hormones
are highest in the morning.
You may have
up to thirty grams of carbs,
so that is a slice or maybe two
(check your labels!)
of whole-grain bread.
A couple of eggs for protein and you're set.
Or perhaps a cup of oatmeal
and two slices of bacon.
Yes, bacon is allowed,
but no juice. No juice all day.
And while we are on the subject,
no soda. You may
have coffee
but only if you don't
add milk
or sugar
or anything.

Do not forget
your mid-morning snack.
Perhaps half a slice of bread
and some nuts. And you are allowed
as many non-starchy vegetables as you wish
so perhaps some carrots.

Lunch is when you may have
a serving of fruit
a small apple
or a peach
or seventeen small grapes.
And, of course,
your carbs and protein,
with every meal.
You may also have
a small glass of milk
or fifteen grams of carbs
in yogurt form. However,
cheese does not count as milk
but as protein.

And on the subject of protein,
various meats are good,
but be careful with fish
no shark
or swordfish
or mackerel
or any of the large fish
that might have too much mercury.
Not too much tuna, either.
With carbs, you should also avoid
rice in all forms
and noodles,
though small amounts of whole-grain pasta
may occur. Your children like
mac & cheese? Well,
that will just be for them now.

I think you are getting the idea
but let us suppose
that (it being summer)
you are going to a barbecue.
Hot dogs are problematic
unless you know they are 100% meat.
And the buns are very high in carbs.
Hamburgers are good
but skip the bun
and find something whole-grain instead.
You may certainly have chicken
or beef
or pork
but stay away from the barbecue sauce.
Please avoid
the potato salad
the macaroni salad
and if you go for the bean dip,
remember that beans
are carbs and protein both. So no chips.
You may as well skip the desserts, too.

And if you have a baby shower,
you may serve
cake
and cookies
and doughnuts
and pastries
and pie
but, I'm sorry to say,
you are not allowed to eat any of them.

You can have some whipped cream, though.
That counts as a fat.

Please measure your blood sugar
the first thing in the morning
(but no more than ten hours
after your evening snack)
and then one hour after the first bite
of every main meal.
You'll need to track these levels
so that we can tell
if diet will fix this
or if you need insulin.
We know this is hard to follow
but please try
it is not your fault
but the consequences include
excessive baby size
baby hypoglycemia
birth difficulties and
stillbirth.

95% of people
who follow this diet
are successful.
Good luck.

dry humor, pregnancy, gestational diabetes

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