We do have good days...
I think my rant about Dr. Sears was a tad bit unfair to the general perception of our days...I'm not sorry I ranted. He is way too preachy and because of my own predisposition towards perfectionism, it was so easy to buy into his "gently" packaged approach. I'm a little more balanced now!
I keep meaning to write Ciaran's five-month entry but we were struck down (that is, Graham and I were struck down) by the stomach flu of doom last week. I had it Thursday night and was violently ill most of the night, then wiped out until yesterday afternoon-ish. Graham got it night before last. Ciaran was a little feverish and has been extra fussy but hasn't otherwise seemed to suffer, aside from foul diapers, so I have to assume those handy little breastfeeding antibodies did their work.
Ciaran at five months is a different creature from Ciaran at one month, thank heavens! I know that sounds self-evident but frankly, it's a good thing that babies do develop so quickly because otherwise I think a lot more of us would commit infanticide. On the whole he is a lovely little boy who smiles a lot, laughs a little, talks on his own terms, and is as determined as can be to be on the move at all times. He gives me lots of happy Mummy moments and most of the time I love to be with him.
He rolls with ease and can maneuver himself easily in circles and sometimes forwards and backwards to get at toys. His door bouncer is used with great glee when we resort to putting him in it: we put him in it less frequently than he'd like because we try to keep it as novel as possible so that it's always an option in desperate need! When he's being held he isn't particularly cuddly unless he's just woken up. He would rather be standing holding our hands or having us jump him up and down. His friend G., who's a week older than he is, enjoys standing and looking around but Ciaran bounces up and down, bending his knees ever more emphatically if we don't do what he wants and help him leap!
Diaper changes are...interesting. His Highness has, it appears, discovered that he's a boy and that boy parts are a good toy!!! It's been an interesting couple of weeks catching his hands before he can get them into his diaper, especially if said diaper is dirty rather than just wet, but we have hopes that he's currently discovering the joy of FEET!! and is being distracted, if only because diaper changes are hard when there's a hand scrabbling around in our way!
Ciaran's definitely not the most vocal child, perhaps influenced by the fact that his favorite time to coo and babble is if he decides that four AM is the time to be up and about, so Mummy and Daddy are not necessarily at all inclined to encourage him to talk at that time. His most passionate expressions are saved for protests against the dread of Going To Sleep. They range from babbles to whimpers, funny grumbling sounds (mmmmmBAgamMAAAA!) that obviously are telling us in no uncertain terms what he thinks of the situations, and then the final resort, the ear-splitting howl.
Those howls are more in evidence the last few days, perhaps because he's more alert than ever or perhaps because of the disruption to our normal routine thanks to parental illness. When he fights sleep it is incredibly hard to stay patient with him but frankly, his grumbly cries are a lot easier to cope with than the howls and I hope he gives up on them again soon.
Being Ciaran's Mum is mostly fun. I think he may follow in his parents' footsteps and be a bit of an introvert; he plays beautifully on his own, is not particularly cuddly (we knew he wasn't feeling his best this weekend when he let me snuggle him without wriggling), and has a tendency to be on the shy side with strangers. He loves "reading" books, when we keep them relatively short and colorful - he especially likes to tug at the pages and occasionally taste test the paper!
The hard part comes, as ever, when sleep is involved and I think those problems are all entirely linked to his alertness and interest in the world around him. It seems to me that he wants to interact with the world so much that he fights anything getting in his way. More days are good sleep days than before but it is still hard to get him to nap and he is still up every two hours all night long to nurse. Napping, obviously, is a break in his play and that he doesn't like. Nursing during the day is similar, perhaps, so I wonder if the night nursing isn't his way of getting his caloric needs taken care of, especially since he will go 4-5 hours between daytime feeds when he's feeling well.
I think that night nursing habit will be permitted, so to speak, until he's a few weeks into solids and I go back to work. Then, once I know he's getting more food during the day, I'm going to have to cut out some of the nighttime feeds, even though I anticipate much screaming in response. I'm just too tired during the day when my sleep is interrupted so frequently all night long.
So yes, more days are good than bad but coping with a high-needs boy who's incredibly alert to the world around him but also incredibly sensitive to and sometimes easily overwhelmed by that world is a challenge. It seems as if the tough times also tend to cluster, meaning that I'll go four or five days without feeling particularly stressed and then be driven to breaking point within a day and a half.
I love my kid and I'm coming to terms with the fact that I will never be a perfect parent or even a particularly relaxed one who just takes things in stride, just as I don't think he's going to be a relaxed, laid-back baby.
But he's the cutest baby ever, so that sometimes makes up for it all!
I keep meaning to write Ciaran's five-month entry but we were struck down (that is, Graham and I were struck down) by the stomach flu of doom last week. I had it Thursday night and was violently ill most of the night, then wiped out until yesterday afternoon-ish. Graham got it night before last. Ciaran was a little feverish and has been extra fussy but hasn't otherwise seemed to suffer, aside from foul diapers, so I have to assume those handy little breastfeeding antibodies did their work.
Ciaran at five months is a different creature from Ciaran at one month, thank heavens! I know that sounds self-evident but frankly, it's a good thing that babies do develop so quickly because otherwise I think a lot more of us would commit infanticide. On the whole he is a lovely little boy who smiles a lot, laughs a little, talks on his own terms, and is as determined as can be to be on the move at all times. He gives me lots of happy Mummy moments and most of the time I love to be with him.
He rolls with ease and can maneuver himself easily in circles and sometimes forwards and backwards to get at toys. His door bouncer is used with great glee when we resort to putting him in it: we put him in it less frequently than he'd like because we try to keep it as novel as possible so that it's always an option in desperate need! When he's being held he isn't particularly cuddly unless he's just woken up. He would rather be standing holding our hands or having us jump him up and down. His friend G., who's a week older than he is, enjoys standing and looking around but Ciaran bounces up and down, bending his knees ever more emphatically if we don't do what he wants and help him leap!
Diaper changes are...interesting. His Highness has, it appears, discovered that he's a boy and that boy parts are a good toy!!! It's been an interesting couple of weeks catching his hands before he can get them into his diaper, especially if said diaper is dirty rather than just wet, but we have hopes that he's currently discovering the joy of FEET!! and is being distracted, if only because diaper changes are hard when there's a hand scrabbling around in our way!
Ciaran's definitely not the most vocal child, perhaps influenced by the fact that his favorite time to coo and babble is if he decides that four AM is the time to be up and about, so Mummy and Daddy are not necessarily at all inclined to encourage him to talk at that time. His most passionate expressions are saved for protests against the dread of Going To Sleep. They range from babbles to whimpers, funny grumbling sounds (mmmmmBAgamMAAAA!) that obviously are telling us in no uncertain terms what he thinks of the situations, and then the final resort, the ear-splitting howl.
Those howls are more in evidence the last few days, perhaps because he's more alert than ever or perhaps because of the disruption to our normal routine thanks to parental illness. When he fights sleep it is incredibly hard to stay patient with him but frankly, his grumbly cries are a lot easier to cope with than the howls and I hope he gives up on them again soon.
Being Ciaran's Mum is mostly fun. I think he may follow in his parents' footsteps and be a bit of an introvert; he plays beautifully on his own, is not particularly cuddly (we knew he wasn't feeling his best this weekend when he let me snuggle him without wriggling), and has a tendency to be on the shy side with strangers. He loves "reading" books, when we keep them relatively short and colorful - he especially likes to tug at the pages and occasionally taste test the paper!
The hard part comes, as ever, when sleep is involved and I think those problems are all entirely linked to his alertness and interest in the world around him. It seems to me that he wants to interact with the world so much that he fights anything getting in his way. More days are good sleep days than before but it is still hard to get him to nap and he is still up every two hours all night long to nurse. Napping, obviously, is a break in his play and that he doesn't like. Nursing during the day is similar, perhaps, so I wonder if the night nursing isn't his way of getting his caloric needs taken care of, especially since he will go 4-5 hours between daytime feeds when he's feeling well.
I think that night nursing habit will be permitted, so to speak, until he's a few weeks into solids and I go back to work. Then, once I know he's getting more food during the day, I'm going to have to cut out some of the nighttime feeds, even though I anticipate much screaming in response. I'm just too tired during the day when my sleep is interrupted so frequently all night long.
So yes, more days are good than bad but coping with a high-needs boy who's incredibly alert to the world around him but also incredibly sensitive to and sometimes easily overwhelmed by that world is a challenge. It seems as if the tough times also tend to cluster, meaning that I'll go four or five days without feeling particularly stressed and then be driven to breaking point within a day and a half.
I love my kid and I'm coming to terms with the fact that I will never be a perfect parent or even a particularly relaxed one who just takes things in stride, just as I don't think he's going to be a relaxed, laid-back baby.
But he's the cutest baby ever, so that sometimes makes up for it all!