making a moutain out of a molehill
Tonight was one of those nights; one of those nights when you feel like your confidence if being shaken to its very core. I say "one of those nights" like everyone if familiar with what I am talking about and maybe you are not. Hopefully you are not. Sometimes these nights just hit me, like a swift kick in the sack, if I had a sack. I was not prepared for it at all. If I would have known it was coming, I would have stood in front of the mirror and reminded myself that people love me, before I left the house.
Tonight it seemed that with every moment and every interaction, my confidence was being chipped away and I was rapidly loosing hope that anyone liked me at all. Little, insignificant things that normally would not bother me, for some reason, tonight they were devastating me. Things that I would normally not think anything of, suddenly had so much meaning. People seeming reluctant to shake my hand when I met them for the first time, saying things that you think are funny and no one laughing, not getting hellos from people you usually get hellos from, not getting smiles from people you usually get smiles from, going to give someone a high-five and they don't notice and keep walking, not feeling like you are part of the conversation; every little thing building on the next until you want to crawl in a hole and never come out or die.
I hate it when I get like this, it's very melodramatic. It's very nonsensical to let random, meaningless events crush the truth that I have that people do love me and care about me. Referring to the title of this entry, I know that I am in fact making a mountain out of a molehill. Maybe they will invent a confidence enhancing pill, like the ones for memory, and I can take that next time. Or maybe stores will start selling confidence and I can buy some better, stronger confidence there. I think the best thing to do at this point it to sleep it off and start a new day tomorrow.
Goodnight
Tonight it seemed that with every moment and every interaction, my confidence was being chipped away and I was rapidly loosing hope that anyone liked me at all. Little, insignificant things that normally would not bother me, for some reason, tonight they were devastating me. Things that I would normally not think anything of, suddenly had so much meaning. People seeming reluctant to shake my hand when I met them for the first time, saying things that you think are funny and no one laughing, not getting hellos from people you usually get hellos from, not getting smiles from people you usually get smiles from, going to give someone a high-five and they don't notice and keep walking, not feeling like you are part of the conversation; every little thing building on the next until you want to crawl in a hole and never come out or die.
I hate it when I get like this, it's very melodramatic. It's very nonsensical to let random, meaningless events crush the truth that I have that people do love me and care about me. Referring to the title of this entry, I know that I am in fact making a mountain out of a molehill. Maybe they will invent a confidence enhancing pill, like the ones for memory, and I can take that next time. Or maybe stores will start selling confidence and I can buy some better, stronger confidence there. I think the best thing to do at this point it to sleep it off and start a new day tomorrow.
Goodnight