perspective.
As I sit here watching the smoke circle around my glass of brandy I realize that I am ready for something new. It does not matter what as long as it is something that is not what I usually do.
I have filled out a few of those surveys on myspace, and when it asks "are you single/married/liking someone" I always reply something like "none of the above" a few people have said thats retarted you have to be one of the above. I am none of those. Technically I am single, but I dont consider myself single for the simple fact that I am not out there looking to be unsingle. I need to be unsingle. It is shitty because I realize this yet I will do absolutely nothing about it. I have had nothing, but bad experiences with the opposite sex, and that has alot to do with it. I am tired of being there willing, and able, and she being neither.
Earlier in the day there was a Marty Robbins showcase on PBS. If you do not know who he is ask your parents. You may remember him from the song "El Paso" He died before many of us were born in 1982. Anyways he sang a song called "My woman, my woman, my wife". He wrote it for his wife who he married in 1948, and stayed married untill the day he died in 1982. Here is a quote from that song.
"When she reaches that river lord you know what she is worth. Give her that mansion up yander, cause she has been through hell here on earth. Lord give her my share of heaven if I have earned any here in this life, cause God I believe she deserves it."
They say that every time she heard the song she got teary eyed. I realize I want to make an impact like that on someone's life someday. I do feel that there have been one or two that have had that impact on me, but the feeling was never mutual.
he also wrote a song called "story of my life"
"Someday I am gonna write the story of my life. I will tell about the night we met, and how my heart can not forget the way you smiled at me."
Now if I ever do write a story of my life. There are definitely 3 nights that I will tell about that impacted me like that.
It is nights like these that I reallly wish I could believe in religion, and Jesus, and all that good stuff. A few of you may think that is for a certain reason, but it is for no other reason then needing something like that in my life. I realize that sitting here listening to sad music, and drinking is only a temporary fix to my problems. I need something that gives me a permanent fix.
I have filled out a few of those surveys on myspace, and when it asks "are you single/married/liking someone" I always reply something like "none of the above" a few people have said thats retarted you have to be one of the above. I am none of those. Technically I am single, but I dont consider myself single for the simple fact that I am not out there looking to be unsingle. I need to be unsingle. It is shitty because I realize this yet I will do absolutely nothing about it. I have had nothing, but bad experiences with the opposite sex, and that has alot to do with it. I am tired of being there willing, and able, and she being neither.
Earlier in the day there was a Marty Robbins showcase on PBS. If you do not know who he is ask your parents. You may remember him from the song "El Paso" He died before many of us were born in 1982. Anyways he sang a song called "My woman, my woman, my wife". He wrote it for his wife who he married in 1948, and stayed married untill the day he died in 1982. Here is a quote from that song.
"When she reaches that river lord you know what she is worth. Give her that mansion up yander, cause she has been through hell here on earth. Lord give her my share of heaven if I have earned any here in this life, cause God I believe she deserves it."
They say that every time she heard the song she got teary eyed. I realize I want to make an impact like that on someone's life someday. I do feel that there have been one or two that have had that impact on me, but the feeling was never mutual.
he also wrote a song called "story of my life"
"Someday I am gonna write the story of my life. I will tell about the night we met, and how my heart can not forget the way you smiled at me."
Now if I ever do write a story of my life. There are definitely 3 nights that I will tell about that impacted me like that.
It is nights like these that I reallly wish I could believe in religion, and Jesus, and all that good stuff. A few of you may think that is for a certain reason, but it is for no other reason then needing something like that in my life. I realize that sitting here listening to sad music, and drinking is only a temporary fix to my problems. I need something that gives me a permanent fix.