Who knew most teen girls have a fetish for cannibalism?
A
ADHD-what everyone had before they had autism.
Autism-what everyone had before they had bipolar disorder.
B
Bending spoons-a waste of available highly improbable events.
Birthday-an occasion that obligates you to write facebook messages to people you almost never talk to in real life.
B.S.: The only real qualification needed for success in a liberal arts major.
E
Elitist-a person with the temerity of believing that not everyone has equal ability.
Eyes-source of symoblism and cliches.
F
Food-a staple of American meals. (lol, Questees)
G
Genius-a word used to forestall the need for explanation. "How was Mozart able to do that?" "He was a genius." "What does it mean that he was a genius?" "He was able to do awesome stuff like that." "Okay..."
Gifted-a mild form of stupid. (lol, Questees).
H
Height-1. an acceptable form of discrimination. 2. Major determiner of men's salaries.
Human-what humanitarians eat.
I
Indie band-measured by the quantity of its fans, not the quality of its music.
Individuality-acceptable, within certain limits. (I like this one...)
Instrument-1. an excuse to play in a band or orchestra. 2. An excuse for innuendo.
Insults-a way to express love. ;)
J
Job-1. a way to segregate people into social roles. 2. In America, who you are (yet somehow, most people still choose ones they hate). 3. In Europe: an unimportant activity one does from time to time.
Joke-something that, when you study it, isn't funny.
L
Liquor-an excuse to do what you want to do, anyway.
Love-1. means everything, and nothing. 2. all you need, except food, water, sleep, etc.
M
Meme-1. a word no one knows how to pronounce. (It's MEEM, not mem or meh-may). 2. A pretentious name for lolcats, stupid quizzes, chain letters, and the like. 3. a way for social scientists to make themselves seem more like scientists. "See, we're scientists, too! We're studying memes! They're exactly the same as genes, only they're made of words instead of DNA!"
N
Narcissist-someone overly interested in himself when he should be more interested in me.
P
Predation-according to Twilight, synonym for romance.
R
Reality TV-proof that alternate reality exists.
Rights-things you feel entitled to.
S
Sauce-just add it to the end of any adjective, i.e. Awesome-sauce, lame-sauce, fail-sauce, angry-sauce.
Science-1. according to the general public but especially social scientists, the only legitimate form of knowledge. This is why social scientists and New Age people are always claiming to be scientists. 2. according to the general public but especially social scientists: using math to investigate the world. That's why people who study messy things like the mind, culture, and economies try to use math as much as possible. Don't remind them that Darwin's On the Origin of Species did not use a single equation.
Song lyrics-are always about the listener.
Stuff-it fills in all the spaces that can't be filled with more stuff (lol, Questees)
T
Time-God's way of preventing you from doing everything you want to.
Twilight-1. teaches us that there's nothing sexier than a guy who wants to devour us alive, and that most teen girls have a fetish for cannibalism. 2. Sparkles: they're not just for twelve-year-old girls any more. 3. Proves that a book does not need appealing characters, characterization, a good plot, writing technique, or the ability to construct good sentences to become a bestseller.
V
Villain-the most interesting character in any creative work.
Y
Yearbook-a cute excuse for nostalgia that can be turned into a popularity contest.
Your mom jokes-a substitute for conversation. Something to say when you can't think of anything to say.
ADHD-what everyone had before they had autism.
Autism-what everyone had before they had bipolar disorder.
B
Bending spoons-a waste of available highly improbable events.
Birthday-an occasion that obligates you to write facebook messages to people you almost never talk to in real life.
B.S.: The only real qualification needed for success in a liberal arts major.
E
Elitist-a person with the temerity of believing that not everyone has equal ability.
Eyes-source of symoblism and cliches.
F
Food-a staple of American meals. (lol, Questees)
G
Genius-a word used to forestall the need for explanation. "How was Mozart able to do that?" "He was a genius." "What does it mean that he was a genius?" "He was able to do awesome stuff like that." "Okay..."
Gifted-a mild form of stupid. (lol, Questees).
H
Height-1. an acceptable form of discrimination. 2. Major determiner of men's salaries.
Human-what humanitarians eat.
I
Indie band-measured by the quantity of its fans, not the quality of its music.
Individuality-acceptable, within certain limits. (I like this one...)
Instrument-1. an excuse to play in a band or orchestra. 2. An excuse for innuendo.
Insults-a way to express love. ;)
J
Job-1. a way to segregate people into social roles. 2. In America, who you are (yet somehow, most people still choose ones they hate). 3. In Europe: an unimportant activity one does from time to time.
Joke-something that, when you study it, isn't funny.
L
Liquor-an excuse to do what you want to do, anyway.
Love-1. means everything, and nothing. 2. all you need, except food, water, sleep, etc.
M
Meme-1. a word no one knows how to pronounce. (It's MEEM, not mem or meh-may). 2. A pretentious name for lolcats, stupid quizzes, chain letters, and the like. 3. a way for social scientists to make themselves seem more like scientists. "See, we're scientists, too! We're studying memes! They're exactly the same as genes, only they're made of words instead of DNA!"
N
Narcissist-someone overly interested in himself when he should be more interested in me.
P
Predation-according to Twilight, synonym for romance.
R
Reality TV-proof that alternate reality exists.
Rights-things you feel entitled to.
S
Sauce-just add it to the end of any adjective, i.e. Awesome-sauce, lame-sauce, fail-sauce, angry-sauce.
Science-1. according to the general public but especially social scientists, the only legitimate form of knowledge. This is why social scientists and New Age people are always claiming to be scientists. 2. according to the general public but especially social scientists: using math to investigate the world. That's why people who study messy things like the mind, culture, and economies try to use math as much as possible. Don't remind them that Darwin's On the Origin of Species did not use a single equation.
Song lyrics-are always about the listener.
Stuff-it fills in all the spaces that can't be filled with more stuff (lol, Questees)
T
Time-God's way of preventing you from doing everything you want to.
Twilight-1. teaches us that there's nothing sexier than a guy who wants to devour us alive, and that most teen girls have a fetish for cannibalism. 2. Sparkles: they're not just for twelve-year-old girls any more. 3. Proves that a book does not need appealing characters, characterization, a good plot, writing technique, or the ability to construct good sentences to become a bestseller.
V
Villain-the most interesting character in any creative work.
Y
Yearbook-a cute excuse for nostalgia that can be turned into a popularity contest.
Your mom jokes-a substitute for conversation. Something to say when you can't think of anything to say.