A tricky area.
How does one write about a certain person in their Live Journal when the person they're writing about may quite possibly read that Live journal? It's weird. I mean, she might since we're "mutual friends" on here and all. (Ooooooh!) And I guess I don't want her to see what I might put, because it would be kinda weird. Suffice to say that I am happy about finally being able to hang out with her. I really enjoyed it...it felt so natural. It felt like we really do have a lot in common and could easily get along very well. I hope I'm able to hang out with her more often...
I should have known this online journal thing was a bad idea. Haha. I would kill for a SWEET girly journal that locks and I could keep it under my pillow and no one else would be able to read it...haha. Oh well, who am I kidding. I probably really want the attention. It's a good question you know...how many of us lj'ers love to get the attention by putting our personal stories online? We might be like, "Well, it's personal, but it IS online, so I understand if someone reads it," but in reality, is everyone like, "Aaah, this is such a nice way to tell everyone what is on my mind without it being weird or difficult." Haha. And then you censor yourself...or I find that I do anyway...
I hope I don't fall apart with school. Again. That would be all I need. It already feels like it's happening. I wish I could pull it together, just for once. At least things are actually looking up for a change. And this time I think it will be different. I can really feel like I might be able to look back on today's entry in fond memory of the time when things started to look up. And I definitely know what I'm talking about. Which is interesting, since I told my therapist this morning how much I feel like I'm not going anywhere anymore, and I'm just kind of going through the motions and feeling lonely. I hope that really can change. I'd like to think I'm capable of changing things myself, for once, instead of simply going to my therapist with the hopes of figuring something out every now and then, and then finding myself still having the same problems.
So, yeah, if I can make it through this semester and not fall apart like I've ALMOST done so many times, it would be great. And I'll just think about that right now, I guess....it's all I can do. But I hope things really are looking up...I've convinced myself that I might be better off overall once I have something to be truly happy about in my life for once, after all these years. I'm feeling good about it, and that's something that I'm really enjoying, for a change.
And Jillian, or should I say "Anonymous," I hope you don't take the things I say in my journal TOO hard. I worry about that...it's just hard when you feel so crushed by some of the things I say, but I know I just don't feel more of a connection with you than I do. Even though I do really love being friends with you. And I know how you feel....I'm sorry, I guess.
See that? Haha. I'm directly talking to another person via my Live Journal. LJ really is a weird thing. Anyway, I'm tired. Maybe I'll actually start writing in this thing again, though....haha.
I should have known this online journal thing was a bad idea. Haha. I would kill for a SWEET girly journal that locks and I could keep it under my pillow and no one else would be able to read it...haha. Oh well, who am I kidding. I probably really want the attention. It's a good question you know...how many of us lj'ers love to get the attention by putting our personal stories online? We might be like, "Well, it's personal, but it IS online, so I understand if someone reads it," but in reality, is everyone like, "Aaah, this is such a nice way to tell everyone what is on my mind without it being weird or difficult." Haha. And then you censor yourself...or I find that I do anyway...
I hope I don't fall apart with school. Again. That would be all I need. It already feels like it's happening. I wish I could pull it together, just for once. At least things are actually looking up for a change. And this time I think it will be different. I can really feel like I might be able to look back on today's entry in fond memory of the time when things started to look up. And I definitely know what I'm talking about. Which is interesting, since I told my therapist this morning how much I feel like I'm not going anywhere anymore, and I'm just kind of going through the motions and feeling lonely. I hope that really can change. I'd like to think I'm capable of changing things myself, for once, instead of simply going to my therapist with the hopes of figuring something out every now and then, and then finding myself still having the same problems.
So, yeah, if I can make it through this semester and not fall apart like I've ALMOST done so many times, it would be great. And I'll just think about that right now, I guess....it's all I can do. But I hope things really are looking up...I've convinced myself that I might be better off overall once I have something to be truly happy about in my life for once, after all these years. I'm feeling good about it, and that's something that I'm really enjoying, for a change.
And Jillian, or should I say "Anonymous," I hope you don't take the things I say in my journal TOO hard. I worry about that...it's just hard when you feel so crushed by some of the things I say, but I know I just don't feel more of a connection with you than I do. Even though I do really love being friends with you. And I know how you feel....I'm sorry, I guess.
See that? Haha. I'm directly talking to another person via my Live Journal. LJ really is a weird thing. Anyway, I'm tired. Maybe I'll actually start writing in this thing again, though....haha.