mini-rant
-Gist of a conversation from last night-
"About [Name Redacted], She's hot. Why isn't anyone tagging that?" Looks directly at me. "And I'm talking about you."
"Because I'm well aware of when the Bad Idea Fairy comes a-callin' and she's knocking on the door as we speak."
"Did you ever stop to wonder if maybe there are Good Ideas out there and you just mistake them for Bad Ideas?"
"No, I don't wonder things like that, and as long as I think it's a bad idea, (which I still do) my stance here isn't going to change. Is there something I should know that you guys aren't telling me?"
[moment of silence]
-This goes back and forth in varying degrees of Batmanuellian terminology for a while.-
So here's my rant:
-This person is attractive and generally awesome. My outright refusal to consider trying to jump into her pants doesn't really involve that. This really is a case of "It's not you, it's me."
Let's start by giving a brief introduction to "Artist Olin." Artist Olin is the part of me that lives and thrives by creating neat things. Artist Olin is turned almost completely inward. While he still cares about people and what's going on around him, A-Olin is primarily concerned with himself and whatever crackpot project he's currently developing. A-Olin is not relationship material. A-Olin is nigh asexual. A-Olin is also the part of me that is pretty much running the show these days.
So you've got me as a flaky artist-type who is more self-centered than usual and doesn't really give a damn about romantic or sexual relationships at the time. How is this a good idea for her? That stream of knowledge I call "The Bad Idea Fairy" works both ways in situations like these. It isn't just a sense of "this person is bad for me." It's also a sense of "I am a bad choice for this person."
Another point: I'm fairly passive aggressive, and an accomplished contrarian. I will quite willfully disregard most advice you give me and do something else entirely if you push me. Trying to corner me into hooking up with her is not going to work. Not only am I not going to play ball, I'm also going to lash out at you for the presumption while I'm at it.
Point, the Third: This person has never shown any interest in me as anything beyond a friend. I'm content with that. Hell, I've only looked on her as a friend, so I guess the feeling is mutual. Additionally, there's the matter of respect. This is a person I respect. To go running, dick forward, leading the charge against the front lines guarding her bits is a fairly disrespectful way to handle things, and not how I've ever operated. that should be the end of it, but I've got one more.
Point, the Fourth: When has this specific person's advice on relationships ever produced beneficial results? Never. He tries to meddle and push people. When they listen, it always fucks things up because he's kind of a misogynist asshole. When they don't listen, they're so tired of hearing about it that it sours the relationship he's trying to advise them on, mostly because he thinks everyone's love life should work in exactly the same dysfunctional way his does. So far he's got two ugly breakups that he created under his belt and at least one (mine) that he was partially responsible for killing in its infancy because *drumroll please* he kept pushing the person I was with instead of giving her a chance to decide how to proceed on her own. Yes, there were other things going on there, but they might have been workable if only he'd kept his mouth shut and let people have lives of their own.
"About [Name Redacted], She's hot. Why isn't anyone tagging that?" Looks directly at me. "And I'm talking about you."
"Because I'm well aware of when the Bad Idea Fairy comes a-callin' and she's knocking on the door as we speak."
"Did you ever stop to wonder if maybe there are Good Ideas out there and you just mistake them for Bad Ideas?"
"No, I don't wonder things like that, and as long as I think it's a bad idea, (which I still do) my stance here isn't going to change. Is there something I should know that you guys aren't telling me?"
[moment of silence]
-This goes back and forth in varying degrees of Batmanuellian terminology for a while.-
So here's my rant:
-This person is attractive and generally awesome. My outright refusal to consider trying to jump into her pants doesn't really involve that. This really is a case of "It's not you, it's me."
Let's start by giving a brief introduction to "Artist Olin." Artist Olin is the part of me that lives and thrives by creating neat things. Artist Olin is turned almost completely inward. While he still cares about people and what's going on around him, A-Olin is primarily concerned with himself and whatever crackpot project he's currently developing. A-Olin is not relationship material. A-Olin is nigh asexual. A-Olin is also the part of me that is pretty much running the show these days.
So you've got me as a flaky artist-type who is more self-centered than usual and doesn't really give a damn about romantic or sexual relationships at the time. How is this a good idea for her? That stream of knowledge I call "The Bad Idea Fairy" works both ways in situations like these. It isn't just a sense of "this person is bad for me." It's also a sense of "I am a bad choice for this person."
Another point: I'm fairly passive aggressive, and an accomplished contrarian. I will quite willfully disregard most advice you give me and do something else entirely if you push me. Trying to corner me into hooking up with her is not going to work. Not only am I not going to play ball, I'm also going to lash out at you for the presumption while I'm at it.
Point, the Third: This person has never shown any interest in me as anything beyond a friend. I'm content with that. Hell, I've only looked on her as a friend, so I guess the feeling is mutual. Additionally, there's the matter of respect. This is a person I respect. To go running, dick forward, leading the charge against the front lines guarding her bits is a fairly disrespectful way to handle things, and not how I've ever operated. that should be the end of it, but I've got one more.
Point, the Fourth: When has this specific person's advice on relationships ever produced beneficial results? Never. He tries to meddle and push people. When they listen, it always fucks things up because he's kind of a misogynist asshole. When they don't listen, they're so tired of hearing about it that it sours the relationship he's trying to advise them on, mostly because he thinks everyone's love life should work in exactly the same dysfunctional way his does. So far he's got two ugly breakups that he created under his belt and at least one (mine) that he was partially responsible for killing in its infancy because *drumroll please* he kept pushing the person I was with instead of giving her a chance to decide how to proceed on her own. Yes, there were other things going on there, but they might have been workable if only he'd kept his mouth shut and let people have lives of their own.