i'm on the outside
so as the title suggests, i really felt out of sorts today. i guess my usually happy-go-lucky self melted for a while to reveal the moody pessimist lurking somewhere in me. i got to thinking: will i end up washed up? a failure? how do i know that i won't crash and burn miserably? sure, i can work hard and be the best i can be. but that won't assure me of success. especially if i decide to pursue acting. it's something i love. i love doing it and i've been pretty good at what little exercises i've done to date. but it's not enough. am i willing to get naked for success? no. the thought of my family seeing that disgusts me beyond belief. i don't want to be stuck in a corporate desk job, at a dead end, somewhere i'll feel frustrated. i don't want one of those jobs that eat away at people and make them miserable, bitter shits.
i've always been creative and "artsy", but unfortunately, in society, creativity's never made the "career worthy" mark. you have to be a prodigy or dead usually. hopefully my major (photography/visual communication) will allow me the financial & career stability that i need and provide a creative outlet.
whatever though, i'm not going to worry, because right now i'm just having a moment of insecurity. they come every now and then, but i always come back to what i have, and that outweighs what i don't every time. great friends, great family, and an amazing school where i can hopefully wash those insecurities away. i've always been one to worry, ever since i was that little five year old girl who ran from the dinner table crying one day because she figured out what dying was. since then i've known that life's too short to hold a grudge, and too short to not do what you love, and basically too short to not LIVE. So that's the thought that keeps me hanging in there. Life's too short, so enjoy it and spend as little time worrying, and bickering, and being a butthead as possible and just ENJOY it. :)
i've always been creative and "artsy", but unfortunately, in society, creativity's never made the "career worthy" mark. you have to be a prodigy or dead usually. hopefully my major (photography/visual communication) will allow me the financial & career stability that i need and provide a creative outlet.
whatever though, i'm not going to worry, because right now i'm just having a moment of insecurity. they come every now and then, but i always come back to what i have, and that outweighs what i don't every time. great friends, great family, and an amazing school where i can hopefully wash those insecurities away. i've always been one to worry, ever since i was that little five year old girl who ran from the dinner table crying one day because she figured out what dying was. since then i've known that life's too short to hold a grudge, and too short to not do what you love, and basically too short to not LIVE. So that's the thought that keeps me hanging in there. Life's too short, so enjoy it and spend as little time worrying, and bickering, and being a butthead as possible and just ENJOY it. :)