super junior | holiday drabbles and shortfic, part two
Archiving from my formspring.me~
Prompt: Fifteen cupcakes, two rubber hoses, a ball gag and the paparazzi. Have fun~
The ball gag is implied. As in, "Why are Heechul and Hankyung missing?" I'll give you three guesses.
They go to America one summer, all fifteen of them, and the company rents them two townhouses in suburbian Los Angeles, because it's cheaper than the city. Some hack up in management had one too much to drink one night at Lee Soo Man's birthday party and came up with the bizarre idea of a Super Junior in America mini-reality show, and since everyone else in management was also pretty plastered, somehow a lot of important paperwork got drawn up, checks were written, calls were made, and by the time they'd all come back to their senses, there was nothing left to do but get the guys to agree, and what sane Korean pop star *wouldn't* want to spend a summer in America?
So the project is announced, schedules are cleared, and somehow it all gets settled. Henry and Kibum are the sole translators because SM's too cheap to hire anyone else. And since Henry's going, it doesn't make any sense to leave Zhou Mi in Korea, so he comes along too. All the boys are quite excited about it, except Kibum, who couldn't be reached for comment.
This is the version of the story that Kyuhyun reads online their first night, as he's sipping American Coke from an American straw, listening to Zhou Mi watching and failing to comprehend American football. In the kitchen, Ryeowook, Sungmin, and Hyukjae are concocting something that sounds completely lethal but smells rather nice. Hankyung and Heechul are nowhere to be found, and Kibum and Henry are chaperoning Leeteuk, Yesung, and Siwon to a supermarket. Shindong, Kangin, and Donghae are outside attacking each other, their neighbors, and a horde of fangirl stalkers with hoses, water guns, and awful English. Most of the camera crew is outside. A camera's in the kitchen, and one cameraman tried to film Kyuhyun but gave up after he realized Kyuhyun hadn't actually moved in the past two minutes.
And that's when the telemarketer calls. Zhou Mi looks forlornly at the ringing phone. "I'm not getting that," he says. He looks at Kyuhyun.
Kyuhyun snorts. "I don't even pick up my own phone."
The phone rings a couple more times, and then the cameraman that gave up on Kyuhyun marches into the room, picks up the phone, turns on the speaker, and hands it to Zhou Mi. "Speak," he mouths, and returns to the camera.
Zhou Mi looks terrified. "Um," he says, "Hello-- I mean, HELLO?" It comes out sounding like "herro," and Kyuhyun nearly spits his drink.
"Hello!" says a very bright, very cheerful voice, in very precise English. Zhou Mi shoots Kyuhyun a look of pure panic. Sungmin and Hyukjae file in from the kitchen, probably called in by the rest of the camera crew. "Are your parents home?"
"Um," Zhou Mi says again, not understanding. "NO... THEY ARE... IN... CHINA."
There's a pause. The telemarketer says, "Well! Is there an adult in the house, or are you over 18?" Zhou Mi starts trying to communicate to the telemarketer that he has "TWO... PARENTS? EIGHTEEN... NO..." and that's when Sungmin loses it. He staggers over to the couch, giggling helplessly, lands on Zhou Mi, nearly knocks over his tea, and there is a very long moment of giggles and confusion and Zhou Mi trying to decide whether to chortle or speak more horrible English and Hyukjae squawking with laughter before Kyuhyun plucks the phone neatly out of Zhou Mi's fingers and says, in perfect English, "We are not interested. Goodbye." And then hangs up.
He surveys his heap of laughing, snickering bandmates and is about to roll his eyes when Ryeowook pokes his head into the living room.
"I made cupcakes!" he says brightly, totally oblivious, and Kyuhyun takes one look at the fifteen brightly frosted cupcakes, names spelled out on each with sprinkles, and isn't particularly surprised when he feels a warm, happy glow in his stomach before bursting out laughing.
(Later, the clip goes up on Youtube with the name "SJ in America - ZHOU MI FAILING AT ENGLISH," and Kyuhyun makes sure he leaves the very first comment.)
Prompt: What's your favourite icon of either Kyuhyun, Zhou Mi or both? Andd, fic based on icon? :)
This one. Apologies for boring.
The first time someone shows Zhou Mi the cover art for Super Junior M's first album, he wrinkles his nose and says, "Did they Photoshop my face?" He blinks. "And my waist?!"
Han Geng pats his arm. "You'll get used to it," he says.
Zhou Mi squints at the photo, lips pursed into a slight pout. "Maybe," he says. "But it's never going to stop being surreal."
Han Geng laughs. "I wouldn't bet on that." He squeezes Zhou Mi's shoulder, then gets up. "I have a meeting with management," he says. "Don't think about it so much." He leaves, and Zhou Mi starts frowning again, scrutinizing the photo. He turns it upside down, right side up, tries to reconcile the printed image with the reflections in the mirror he sees every morning.
"What is wrong with my face," he sighs aloud.
"Hyung," he hears Kyuhyun say, "nothing is wrong with your face." Zhou Mi looks up, startled. Kyuhyun's just walked into the room, eyes fixed on the PSP he borrowed from one of the managers.
Kyuhyun sighs and, pausing his game, plops down on a chair near Zhou Mi's. "Let me see that," he says, and Zhou Mi hands it over obediently. Kyuhyun takes one look at the cover and gives Zhou Mi his best 'hyung, you are a moron' expression. "They didn't do anything to you that they didn't do to us," he points out. "We have all been Gaussian-blurred and curved into oblivion." He returns the printout to him. "You'll get used to it. At least they didn't redraw half the skin on your face."
"Are you trying to comfort me," Zhou Mi says in wonder, and Kyuhyun rolls his eyes and unpauses his game. "Thank you," he says, and Kyuhyun gives him a noncommital shrug. He places a hand on Kyuhyun's shoulder, feels a little smug when Kyuhyun doesn't flinch. "You know," he says, conversationally, "they wouldn't need to redraw your skin if you just--"
"Don't even start," Kyuhyun grumbles.
Prompts: Heechul makes dumplings for Hankyung / Henry misses Canada
These are short, so I've stuck 'em together under one cut.
1.
"Well?" Heechul demands."Kyungie, say something."
Hankyung swallows, face a stone mask. He looks at Heechul, then at the plate of dumplings, then back up at Heechul.
He sighs.
"I'll boil some water for the ramen."
2.
He gets lost on the subway one day, and then again the next while searching for a stationery shop. It was only supposed to be a few blocks away from the dorms, but apparently he'd made a few turns a little late or a little early or maybe not at all, and now he's stuck at the corner of Hangul-y blobs and more Hangul-y blobs with no cell phone, enough money to buy him letterhead, and a brain full of all the wrong languages.
Everyone around him looks plastic, and as much as high school was kind of a drag and spent mostly getting straight B's and in rehearsal rooms with his violin, he kind of wishes, fleetingly, that he could go back.
He heaves a sigh, squares his shoulders, and heads into a convenience store, hoping to hell that whoever's manning the register knows where SM Entertainment's offices are and, if he's really lucky, is familiar with the fine, time-worn language of Wild Gesticulation.
Prompt: QMi play tennis 8D
THIS IS A TOTAL COPOUT FIC but if it makes you feel any better I was already writing a QMi --> Seigaku crossover? (It probably doesn't. You probably aren't even in PoT fandom. SIGH. Prompt me again if you feel cheated and want real tennis, though be warned that despite THREE YEARS' PRINCE OF TENNIS FANDOM EXPERIENCE I know this much about real tennis: 0)
"You had height advantage," Kyuhyun accuses.
Zhou Mi has the gall to look bewildered. "By an inch and a half?"
They are sitting on a bench by the tennis courts at the local gym, sulking. Well, Kyuhyun is sitting and sulking. Zhou Mi is hovering anxiously above him, probably wondering if he should've thrown the game, not that he would've had any knowledge of how to do that. They had both pretty much been patently awful and Zhou Mi only won because he'd served first and failed less at doing it.
Kyuhyun sighs. "Okay," he says, standing and looping his arm through Zhou Mi's. "I forgive you."
"Maybe we should just stick to singing and dancing," Zhou Mi says, handing Kyuhyun his bag and picking up his own.
"No," Kyuhyun replies cheerfully. He shoulders his bag, a wicked glint in his eye. "I'll do that. I think /you/ should just stick to singing."
Zhou Mi socks him in the shoulder.
Prompt: Astrology, surrealism, potstickers, fan wank
Because watching SJ play charades is like watching NTs play word association. "Orange!" "Volcanoes!" "Caboose!" "The Born-Haber Cycle!" "CORN."
Also, don't lie, you want Super Junior M on Intimate Note as much as I do.
Kyuhyun points up at the sky, draws nine circles in the air, mimes someone reading a newspaper, facepalms, and then strikes an archery pose.
"What the fuck," says Hankyung's expression.
Zhou Mi's staring and trying not to laugh. "Superheroes!" he says, and Kyuhyun shakes his head, frustrated, and pretends to be a crab. "Hunting? College students? Crop circles! Druids? Korean dramas? Finals week!"
Siwon's eyebrows are doing something spectacular off-camera and Kyuhyun groans, then points at himself, nods, hops to the right, points at himself again, and holds up two fingers.
"Good grief," Kim Gura says, "you guys are awful at this."
"ASTROLOGY," Zhou Mi crows.
"Finally," Kyuhyun gripes, and everyone, including the camerapeople, does an enormous double-take. Henry is curled up on himself on the ground, gasping with laughter, and from where Kyuhyun's standing it doesn't look like Hankyung can breathe. Kim Gura has a "what in the hell just happened" expression plastered across his face, Ryeowook is spaced-out, Siwon is practically crying into Hankyung’s shoulder, and Donghae is grinning madly.
They switch places and Zhou Mi grins at the prompt before crossing his eyes, puffing out his cheeks, pointing his right hand skywards and his left hand towards the ground.
"An Egyptian wall-painting," Kyuhyun says immediately, and Donghae nearly dies laughing somewhere behind him.
Zhou Mi shakes his head, thinks for a moment, and then crosses his arms and glares at Kyuhyun, looking him straight in the eye.
Kyuhyun blinks rapidly, considers the scene before him, and then snaps his fingers. "I got it," he says. "Surreal." Zhou Mi claps his hands, laughing.
"HOW DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE," Kim Gura wails.
Kyuhyun bites his lip for a second at the next prompt. He mimes peeling off a dumpling skin, ladling meat out of a giant pot, rolling the dumpling together, frying it, and then, finally, popping it into his mouth.
"Lunch!" Zhou Mi says, and Kyuhyun fixes him with the most vicious glare he can possibly muster. Zhou Mi wilts and then says, "Potstickers?"
Cheers from everyone. "Hey Kyuhyun," Hankyung calls out, "you should help me make dumplings next time, looks like you'd be good at it!"
"I’m busy," Kyuhyun says, watching as Zhou Mi frowns at the next prompt. It catches his attention because it's not an "oh, crap, we're out of passes and I'm supposed to mime a Korean proverb I don’t even understand" frown, but a sad Zhou Mi frown and something tugs vaguely at Kyuhyun's heartstrings.
A burning well of realization curls in his gut when Zhou Mi draws a pointy isosceles triangle above his head, mimes fitting something over his ears, and then sits down and pretends to sew.
"Elves," he says quietly, and Zhou Mi grins and gives him a thumbs up and it's all Kyuhyun can do not to jump up and give him a hug as they’re switching places. He settles for a manly pat on the shoulder, and, as he prepares to act out "after three years at a village schoolhouse, even a dog can recite a poem," which Zhou Mi is probably going to respond to with something like "caramel apples" or "Plexiglas," he sees Ryeowook hanging off Zhou Mi's back, Donghae's hand on Zhou Mi's arm, and just grins stupidly instead.
"Lobotomy?" Zhou Mi asks.
Prompt: Fifteen cupcakes, two rubber hoses, a ball gag and the paparazzi. Have fun~
The ball gag is implied. As in, "Why are Heechul and Hankyung missing?" I'll give you three guesses.
They go to America one summer, all fifteen of them, and the company rents them two townhouses in suburbian Los Angeles, because it's cheaper than the city. Some hack up in management had one too much to drink one night at Lee Soo Man's birthday party and came up with the bizarre idea of a Super Junior in America mini-reality show, and since everyone else in management was also pretty plastered, somehow a lot of important paperwork got drawn up, checks were written, calls were made, and by the time they'd all come back to their senses, there was nothing left to do but get the guys to agree, and what sane Korean pop star *wouldn't* want to spend a summer in America?
So the project is announced, schedules are cleared, and somehow it all gets settled. Henry and Kibum are the sole translators because SM's too cheap to hire anyone else. And since Henry's going, it doesn't make any sense to leave Zhou Mi in Korea, so he comes along too. All the boys are quite excited about it, except Kibum, who couldn't be reached for comment.
This is the version of the story that Kyuhyun reads online their first night, as he's sipping American Coke from an American straw, listening to Zhou Mi watching and failing to comprehend American football. In the kitchen, Ryeowook, Sungmin, and Hyukjae are concocting something that sounds completely lethal but smells rather nice. Hankyung and Heechul are nowhere to be found, and Kibum and Henry are chaperoning Leeteuk, Yesung, and Siwon to a supermarket. Shindong, Kangin, and Donghae are outside attacking each other, their neighbors, and a horde of fangirl stalkers with hoses, water guns, and awful English. Most of the camera crew is outside. A camera's in the kitchen, and one cameraman tried to film Kyuhyun but gave up after he realized Kyuhyun hadn't actually moved in the past two minutes.
And that's when the telemarketer calls. Zhou Mi looks forlornly at the ringing phone. "I'm not getting that," he says. He looks at Kyuhyun.
Kyuhyun snorts. "I don't even pick up my own phone."
The phone rings a couple more times, and then the cameraman that gave up on Kyuhyun marches into the room, picks up the phone, turns on the speaker, and hands it to Zhou Mi. "Speak," he mouths, and returns to the camera.
Zhou Mi looks terrified. "Um," he says, "Hello-- I mean, HELLO?" It comes out sounding like "herro," and Kyuhyun nearly spits his drink.
"Hello!" says a very bright, very cheerful voice, in very precise English. Zhou Mi shoots Kyuhyun a look of pure panic. Sungmin and Hyukjae file in from the kitchen, probably called in by the rest of the camera crew. "Are your parents home?"
"Um," Zhou Mi says again, not understanding. "NO... THEY ARE... IN... CHINA."
There's a pause. The telemarketer says, "Well! Is there an adult in the house, or are you over 18?" Zhou Mi starts trying to communicate to the telemarketer that he has "TWO... PARENTS? EIGHTEEN... NO..." and that's when Sungmin loses it. He staggers over to the couch, giggling helplessly, lands on Zhou Mi, nearly knocks over his tea, and there is a very long moment of giggles and confusion and Zhou Mi trying to decide whether to chortle or speak more horrible English and Hyukjae squawking with laughter before Kyuhyun plucks the phone neatly out of Zhou Mi's fingers and says, in perfect English, "We are not interested. Goodbye." And then hangs up.
He surveys his heap of laughing, snickering bandmates and is about to roll his eyes when Ryeowook pokes his head into the living room.
"I made cupcakes!" he says brightly, totally oblivious, and Kyuhyun takes one look at the fifteen brightly frosted cupcakes, names spelled out on each with sprinkles, and isn't particularly surprised when he feels a warm, happy glow in his stomach before bursting out laughing.
(Later, the clip goes up on Youtube with the name "SJ in America - ZHOU MI FAILING AT ENGLISH," and Kyuhyun makes sure he leaves the very first comment.)
Prompt: What's your favourite icon of either Kyuhyun, Zhou Mi or both? Andd, fic based on icon? :)
This one. Apologies for boring.
The first time someone shows Zhou Mi the cover art for Super Junior M's first album, he wrinkles his nose and says, "Did they Photoshop my face?" He blinks. "And my waist?!"
Han Geng pats his arm. "You'll get used to it," he says.
Zhou Mi squints at the photo, lips pursed into a slight pout. "Maybe," he says. "But it's never going to stop being surreal."
Han Geng laughs. "I wouldn't bet on that." He squeezes Zhou Mi's shoulder, then gets up. "I have a meeting with management," he says. "Don't think about it so much." He leaves, and Zhou Mi starts frowning again, scrutinizing the photo. He turns it upside down, right side up, tries to reconcile the printed image with the reflections in the mirror he sees every morning.
"What is wrong with my face," he sighs aloud.
"Hyung," he hears Kyuhyun say, "nothing is wrong with your face." Zhou Mi looks up, startled. Kyuhyun's just walked into the room, eyes fixed on the PSP he borrowed from one of the managers.
Kyuhyun sighs and, pausing his game, plops down on a chair near Zhou Mi's. "Let me see that," he says, and Zhou Mi hands it over obediently. Kyuhyun takes one look at the cover and gives Zhou Mi his best 'hyung, you are a moron' expression. "They didn't do anything to you that they didn't do to us," he points out. "We have all been Gaussian-blurred and curved into oblivion." He returns the printout to him. "You'll get used to it. At least they didn't redraw half the skin on your face."
"Are you trying to comfort me," Zhou Mi says in wonder, and Kyuhyun rolls his eyes and unpauses his game. "Thank you," he says, and Kyuhyun gives him a noncommital shrug. He places a hand on Kyuhyun's shoulder, feels a little smug when Kyuhyun doesn't flinch. "You know," he says, conversationally, "they wouldn't need to redraw your skin if you just--"
"Don't even start," Kyuhyun grumbles.
Prompts: Heechul makes dumplings for Hankyung / Henry misses Canada
These are short, so I've stuck 'em together under one cut.
1.
"Well?" Heechul demands."Kyungie, say something."
Hankyung swallows, face a stone mask. He looks at Heechul, then at the plate of dumplings, then back up at Heechul.
He sighs.
"I'll boil some water for the ramen."
2.
He gets lost on the subway one day, and then again the next while searching for a stationery shop. It was only supposed to be a few blocks away from the dorms, but apparently he'd made a few turns a little late or a little early or maybe not at all, and now he's stuck at the corner of Hangul-y blobs and more Hangul-y blobs with no cell phone, enough money to buy him letterhead, and a brain full of all the wrong languages.
Everyone around him looks plastic, and as much as high school was kind of a drag and spent mostly getting straight B's and in rehearsal rooms with his violin, he kind of wishes, fleetingly, that he could go back.
He heaves a sigh, squares his shoulders, and heads into a convenience store, hoping to hell that whoever's manning the register knows where SM Entertainment's offices are and, if he's really lucky, is familiar with the fine, time-worn language of Wild Gesticulation.
Prompt: QMi play tennis 8D
THIS IS A TOTAL COPOUT FIC but if it makes you feel any better I was already writing a QMi --> Seigaku crossover? (It probably doesn't. You probably aren't even in PoT fandom. SIGH. Prompt me again if you feel cheated and want real tennis, though be warned that despite THREE YEARS' PRINCE OF TENNIS FANDOM EXPERIENCE I know this much about real tennis: 0)
"You had height advantage," Kyuhyun accuses.
Zhou Mi has the gall to look bewildered. "By an inch and a half?"
They are sitting on a bench by the tennis courts at the local gym, sulking. Well, Kyuhyun is sitting and sulking. Zhou Mi is hovering anxiously above him, probably wondering if he should've thrown the game, not that he would've had any knowledge of how to do that. They had both pretty much been patently awful and Zhou Mi only won because he'd served first and failed less at doing it.
Kyuhyun sighs. "Okay," he says, standing and looping his arm through Zhou Mi's. "I forgive you."
"Maybe we should just stick to singing and dancing," Zhou Mi says, handing Kyuhyun his bag and picking up his own.
"No," Kyuhyun replies cheerfully. He shoulders his bag, a wicked glint in his eye. "I'll do that. I think /you/ should just stick to singing."
Zhou Mi socks him in the shoulder.
Prompt: Astrology, surrealism, potstickers, fan wank
Because watching SJ play charades is like watching NTs play word association. "Orange!" "Volcanoes!" "Caboose!" "The Born-Haber Cycle!" "CORN."
Also, don't lie, you want Super Junior M on Intimate Note as much as I do.
Kyuhyun points up at the sky, draws nine circles in the air, mimes someone reading a newspaper, facepalms, and then strikes an archery pose.
"What the fuck," says Hankyung's expression.
Zhou Mi's staring and trying not to laugh. "Superheroes!" he says, and Kyuhyun shakes his head, frustrated, and pretends to be a crab. "Hunting? College students? Crop circles! Druids? Korean dramas? Finals week!"
Siwon's eyebrows are doing something spectacular off-camera and Kyuhyun groans, then points at himself, nods, hops to the right, points at himself again, and holds up two fingers.
"Good grief," Kim Gura says, "you guys are awful at this."
"ASTROLOGY," Zhou Mi crows.
"Finally," Kyuhyun gripes, and everyone, including the camerapeople, does an enormous double-take. Henry is curled up on himself on the ground, gasping with laughter, and from where Kyuhyun's standing it doesn't look like Hankyung can breathe. Kim Gura has a "what in the hell just happened" expression plastered across his face, Ryeowook is spaced-out, Siwon is practically crying into Hankyung’s shoulder, and Donghae is grinning madly.
They switch places and Zhou Mi grins at the prompt before crossing his eyes, puffing out his cheeks, pointing his right hand skywards and his left hand towards the ground.
"An Egyptian wall-painting," Kyuhyun says immediately, and Donghae nearly dies laughing somewhere behind him.
Zhou Mi shakes his head, thinks for a moment, and then crosses his arms and glares at Kyuhyun, looking him straight in the eye.
Kyuhyun blinks rapidly, considers the scene before him, and then snaps his fingers. "I got it," he says. "Surreal." Zhou Mi claps his hands, laughing.
"HOW DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE," Kim Gura wails.
Kyuhyun bites his lip for a second at the next prompt. He mimes peeling off a dumpling skin, ladling meat out of a giant pot, rolling the dumpling together, frying it, and then, finally, popping it into his mouth.
"Lunch!" Zhou Mi says, and Kyuhyun fixes him with the most vicious glare he can possibly muster. Zhou Mi wilts and then says, "Potstickers?"
Cheers from everyone. "Hey Kyuhyun," Hankyung calls out, "you should help me make dumplings next time, looks like you'd be good at it!"
"I’m busy," Kyuhyun says, watching as Zhou Mi frowns at the next prompt. It catches his attention because it's not an "oh, crap, we're out of passes and I'm supposed to mime a Korean proverb I don’t even understand" frown, but a sad Zhou Mi frown and something tugs vaguely at Kyuhyun's heartstrings.
A burning well of realization curls in his gut when Zhou Mi draws a pointy isosceles triangle above his head, mimes fitting something over his ears, and then sits down and pretends to sew.
"Elves," he says quietly, and Zhou Mi grins and gives him a thumbs up and it's all Kyuhyun can do not to jump up and give him a hug as they’re switching places. He settles for a manly pat on the shoulder, and, as he prepares to act out "after three years at a village schoolhouse, even a dog can recite a poem," which Zhou Mi is probably going to respond to with something like "caramel apples" or "Plexiglas," he sees Ryeowook hanging off Zhou Mi's back, Donghae's hand on Zhou Mi's arm, and just grins stupidly instead.
"Lobotomy?" Zhou Mi asks.