Event: Face Your Fears: Failed
Hawke kicks at a small piece of stone. It's not a random rock, but a bit of wreckage, fallen from the roof of a building.
She'd known this day would come eventually. They'd tried not to tell her, Ella and Aderyn and the others who'd lived through it, but secrets don't stay secret in Kirkwall. She'd hoped the strange doubles and her own foreknowledge would keep the future from happening.
But no. Sometimes there is nothing you can do. Hawke learned that years ago when her father died, and she's spent all the years since fighting against it. It's why she's never allowed to stop, even if she knows her own fight won't change things. That's her curse: sometimes there is nothing you can do, but she has to try and do it anyway.
She hadn't realized how big the explosion would be, how many would be dead. It wasn't just the Chantry itself. The building had exploded outwards, damaging all the nearby houses, mortar and stone raining from the sky all over Hightown, crushing other buildings and people in the street. The screams were everywhere, and there was still a faint haze of stone-dust in the air. It tickled the back of her throat until she wanted to cough. Or scream. She hadn't been injured by anything, not physically, but she rather thought she could produce a scream to match any of the ones echoing in her ears.
Worst of all, underlying, was the horrible, horrible awareness: This isn't your fault, but you were the catalyst. You went to the Deep Roads, found the idol, brought it back to Meredith. You protected Anders, loved him, helped him, even when you knew he would go too far. You fanned the flames in a hundred small ways, just by being the wrong person at the wrong time. If you hadn't come here, all this might still be standing. Champion.
Hawke bends down and picks up the small piece of rubble, fingering it. Then she stands and throws it into the fire. Sometimes there is nothing you can do.
"Teo, come," she says quietly, and walks out of Kirkwall, her dog at her side, not checking to see if anyone will follow.
She'd known this day would come eventually. They'd tried not to tell her, Ella and Aderyn and the others who'd lived through it, but secrets don't stay secret in Kirkwall. She'd hoped the strange doubles and her own foreknowledge would keep the future from happening.
But no. Sometimes there is nothing you can do. Hawke learned that years ago when her father died, and she's spent all the years since fighting against it. It's why she's never allowed to stop, even if she knows her own fight won't change things. That's her curse: sometimes there is nothing you can do, but she has to try and do it anyway.
She hadn't realized how big the explosion would be, how many would be dead. It wasn't just the Chantry itself. The building had exploded outwards, damaging all the nearby houses, mortar and stone raining from the sky all over Hightown, crushing other buildings and people in the street. The screams were everywhere, and there was still a faint haze of stone-dust in the air. It tickled the back of her throat until she wanted to cough. Or scream. She hadn't been injured by anything, not physically, but she rather thought she could produce a scream to match any of the ones echoing in her ears.
Worst of all, underlying, was the horrible, horrible awareness: This isn't your fault, but you were the catalyst. You went to the Deep Roads, found the idol, brought it back to Meredith. You protected Anders, loved him, helped him, even when you knew he would go too far. You fanned the flames in a hundred small ways, just by being the wrong person at the wrong time. If you hadn't come here, all this might still be standing. Champion.
Hawke bends down and picks up the small piece of rubble, fingering it. Then she stands and throws it into the fire. Sometimes there is nothing you can do.
"Teo, come," she says quietly, and walks out of Kirkwall, her dog at her side, not checking to see if anyone will follow.