My best defense

[thedeath_of_you]

Botan glanced out the window as she took the tea tray from a servant. It had been a rather quiet day at the shop. Seemed like the season for new clothes had died down. In fact, it had been so quiet that the staff had taken off at midday

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[desert_gaara]

Taking a month off after Botan's and his wedding had come with a price: work had piled up in a way he could hardly believe. At first he had though that he'd catch up relatively quickly, but the more he got done, the more he found he needed to do. And it seemed the everything needed to be done Right This Minute, Preferably Yesterday.

He looked at the clock and sighed deeply, rubbing his tired eyes. It was almost mean, that he had had a time when he got to sleep, but was now unable to do so again. He hated the monster inside him, but he had to admit that it was an useful one.

Well, it was definitely about time he headed home, he thought, and packed up a stack of papers and folders. He could continue with this after Botan had gone to sleep for the night.

Not long after he stepped through the door. More rooms had been opened up to their quarters; a sewing studio for Botan, and a simple office for himself. Since he needed something to occupy his nights again, anyway, he usually spent them working.

Always working.

[thedeath_of_you]

There was nothing else for it. Glaring at the stubborn tea didn't help, so she had no option but to half-heartedly carry it up to their rooms.

By the time she got up there, Gaara had arrived. A sudden wave of melancholy washed over her as she smiled outwardly.

"Good evening, Kazekage-sama." It was the usual slightly playful greeting, but lacking.

[desert_gaara]

"I'm home." He was happy to be, but something about her seemed worn, tonight. "I'm sorry I'm so late;" he went on and dropped the stack of papers on a table before walking over to give her a kiss on the cheek. "How was your day?"

[thedeath_of_you]

"It's fine." The mechanical response. She brightened slightly at the kiss on the cheek.

She began to set the low tea table, one cup for him and one for her.

"It's out-of-season now. I got to leave work early today. No use paying someone overtime when there aren't any customers, huh? I did get to finish my book."

[desert_gaara]

"No, I suppose not," he said, sitting down. He liked this part of the day, but wondered why it suddenly felt... gray, somehow. He was probably just tired. A day off was probably a good idea, regardless of how much he had to do. He owed Botan that much, too, at the very least. "How did it end?"

[thedeath_of_you]

"I didn't like it. In the end, the soldier died and never got to see the girl he wrote the letters to ever again." She didn't like the sad endings, but Keiko had recommended it.

She poured the cold liquid into each of their cups. "I'm sorry. I messed up on the tea again and couldn't get another pot made in time." It was so easy to blame her own shortcomings.

[desert_gaara]

"I keep you waiting too long." He did, he knew it. But recently, it had started to happen the same way. When he felt like he had done enough, gotten the pile to shrink enough, it was late.

He picked up his cup and took a sip. There were no warmth left in it at all.

Tomorrow. Tomorrow he would be home in good time.

[thedeath_of_you]

"I told you, it's fine." That came out a bit more snippy than intended. She took a sip, regretting her tone.

She put her cup down with a clink!

[desert_gaara]

That tone caused him to stop with his cup half-way to his lips. He had never heard that tone from her, at least not directed at him.

"Is it really?"

[thedeath_of_you]

"It is. Forget about it." She didn't pick up the cup again. Suddenly, suddenly...

She felt something she hadn't quite felt towards him. She...she could almost say she was a little bit miffed. Part of her knew it wasn't fair, that he was apologetic about it, but part of her was hurt.

She was disgusted with herself.

[desert_gaara]

He kept eyeing her a moment, over the rim of his teacup. But Gaara had always been the silent type; he didn't say another word.

He was trying to figure out what was going, was trying to read her. It was suddenly far harder than it used to be. But then, she was much more closet off now that she usually was.

[thedeath_of_you]

Botan felt uncomfortable. It was so odd, being mad at him. She looked straight in his eyes when she felt them on her, but quickly averted them after a moment.

She sat in silence, until she decided this was only making her feel worse. "I have a headache." The oldest lie in the female book, good for any kind of excuse.

[desert_gaara]

Now it was Gaara's turn to look away, down into his up. Why was she acting like this? She had to know he didn't want to work so much, right? Or was it something else?

[thedeath_of_you]

His look nearly broke her heart.

The worst part about it all was that she knew he didn't, but she couldn't stop herself. It had been bothering her, and she hadn't spoken up about it and it gnawed at her.

It was so stupid of her, and she felt so stupid and low. She bit her lip.

[desert_gaara]

Apparently, they could stay in this thick silence, Gaara noted. Neither were aboutto speak. But if neither spoke, nothing would happen. And this? This hurt.

"Botan, what's happening? Did I do anything more?"

[thedeath_of_you]

Her voice came out strangely to her. "N-no, it's not your fault. It's mine."

She shifted, almost looking like she's ready to get up. "I'm just too selfish."