blah.
i duno how to get rid of this stupid fixation i have with my appearance. i want to honestly feel good about myself. it doesn't make me sad or anything it's just a natural way of thinking that i wish i didn't have. i wish mirrors were never invented. i feel really alone and out of place here but i play it off well. i don't know what i need but i feel empty. i need to be loved. i really want that really bad. i imagine constantly of how it would be. imagining it helps me not be so depressed about it but it's always always in my head about how maybe today will be the day someone will interest me. everything that was good before i moved here seems like a dream i had but i didnt realize it wasnt real and i was just talking and walking in my sleep. im fucking hurting all the time over something that doesn't exist anymore. i wish i didn't know what it felt like to be happy so then i wouldn't have to want it again.
im really homesick....
in other news besides the generic complaints of mine....
we got evicted from the apt. so things are a little scary right now regarding finding new housing within the next 3 weeks.
^means i probably will not be coming home for my birthday.
art school is a joke
im really homesick....
in other news besides the generic complaints of mine....
we got evicted from the apt. so things are a little scary right now regarding finding new housing within the next 3 weeks.
^means i probably will not be coming home for my birthday.
art school is a joke