(no subject)
hmmmm jennifer and I have hit almost 8 months of us being together as a couple and ten months of us dating and I have to admit it's been the most enjoyable time in my life.
This is the longest I have ever been in a relationship without taking breaks or seeing other people and I have not once done anything questionable to jeopardize what wen have like cheat or even flirt or do anything inappropriate for that matter. I have thought every action out and made sure I do not even get myself in anything that I shouldn't and it has been so easy to do so. It's not like I lust after people and have to make myself pass it up because even when passes are made at me sure I find it flattering but do not think twice about it because I know nobody but Jennifer can make me feel the way I do.
She is always there for me and helps me out a lot more than she would ever know and I am forever greatful for that. Shes very understanding and puts up with my shit pretty well but lately if you know me I have been sick on and off for like 3 weeks and pretty much stay in my bed and sleep 12 to 15 hours a day and still have no energy to do much. This week was the worst because I only seen her Monday for a hour and lastnight for about 20 minutes because I do nothing but sleep. So, right now shes frustrated more than anything I believe and maybe not understanding where I am coming from because I have seen her pretty much everyday for ten months and out of the blue I put her off for a whole seven days so I totally see where shes coming from but I honestly have been so down and when I do get a little bit of energy it comes at like midnight and its not like I can call her up and drag her around with me at random hours(even though that would be awesome)because shes responsible with her job and child.
I've also been fighting I guess depression? I have never ever been depressed before and nothing I have is new but I really think that is some of my problem. My hair is like gone almost all of it but a few chunks so when I wear my little hat it looks normal with hair sticking out of the bottom but when its off and I see myself it looks down right sickly. This chemo gives me a nasty rash too, like massive, sick, body covering, itching rash! When I go to the store or whatever and hand people money they look at my arm and look at me with a face of pure grossed-out-ness. I know its in my head but I think shes sometimes embarrassed by me.. she had a dinner with co-workers and asked me once if I wanted to go and I said yes then I told her after a few days I was questioning it and then her boss asked her for her finale headcount and she went a head and said she was going alone without us ever really following-up with it because I wanted to go I was just anxious and stuff but whatever it is prob all in my head.
It is weird how well we get along and how easy it is for us to enjoy each other. I am happy just to head over to her place and jump in the bed and watch TV and hangout. I enjoy us doing anything as long as I am with her. I look at her and a warm crazy feeling runs over me its like the first time. I think she is the most beautiful person I have ever met, shes so fucking sexy you have no idea and just over-all fucking hot. I desire no other person in anyway no matter if its physical or mental she does it all for me and I wouldn't have it anyother way.
did you make it this far yet again? yay! youre bored! I use this too because she doesnt have a livejournal so I cant rant and rave here without her seeing.. this time it was good.. next time I am gonna make a nasty one about her so stay tuned ;) i'm kidding about making a nasty one.. I would never!
This is the longest I have ever been in a relationship without taking breaks or seeing other people and I have not once done anything questionable to jeopardize what wen have like cheat or even flirt or do anything inappropriate for that matter. I have thought every action out and made sure I do not even get myself in anything that I shouldn't and it has been so easy to do so. It's not like I lust after people and have to make myself pass it up because even when passes are made at me sure I find it flattering but do not think twice about it because I know nobody but Jennifer can make me feel the way I do.
She is always there for me and helps me out a lot more than she would ever know and I am forever greatful for that. Shes very understanding and puts up with my shit pretty well but lately if you know me I have been sick on and off for like 3 weeks and pretty much stay in my bed and sleep 12 to 15 hours a day and still have no energy to do much. This week was the worst because I only seen her Monday for a hour and lastnight for about 20 minutes because I do nothing but sleep. So, right now shes frustrated more than anything I believe and maybe not understanding where I am coming from because I have seen her pretty much everyday for ten months and out of the blue I put her off for a whole seven days so I totally see where shes coming from but I honestly have been so down and when I do get a little bit of energy it comes at like midnight and its not like I can call her up and drag her around with me at random hours(even though that would be awesome)because shes responsible with her job and child.
I've also been fighting I guess depression? I have never ever been depressed before and nothing I have is new but I really think that is some of my problem. My hair is like gone almost all of it but a few chunks so when I wear my little hat it looks normal with hair sticking out of the bottom but when its off and I see myself it looks down right sickly. This chemo gives me a nasty rash too, like massive, sick, body covering, itching rash! When I go to the store or whatever and hand people money they look at my arm and look at me with a face of pure grossed-out-ness. I know its in my head but I think shes sometimes embarrassed by me.. she had a dinner with co-workers and asked me once if I wanted to go and I said yes then I told her after a few days I was questioning it and then her boss asked her for her finale headcount and she went a head and said she was going alone without us ever really following-up with it because I wanted to go I was just anxious and stuff but whatever it is prob all in my head.
It is weird how well we get along and how easy it is for us to enjoy each other. I am happy just to head over to her place and jump in the bed and watch TV and hangout. I enjoy us doing anything as long as I am with her. I look at her and a warm crazy feeling runs over me its like the first time. I think she is the most beautiful person I have ever met, shes so fucking sexy you have no idea and just over-all fucking hot. I desire no other person in anyway no matter if its physical or mental she does it all for me and I wouldn't have it anyother way.
did you make it this far yet again? yay! youre bored! I use this too because she doesnt have a livejournal so I cant rant and rave here without her seeing.. this time it was good.. next time I am gonna make a nasty one about her so stay tuned ;) i'm kidding about making a nasty one.. I would never!