Bailing Mary out of Trouble
Mary got herself in a bit of trouble last night, and naturally I had to bail her ass out. She was working the 1-4 AM shift on Steinbloom street, and I guess she ended up heading off to some seedy motel with a banker named Noah Heimen. Not only does the man have a terribly unfortunate name, but he apparently also has an icredibly disturbing fetish involving three pitchers of warm milk and a boa constrictor. Simon, Judas and I had gotten loaded and were walking up and down streets smashing in mailboxes with an aluminum bat, and we just happened to be outside of the Red Roof Inn as Mary came running out into the night, naked and screaming with a large snake and short, fat man with a small penis following close behind her. Judas introduced the boa to his good friend "Louisville Slugger" and after that I think Noah got the picture, because he quickly resolved to head on home. We took Mary out for some pancakes at J-HOP (Jewish House of Pancakes for those of you who have never been hungry late at night in Jerusalem), and then dropped her back off at the brothel.
Tomorrow, Peter is throwing a party at the bowling alley where he works/lives. He has a nice little room in the back, it's not very big, but then again he spends most of his time volunteering at the local Elementary Schools and conducting the Temple Bethel Boys' Choir. He really loves helping out in the community. Bless his soul. Anyway, the party will probably blow, so Judas and Matthew are pitching in for a keg of some imported Roman wine, and Luke and I are going to round up some chicks. Simon isn't going to make it because he's going to some toga party at the gouvernor's palace. Pilate's a really boring guy, but I guess his parties can be fun. I wasn't invited though: go figure.
Time to go clean up a bit, Mom and Joe are coming for dinner, and he always makes snide comments under his breath about how "squalid" my place is. This from the jerk who was too cheap to get a fucking hotel room so I wouldn't have to born in a goddamn horse trough. Consequently, the first thing my naked, sinless, holy body touched in this world was a bucket that animals eat out of. Thanks for that one Joe.
Peace up; J-town down.
Jesus
Tomorrow, Peter is throwing a party at the bowling alley where he works/lives. He has a nice little room in the back, it's not very big, but then again he spends most of his time volunteering at the local Elementary Schools and conducting the Temple Bethel Boys' Choir. He really loves helping out in the community. Bless his soul. Anyway, the party will probably blow, so Judas and Matthew are pitching in for a keg of some imported Roman wine, and Luke and I are going to round up some chicks. Simon isn't going to make it because he's going to some toga party at the gouvernor's palace. Pilate's a really boring guy, but I guess his parties can be fun. I wasn't invited though: go figure.
Time to go clean up a bit, Mom and Joe are coming for dinner, and he always makes snide comments under his breath about how "squalid" my place is. This from the jerk who was too cheap to get a fucking hotel room so I wouldn't have to born in a goddamn horse trough. Consequently, the first thing my naked, sinless, holy body touched in this world was a bucket that animals eat out of. Thanks for that one Joe.
Peace up; J-town down.
Jesus