sometimes i just wanna go ..
..home. been thinking about it a lot lately, and suddenly it's like everything is screaming at me to just get out and go back to where i came from... which seems really drastic and stupid, but missing everything that was my life for twelve years tends to come in waves. more people that i haven't talked to since i was a freshman or since the day i moved have been randomly reconnecting with me and it makes me happy to be talking again but really unhappy to be stuck in the past with them and it makes me restless. lately i've just been thinking about how crazy it would be if i just went back to st louis and went somewhere like mizzou or sms for college. those are good schools. and i'm 100% positive that if thats where i would have stayed, i would have definitely gone to one of those schools. everyone does from around there. it's like a given. and okay, i'm not one for believing strongly in signs, but a random new kid in my discrete class just moved here not from new orleans, but from st louis. weird! and a really sweet new girl just came to my english class and it reminded me of exactly how it was and how i felt when i was new. i've been able to forget about it for 2 years and now all this stuff that's been going on is so weird and so random and it makes me think about what moving was like again.
i havent updated in forever. too busy for that. theres nothing interesting anyway. i barely sleep. i spend all my time at school, work, and....doing homework. i think that's it. at least newspaper and AP english haven't turned out to be so bad.... editing lots of younger writers' articles makes my head ache and makes me feel as if my own writing ability is diminishing as i read..which is hard to deal with it but i want to do my best. i dont know everything and im not a perfect writer myself, but.... i think some of the other editors can agree with me on this (bryan, think 'panthers') and have an idea as to what i'm talking about. english isn't that hard, except for the summer assignment which is still yet to be completed.
i haven't applied to any college whatsover and i may, at this rate, die and graduate before i do so... but not necessarily in that order.
why am i wasting my time writing in this when i could be sleeping?
what was i thinking..
<3 a . marie