Bound by Blood and Nothing Else.
So, after 5 minutes of trying to decide what to write, I'm just going to start writing, so bare with the incoherency. I want to got into the kitchen to get a drink but the stepmom is mopping the floors. Fuck. Friday I have to give my dad a progress report, so I know I'm completely fucked on that, and I'm probably getting my computer taken away for a while. Doesn't really matter anymore, because nothing really does to me. I honestly can say I'm tired of life. I haven't felt this way until now, but I can't fucking stand living right now. I haven't thought about suicide for like...over a year until last night. That depresses me completely that I would stoop so low and think about idiocies such as that. I actually can't remember the times I was really happy. I can't seem to find a time now, and to think just a while ago I thought I was happy. Guess things aren't what they seem. The people I grew up with and want to be with all live in California, so I can't see them and talk to them anymore which fucks it all up. Then I got school pounding the shit out of me because of tests, and stuff like that. Then I got my family constantly on my ass about school, chores, my music, my hair, my attitude, my responsibilites, me getting a job and a permit. All this shit at once takes a fucking tole. but they don't seem to care, because it's left and right with this shit that doesn't stop. And get this shit, for the past few nights when we eat at the table my Dad and step sister sit there and make fun of me in anyway they can. How fucked up can you be? I can't sit down to eat without being insulted anymore. Now, I know why teen suicide ratings are so fucking high is because of relentless bastards like them. First thing when my Dad walks threw the door is "did you get your work done?" not "hey Chris, how was your day?" or "Hey buddy, how's it going?" nothing like that. It's just straight-out convictions against me constantly. Fuck that. Fuck him. And fuck all there bullshit. So yeah, sorry. I need to go get started on the homework and get something to eat, im fucking starving. Take care...