(no subject)

[thedayisover]

i'm back from the NT
i was only there fleetingly, really
spent most of the time staring out the window of a falling apart bus
at the deserts
(there's so many different ones)
and now i know what they look like from the highway
how it feels to sleep in them
and i understand how people look and see vast earthen hostilities
nothing, nowhere, meaninglessness
but everything means something
unless you replace an entire language with a single lying word:
'desert'
or
'mine'

i also know what alcoholism looks like
and funnily enough, it wasn't Aboriginal people who showed me that
perhaps i should be quarantined?

i am full of words
i don't know if they are valid
or if they will be ordered right
if my experience can mean anything more than what it was
(not much)
if i can use it as a weapon to fight the filthy rich fuckers who mine this continent hollow for all-powerful poisons
or if it just further damns me
in my own mind, or others':
naive
city kid
uni student
useful idiot
ignorant dogmatic do-gooder

i will scrub these meaningful deserts from my skin but not my soul.