Misfits: I don't care (but I could love you so much better)
Title: I don't care (but I could love you so much better)
Fandom: Misfits
Pairing, Characters: Alisha/Simon, possible onesided Nathan -> Simon
Rating: PG-13 for language
Spoilers: For Series 2.
Disclaimer: Any characters mentioned here belong to their respective creators; the names of any real people mentioned refer to fictionalised versions of these people. No money is made and no offense intended.
Length: ~1400 words
Summary: Nathan thinks this whole thing between Alisha and Simon is wrong.
Written: November 2011
I don't care (but I could love you so much better)
"So, what, Barry here is going to grow up to be the guy in the mask, at some point in the very, very distant future, and you've decided to fuck him because you figure that has to be less disgusting than fucking the dead original? That's just wrong!" Nathan gestures at Alisha and Simon standing next to each other and pulled a face that should properly convey his shock at the whole wrongness of the situation , because if Nathan was the one to morally object to something then it was very wrong.
"Shut up, Nathan, You've got no idea what you are talking about." Alisha did that thing where she managed to look down at him when she wasn't even tall enough to properly hit him in the face and put her arm on Simon's face to steer him towards the door, and, see, see, right there, that's what Nathan was talking about!
"No! It's wrong, and I consider it my duty as a concerned citizen to speak up! You've got the hots for a guy that doesn't exist, and so you fuck someone who looks like him. Which is great for Barry here because he's finally getting some, but wrong! It's like fucking the creepy, slightly retarded clone of your dead ex! Fuck, that makes you more superficial than me!"
Simon squared his back and raised his head. "It's not like that."
He even took a step towards Nathan. Seriously? Give the pervert a girl who likes to play fair maiden and he thinks he's suddenly a knight.
"Shut up, Barry, no one's talking to you."
And Simon was back to looking uncomfortable and avoiding everybody's (well, Nathan's) eyes. See?
"We are talking about Barry here, Barry. He's not some badass superhero from the future, even if he looks like him. He's just Barry." He waved his hand at Simon, who tried to look as invisible as he could while still being visible.
"I know that! I don't care." Alisha crossed her arms, which did things to her tits but also meant she was going to be stubborn just for the sake of it.
"Yes, you do! You don't even like Barry; you want the guy in the mask, and that's not him. I mean, look at him, he's just standing there like some puppy that's about to wet the carpet!" Why did people have to be so stubborn?
"I don't! I love Simon!" No pair of tits could be awesome enough to make up for that glaring, downright unflattering, that.
"Oh yeah? Well, then proof it!" Nathan crossed his arms right back at her.
"What? Nathan, we are not gonna make out in front of you!" Alisha had the nerve to look insulted at that and stepped back into Simon. Simon seemed to pretend to have turned to stone.
"Oh, fuck off, since when do you have a problem with exhibitionism?" Nathan snorted. "But, eww, no thanks, there are things I don't need to see as they would scar my precious, innocent mind. Tell me why you fancy him!"
"He's sweet and a gentleman, unlike some." Alisha did that looking down at him thing again, this time with extra smug.
"Bollocks! He's a creep, and only too much of a coward to openly show what kind of a perv he is!" Nothing gentlemanly about that.
"He's got beautiful eyes, a cute smile, and an amazing body!" She looked Nathan up and down at that, and even thought she didn't say it this time he could hear the 'unlike some' just fine. Nathan was smoking hot, thank you very much!
"Again, superficial, and all part of the weird hots-for-the-clone fetish." Not that there was anything wrong with that, but then it should be hot chick, hot chick's clone, and Nathan. And why hadn't they met anyone with that power yet? "You don't even have those ridiculous couply nicknames for each other!"
"Why do you even care?" Nathan didn't even bother answering that. He didn't care, but this was a matter of principle now.
"He's sensitive!" And, yeah, at that even Simon looked at her funny. "What? That can be a good thing."
"Can be, sure, there have to be some girls who went for the sensitive closeted gays or else they'd be extinct already." But Alisha? Nah. And Simon managed to tense even more and took a step back when Alisha tried to put her hand back on his arm.
Progress! Almost done, and then Nathan wouldn't have to put up with their oh so subtle secret lovey-dovey longing glances anymore.
"Is that the best you can do? Nothing, I don't know, about how you find it flattering how he probably uses his power to secretly film you and then jack off to those videos? Or how he might be a paranoid little fucker but with our lifestyle that actually comes in handy and the fact that he killed that woman probation worker makes you feel tingly, and not in a bad way? How it's kind of cute how he keeps asking us to go out when we always blow him off? Or how the sad fact that he has no life means he's actually there for you if you need him? Do you think it's pathetic but kind of adorable how he can't dance for shit but still looks like he's having fun? Or how he looked way too happy when I showed him that photo of my mum's- of the guy who lives with my mum's cock and anus and ball sack, but at least he showed some interest, I mean, I was concerned for my mum there, you could at least have pretended to care, and Barry here offered to get me a gun off the internet and come with me!"
By the time he ran out of breath Nathan was pointing at Simon to support his point (subtlety had never won anyone anything, right?), Simon, who still kind of looked like a puppy about to start whimpering in confusion.
At least Alisha now looked sufficiently doubtful too, turning her head from Nathan to Simon and back. Finally time for a little self-awareness! Nathan could almost see the cogs in her head turning. Come on, come on, break it off!
"I…." And she was starting to look pissed again. Honestly, women. Couldn't handle the truth. Oh, no, not pissed! Was she- was she crying? Fuck, that's the reaction he expected from Simon when he found out his girlfriend didn't really want to screw him. "Why do you even care?"
Nathan raised his hands soothingly, because, hell, for once he'd only had the best of intentions, the longer all this, this dallying went on and got on his nerves the harder it would be for poor Barry when he found out the truth, right? And he was just about to explain that when Alisha pressed a hand to her mouth, stifling a sob, and ran out of the room, banging the door closed behind her.
"Why did you say all that?"
Nathan turned his raised hands to Simon, ready to defend himself, but Simon looked not so much pissed that Nathan got his one source of booty to ran away in shame, possibly to never open her legs to him again, and more like he was trying to figure Nathan out.
"Did you mean it?"
Fuck, Nathan hated it when Simon looked at him like that, it creeped him out, all blank psychopath face like he just didn't get how the world worked and too blue eyes wide open like he wanted to see everything and then replay it later, like with those little movies of his, except he hadn't got his phone out.
And now Nathan was confused too. He'd had a point. Why was he still here anyway? Just him and Simon. What if someone saw them together? People might think they were friends! What had been his point again? Oh yeah.
"It was wrong."
He backed away slowly, keeping his eyes on Simon because you never knew with those weirdos, until his back pumped into the door and his hand found the knob.
Nathan opened the door and slipped out while Barry still just stood there, staring after him.
Freak.
"And I don't care!"
Fandom: Misfits
Pairing, Characters: Alisha/Simon, possible onesided Nathan -> Simon
Rating: PG-13 for language
Spoilers: For Series 2.
Disclaimer: Any characters mentioned here belong to their respective creators; the names of any real people mentioned refer to fictionalised versions of these people. No money is made and no offense intended.
Length: ~1400 words
Summary: Nathan thinks this whole thing between Alisha and Simon is wrong.
Written: November 2011
I don't care (but I could love you so much better)
"So, what, Barry here is going to grow up to be the guy in the mask, at some point in the very, very distant future, and you've decided to fuck him because you figure that has to be less disgusting than fucking the dead original? That's just wrong!" Nathan gestures at Alisha and Simon standing next to each other and pulled a face that should properly convey his shock at the whole wrongness of the situation , because if Nathan was the one to morally object to something then it was very wrong.
"Shut up, Nathan, You've got no idea what you are talking about." Alisha did that thing where she managed to look down at him when she wasn't even tall enough to properly hit him in the face and put her arm on Simon's face to steer him towards the door, and, see, see, right there, that's what Nathan was talking about!
"No! It's wrong, and I consider it my duty as a concerned citizen to speak up! You've got the hots for a guy that doesn't exist, and so you fuck someone who looks like him. Which is great for Barry here because he's finally getting some, but wrong! It's like fucking the creepy, slightly retarded clone of your dead ex! Fuck, that makes you more superficial than me!"
Simon squared his back and raised his head. "It's not like that."
He even took a step towards Nathan. Seriously? Give the pervert a girl who likes to play fair maiden and he thinks he's suddenly a knight.
"Shut up, Barry, no one's talking to you."
And Simon was back to looking uncomfortable and avoiding everybody's (well, Nathan's) eyes. See?
"We are talking about Barry here, Barry. He's not some badass superhero from the future, even if he looks like him. He's just Barry." He waved his hand at Simon, who tried to look as invisible as he could while still being visible.
"I know that! I don't care." Alisha crossed her arms, which did things to her tits but also meant she was going to be stubborn just for the sake of it.
"Yes, you do! You don't even like Barry; you want the guy in the mask, and that's not him. I mean, look at him, he's just standing there like some puppy that's about to wet the carpet!" Why did people have to be so stubborn?
"I don't! I love Simon!" No pair of tits could be awesome enough to make up for that glaring, downright unflattering, that.
"Oh yeah? Well, then proof it!" Nathan crossed his arms right back at her.
"What? Nathan, we are not gonna make out in front of you!" Alisha had the nerve to look insulted at that and stepped back into Simon. Simon seemed to pretend to have turned to stone.
"Oh, fuck off, since when do you have a problem with exhibitionism?" Nathan snorted. "But, eww, no thanks, there are things I don't need to see as they would scar my precious, innocent mind. Tell me why you fancy him!"
"He's sweet and a gentleman, unlike some." Alisha did that looking down at him thing again, this time with extra smug.
"Bollocks! He's a creep, and only too much of a coward to openly show what kind of a perv he is!" Nothing gentlemanly about that.
"He's got beautiful eyes, a cute smile, and an amazing body!" She looked Nathan up and down at that, and even thought she didn't say it this time he could hear the 'unlike some' just fine. Nathan was smoking hot, thank you very much!
"Again, superficial, and all part of the weird hots-for-the-clone fetish." Not that there was anything wrong with that, but then it should be hot chick, hot chick's clone, and Nathan. And why hadn't they met anyone with that power yet? "You don't even have those ridiculous couply nicknames for each other!"
"Why do you even care?" Nathan didn't even bother answering that. He didn't care, but this was a matter of principle now.
"He's sensitive!" And, yeah, at that even Simon looked at her funny. "What? That can be a good thing."
"Can be, sure, there have to be some girls who went for the sensitive closeted gays or else they'd be extinct already." But Alisha? Nah. And Simon managed to tense even more and took a step back when Alisha tried to put her hand back on his arm.
Progress! Almost done, and then Nathan wouldn't have to put up with their oh so subtle secret lovey-dovey longing glances anymore.
"Is that the best you can do? Nothing, I don't know, about how you find it flattering how he probably uses his power to secretly film you and then jack off to those videos? Or how he might be a paranoid little fucker but with our lifestyle that actually comes in handy and the fact that he killed that woman probation worker makes you feel tingly, and not in a bad way? How it's kind of cute how he keeps asking us to go out when we always blow him off? Or how the sad fact that he has no life means he's actually there for you if you need him? Do you think it's pathetic but kind of adorable how he can't dance for shit but still looks like he's having fun? Or how he looked way too happy when I showed him that photo of my mum's- of the guy who lives with my mum's cock and anus and ball sack, but at least he showed some interest, I mean, I was concerned for my mum there, you could at least have pretended to care, and Barry here offered to get me a gun off the internet and come with me!"
By the time he ran out of breath Nathan was pointing at Simon to support his point (subtlety had never won anyone anything, right?), Simon, who still kind of looked like a puppy about to start whimpering in confusion.
At least Alisha now looked sufficiently doubtful too, turning her head from Nathan to Simon and back. Finally time for a little self-awareness! Nathan could almost see the cogs in her head turning. Come on, come on, break it off!
"I…." And she was starting to look pissed again. Honestly, women. Couldn't handle the truth. Oh, no, not pissed! Was she- was she crying? Fuck, that's the reaction he expected from Simon when he found out his girlfriend didn't really want to screw him. "Why do you even care?"
Nathan raised his hands soothingly, because, hell, for once he'd only had the best of intentions, the longer all this, this dallying went on and got on his nerves the harder it would be for poor Barry when he found out the truth, right? And he was just about to explain that when Alisha pressed a hand to her mouth, stifling a sob, and ran out of the room, banging the door closed behind her.
"Why did you say all that?"
Nathan turned his raised hands to Simon, ready to defend himself, but Simon looked not so much pissed that Nathan got his one source of booty to ran away in shame, possibly to never open her legs to him again, and more like he was trying to figure Nathan out.
"Did you mean it?"
Fuck, Nathan hated it when Simon looked at him like that, it creeped him out, all blank psychopath face like he just didn't get how the world worked and too blue eyes wide open like he wanted to see everything and then replay it later, like with those little movies of his, except he hadn't got his phone out.
And now Nathan was confused too. He'd had a point. Why was he still here anyway? Just him and Simon. What if someone saw them together? People might think they were friends! What had been his point again? Oh yeah.
"It was wrong."
He backed away slowly, keeping his eyes on Simon because you never knew with those weirdos, until his back pumped into the door and his hand found the knob.
Nathan opened the door and slipped out while Barry still just stood there, staring after him.
Freak.
"And I don't care!"