SECRETS.

[thedisease]

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Anything.
a story,
a secret,
a confession,
a fear,
a love,
ANYTHING.

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Comments

[anonymous]

there are so many things about me and the life that i lead that i'm ashamed of. i look around me and all i see depresses me. i look at myself and i feel the exact same way. it depresses me. i'm afraid that if i ever do find a boyfriend, he'll be ashamed of me, where i come from, and a lot of other stuff. society, since i was first placed on this earth, has told me that if people truly care for me, none of that should matter, but you know what? i think it really does. regardless of people saying things like, "if someone really cares for you, they'll look past all your faults" ... i don't believe it. it's always there, in the back of their head. you think they accept you just the way you are, and like you for it, but if they could, they would change you to fit their standards in a heartbeat. i'll never be good enough. i never have been and i never will be. i know i should just quit whining about it and move on with my life, but i can't help it. how can you keep yourself from dwelling on something that never leaves you?

i cry so much and i just want it to STOP. i cry for no reason, sometimes. i'll just be sitting in the chair and tears will start forming in my eyes. i then have to hurry into the bathroom so that no one can see me crying. i hate feeling like i have to hide my feelings all the time. why is crying so unacceptable in this society? so many people think crying is a sign of weakness...and me? i really don't know. i'd like to think it's a sign of strength, but i know i don't have any of that, so it can't be.

i like going to sleep because it means [hopefully] i'll have a good dream. it seems like the only good things that happen to me are in my dreams. i hope, each and every night, before i close my eyes, that something really wonderful will happen in my dreams. i want something i've never felt before...happiness. and if the only way i can attain happiness is in my dreams, let me sleep forever.

i want to tell everyone how i feel, but i don't know how. i can't even tell people online what i'm feeling. it hurts like hell to keep the emotions bottled up inside, but i guess i'm just scared of rejection and making a total fool out of myself.

i just want SOMEBODY to accept me for who i am. people say they do, but i really don't believe them. i think they're just telling me that to make me feel better. i don't want the fake feelings; i want the real ones. i want someone to be 100% okay with how i look, the way i feel, where i come from, the life i lead, and where i'm going. i don't want to feel like i have to put on a masquerade for people anymore. i want someone who i can be myself around, each and everyday. i want someone who feels like they can be theirself around me too. i don't care who this person is. it doesn't matter it's a boy or a girl. it doesn't matter if they're fat or skinny. it doesn't matter if they're attractive or not in society's eyes. it doesn't matter where they come from. it doesn't matter where they're going. NOTHING insignificant like that matters to me. in the past, yes, it did. however, it doesn't anymore. you can't judge someone by any of that and truly be happy. i just want someone to be there for me when i need them. and i promise you [whoever you are] that i'll always be there for you too. together, we can face this cruel world.