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[thedeadparrot]

Memeage, from th_esaurus

Comment with two characters I know, and I'll tell you about their first kiss.

Crossovers are completely okay and rather encouraged.

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[thedeadparrot]

Um, I don't like Envy all that much, but here's the best I could do!

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So a bunch of freaks have decided to kidnap him and drag his ass to an underground lair and stick a bunch of papers in his hands that say that he's been brought here to finish Dr. Marco's work, and House has no idea who Dr. Marco is or what exactly he was doing, but it sure as fuck isn't diagnostics.

The freaky one comes to check up on him after lunch, and okay, they're all freaky, but this is the one with the green dreads and the really bad insults.

"How's it coming?" the guy says, and House sneers.

"Honestly, I've discovered my true calling as a can-can dancer, and I don't think I can sit around and read boring articles about the Philosopher's Stone anymore." He then makes an exaggerated sad-face, hoping they'll take the fucking hint and lets him go.

The guy laughs and runs a hand up House's arm. "I could make it worth your while." He's got a predatory smile on his face.

"Oh, please," House says. "You're not nearly hot enough."

And then he blinks, and it's Wilson standing in front of him, unnatural smirk on his face, because it's not one of his usual ones, not one that House knows. And then not-Wilson's kissing him, pushy, messy and nasty.

When not-Wilson pulls away, he raises an eyebrow in question.

"Nah," House says. "Real Wilson's a much better kisser."