Can You Feel It Too? [One-shot]
Title: Can You Feel It Too? [One-shot]
Word Count: 1,279
Pairings: Yesung/Ryeowook
Rating: PG
Summary: Ryeowook realizes that love is blind.
Disclaimer: Title taken from "Kelsey" by Metro Station
He’d always been there for Yesung. The two of them had an unspoken bond that no one else could break, male or female. Even when Yesung brought his new girlfriends to meet Ryeowook, Ryeowook knew the relationships wouldn’t last.
They never did.
He wasn’t a bad friend for thinking so, however. He was realistic. Yesung would find a girl he thought was cute, confused infatuation for love and profess her to be “the one.” Ryeowook would simply humor Yesung with a few nods and affirmations before making him something to eat.
He’d also be there to give him a hug and a few encouraging words when Yesung would get dumped. He was too quick to move to the next level in these relationships, Ryeowook thought. He was too much for every girl he dated, talking about marriage almost right away. He would scare them off, and then he’d come to Ryeowook, crying and wondering why he wasn’t getting anywhere with these girls.
Ryeowook would sigh, knowingly but then pretend he wasn’t sure why exactly these girls never were as ready as Yesung was. He knew the real answer though.
It wasn’t so much that Yesung would move too fast. It was more of an issue of those girls not understanding the way Yesung’s mind worked. Ryeowook was sure he was the only one who would ever understand Yesung, and he was sure that he’d always be the only one.
That’s when he realized he was in love with his best friend, his male best friend.
He fought the idea, denied his feelings and pretended that it was just brotherly love. He was just protective over Yesung because he was like a brother to him. There was nothing else to it, he thought. It couldn’t be anything more than that, he would repeat to himself over and over again in the mirror. He then would stare into his own eyes, see the fear and look away.
One day, he stopped fighting it. He was in love. But it wasn’t about him being gay. He was okay with the idea but he knew he wasn’t attracted to Yesung because he was male. This wasn’t about sexuality.
This was about love. He loved Yesung because Yesung was unique, special in all his quirks and all his faults. There was no one else Ryeowook knew who compared, and in his heart, he believed he’d never find someone quite like Yesung.
He loved Yesung; he loved Yesung the person, Yesung the man, Yesung the best friend.
This wasn’t right, he thought. Especially when Yesung would never consider him as anything more than a friend.
If only he was a girl, he started to think. He looked at himself, stared at his masculine body and cursing the fact that he had to be born male. Then he started to cry.
It hurt him to think that he had fallen this hard for someone he could never have. He’d considered a change but it was too drastic. He couldn’t handle it, he hated himself for ever considering it. But then he started to hate himself for not being willing to do it for Yesung. Wasn’t that what love was about? Shouldn’t he be willing to do anything for the person he loved?
His heart felt torn.
Then came the day Yesung broke up with yet another girlfriend. After a night of tossing and turning, thoughts of Yesung and that change running through his head, he couldn’t handle anymore griping, even if it was from his best friend.
Another word, another whine, he gave up. He slammed his hand on the table and looked at Yesung, glared was more like it.
“What’s wrong?”
Ryeowook wanted to cry, he could feel the tears in his eyes and there was a lump in his throat that wouldn’t go away. He couldn’t contain his feelings anymore, there was no way he could control them. It all came out.
“Did you ever stop to think that maybe I don’t want to hear this?!”
He couldn’t believe how harsh he was being but there was too much pain for him to want to stop.
Yesung barely stuttered a response before Ryeowook continued.
“Every single time you get dumped, I have to hear about how much you wish that girls would understand you. Then you tell me you wish I were a girl and how things would be better if it was just you and me. Do you think I enjoy hearing that?”
Yesung looked at him, his shocked expression changing into that one of subtle confusion. Ryeowook didn’t want to stop to explain what he meant. He would either understand or he wouldn’t, he thought to himself. It didn’t matter anymore. There was no holding back.
“I can’t help that I’m a man. I can’t help any of it. It makes me sick to my stomach knowing that you won’t ever look at me any differently because of my body. I thought about changing for you, but I’m too scared, Jongwoon. It’s too much. I-I LOVE YOU.”
He blurted it out without thinking and immediately wished he’d never said anything. There’d be too much awkwardness, too much discomfort, too many questions and not enough answers. He wanted to run, hide, pretend he’d never said a word and pretend he’d never had those thoughts. He couldn’t move; he felt immobile and was partly too scared to move. He wanted to hear what Yesung would say in response; he felt he had to, even if it was words of hate and anger.
He sat there, staring at Yesung. He didn’t look shocked or disgusted. He had a stern look on his face, but it wasn’t like he was angry. He looked like he was thinking, hard, absorbing all that Ryeowook had had to say. He stared into Ryeowook’s eyes, causing him to feel a twinge of fear. Then he got up from his seat, grabbed Ryeowook’s wrists and kissed him.
Ryeowook’s eyes widened and he felt himself go weak. He almost fell off his chair but Yesung tightened his grip on him and he remained in his seat. He didn’t have time to react before Yesung pulled away and stared back at him.
“I love you too.”
It was what he wanted to hear but certainly not what he expected to hear. He stared at Yesung a good five minutes before managing a single word out of his mouth.
“W-What?”
“I love you,” Yesung repeated, his firm look softening a bit. Ryeowook caught his breath and clenched his fist to keep it from shaking on the tabletop.
“H-How-”
“I know. I know. I don’t know when it happened, it just did. I didn’t ever expect it. I mean, I’m not-like that-not that there’s anything wrong with it-I just want to make that clear. I-I don’t know. I just know that I love you. And I want to be with you.”
Ryeowook felt himself smile a bit. He stood up and walked over to Yesung. He looked him in the eyes, his eyelids crinkling and his cheeks reddening. He then embraced Yesung, putting his head to his chest and staying there, never letting go.
“I love you, too,” he whispered, the words feeling so right as they came out of him. He sighed when he felt Yesung’s arms wrap around him.
He’d never felt more at ease than at that moment, in Yesung’s arms. Not as a friend, but as a lover, not as a man but as a person. That’s all they were, two people in love with each other, never wanting to be with anyone else, ever.
THE END
Word Count: 1,279
Pairings: Yesung/Ryeowook
Rating: PG
Summary: Ryeowook realizes that love is blind.
Disclaimer: Title taken from "Kelsey" by Metro Station
He’d always been there for Yesung. The two of them had an unspoken bond that no one else could break, male or female. Even when Yesung brought his new girlfriends to meet Ryeowook, Ryeowook knew the relationships wouldn’t last.
They never did.
He wasn’t a bad friend for thinking so, however. He was realistic. Yesung would find a girl he thought was cute, confused infatuation for love and profess her to be “the one.” Ryeowook would simply humor Yesung with a few nods and affirmations before making him something to eat.
He’d also be there to give him a hug and a few encouraging words when Yesung would get dumped. He was too quick to move to the next level in these relationships, Ryeowook thought. He was too much for every girl he dated, talking about marriage almost right away. He would scare them off, and then he’d come to Ryeowook, crying and wondering why he wasn’t getting anywhere with these girls.
Ryeowook would sigh, knowingly but then pretend he wasn’t sure why exactly these girls never were as ready as Yesung was. He knew the real answer though.
It wasn’t so much that Yesung would move too fast. It was more of an issue of those girls not understanding the way Yesung’s mind worked. Ryeowook was sure he was the only one who would ever understand Yesung, and he was sure that he’d always be the only one.
That’s when he realized he was in love with his best friend, his male best friend.
He fought the idea, denied his feelings and pretended that it was just brotherly love. He was just protective over Yesung because he was like a brother to him. There was nothing else to it, he thought. It couldn’t be anything more than that, he would repeat to himself over and over again in the mirror. He then would stare into his own eyes, see the fear and look away.
One day, he stopped fighting it. He was in love. But it wasn’t about him being gay. He was okay with the idea but he knew he wasn’t attracted to Yesung because he was male. This wasn’t about sexuality.
This was about love. He loved Yesung because Yesung was unique, special in all his quirks and all his faults. There was no one else Ryeowook knew who compared, and in his heart, he believed he’d never find someone quite like Yesung.
He loved Yesung; he loved Yesung the person, Yesung the man, Yesung the best friend.
This wasn’t right, he thought. Especially when Yesung would never consider him as anything more than a friend.
If only he was a girl, he started to think. He looked at himself, stared at his masculine body and cursing the fact that he had to be born male. Then he started to cry.
It hurt him to think that he had fallen this hard for someone he could never have. He’d considered a change but it was too drastic. He couldn’t handle it, he hated himself for ever considering it. But then he started to hate himself for not being willing to do it for Yesung. Wasn’t that what love was about? Shouldn’t he be willing to do anything for the person he loved?
His heart felt torn.
Then came the day Yesung broke up with yet another girlfriend. After a night of tossing and turning, thoughts of Yesung and that change running through his head, he couldn’t handle anymore griping, even if it was from his best friend.
Another word, another whine, he gave up. He slammed his hand on the table and looked at Yesung, glared was more like it.
“What’s wrong?”
Ryeowook wanted to cry, he could feel the tears in his eyes and there was a lump in his throat that wouldn’t go away. He couldn’t contain his feelings anymore, there was no way he could control them. It all came out.
“Did you ever stop to think that maybe I don’t want to hear this?!”
He couldn’t believe how harsh he was being but there was too much pain for him to want to stop.
Yesung barely stuttered a response before Ryeowook continued.
“Every single time you get dumped, I have to hear about how much you wish that girls would understand you. Then you tell me you wish I were a girl and how things would be better if it was just you and me. Do you think I enjoy hearing that?”
Yesung looked at him, his shocked expression changing into that one of subtle confusion. Ryeowook didn’t want to stop to explain what he meant. He would either understand or he wouldn’t, he thought to himself. It didn’t matter anymore. There was no holding back.
“I can’t help that I’m a man. I can’t help any of it. It makes me sick to my stomach knowing that you won’t ever look at me any differently because of my body. I thought about changing for you, but I’m too scared, Jongwoon. It’s too much. I-I LOVE YOU.”
He blurted it out without thinking and immediately wished he’d never said anything. There’d be too much awkwardness, too much discomfort, too many questions and not enough answers. He wanted to run, hide, pretend he’d never said a word and pretend he’d never had those thoughts. He couldn’t move; he felt immobile and was partly too scared to move. He wanted to hear what Yesung would say in response; he felt he had to, even if it was words of hate and anger.
He sat there, staring at Yesung. He didn’t look shocked or disgusted. He had a stern look on his face, but it wasn’t like he was angry. He looked like he was thinking, hard, absorbing all that Ryeowook had had to say. He stared into Ryeowook’s eyes, causing him to feel a twinge of fear. Then he got up from his seat, grabbed Ryeowook’s wrists and kissed him.
Ryeowook’s eyes widened and he felt himself go weak. He almost fell off his chair but Yesung tightened his grip on him and he remained in his seat. He didn’t have time to react before Yesung pulled away and stared back at him.
“I love you too.”
It was what he wanted to hear but certainly not what he expected to hear. He stared at Yesung a good five minutes before managing a single word out of his mouth.
“W-What?”
“I love you,” Yesung repeated, his firm look softening a bit. Ryeowook caught his breath and clenched his fist to keep it from shaking on the tabletop.
“H-How-”
“I know. I know. I don’t know when it happened, it just did. I didn’t ever expect it. I mean, I’m not-like that-not that there’s anything wrong with it-I just want to make that clear. I-I don’t know. I just know that I love you. And I want to be with you.”
Ryeowook felt himself smile a bit. He stood up and walked over to Yesung. He looked him in the eyes, his eyelids crinkling and his cheeks reddening. He then embraced Yesung, putting his head to his chest and staying there, never letting go.
“I love you, too,” he whispered, the words feeling so right as they came out of him. He sighed when he felt Yesung’s arms wrap around him.
He’d never felt more at ease than at that moment, in Yesung’s arms. Not as a friend, but as a lover, not as a man but as a person. That’s all they were, two people in love with each other, never wanting to be with anyone else, ever.
THE END