(no subject)
I remember why I broke up with Amber, I finally remember. Forever I have forgotten bt tonight memories poured into my head. I think I blocked them all out.
But I remember one very important. I remember EXACTLY why I fell from God when I went to washington, and I realize it is my greatest weakness and the SOLE cause of all my spiritual blunders.
I remember a man thanking me for praying for him because he felt such intense power from me.
I remember feeling God
A few nights ago God actually answered a prayer for me...within 5 mins of me praying it.
My dejavus are becoming so vivid it's scary. Right now I am Where I am, who I am, and with what I have for a predestined purpose.
And now at 3 in the morning I am going to finally pray for something important. At place half an hour away. in the cold.
Alaina im having revelations about my self and your not online to talk about with me....shame on you.
and now notes from my past LJ entries
You can slay the beast only to be bathed in its vile blood.
Tainted by its own sin u become no better than the beast.
Hope for the blind that wish to see the world in its reality.
But for those that only see into their own mind may it be as a curse.
Bound to the soul in a denile most futile, to only see the world in its own description.
Take peace my brothers, those who turn their eyes to the heavens, may it be a cry of holy justice.
Knowing full well the world of our birth, you stand in righteousness.
May God be
"Life is a journey, it doesent make sense to stop right in the middle of it."
Apparently sin can be forgiven but man will never allow it to be forgotten.
I've found out all girls are stupid, and one day i'll have a stupid girl to call my own.
"I will stand in full knowlege of my sins. But I will stand knowing I have found redemption."
I mourn for my past, But not only in repentance. I mourn in remembrance, finally understanding what I had and then lost. Seeing through a young mind so clouded, so lost. Realizing true potentional not yet realized. Knowing that to soon paths did cross.
From that situation so long ago I finally realize what I miss. The knowledge I gain now to use to fill the void in my heart. Energy, determination, love, kindness, hope. These things I need pale in comparison to the one thing that will grant my hearts disire. -Patience-
Patience, the key to the gateway of time, Through it all dreams possible. Patience, allowing all barracades to fall, giving way to the time when old paths cross anew. If a man masters patience, he masters his destiny.
But to true do I realize that old paths have already been traveled. An old path is never made new and an old path opens...old wounds. Old paths serve us to find...new paths. A new path not tred upon, a new path filled with wonders an old path could never realize! Why long for an old feeling? I Long for new feelings birthed in fruits of gained wisdom. New feelings that will give way to passions never attainable through past follishness.
The harsh fires of our past temper our souls and purify our hearts. Why long for the mistakes of our past? When we can long for the possibilities of our future.
"I can see through the shroud, that life has spun by the ways of man. Tis the knowlege, To know that what Is...cannot, And what cannot be...shall always exist as an eternal torment. "
A man once said to his son that he had two wolves in his head batteling for his heart. A dark wolf and a white wolf. His son asked him which one would win...the man answered...?Which ever one I feed"
Feel week fighting the darkness all alone??? Feed the good in your heart and you won't have too.
But I remember one very important. I remember EXACTLY why I fell from God when I went to washington, and I realize it is my greatest weakness and the SOLE cause of all my spiritual blunders.
I remember a man thanking me for praying for him because he felt such intense power from me.
I remember feeling God
A few nights ago God actually answered a prayer for me...within 5 mins of me praying it.
My dejavus are becoming so vivid it's scary. Right now I am Where I am, who I am, and with what I have for a predestined purpose.
And now at 3 in the morning I am going to finally pray for something important. At place half an hour away. in the cold.
Alaina im having revelations about my self and your not online to talk about with me....shame on you.
and now notes from my past LJ entries
You can slay the beast only to be bathed in its vile blood.
Tainted by its own sin u become no better than the beast.
Hope for the blind that wish to see the world in its reality.
But for those that only see into their own mind may it be as a curse.
Bound to the soul in a denile most futile, to only see the world in its own description.
Take peace my brothers, those who turn their eyes to the heavens, may it be a cry of holy justice.
Knowing full well the world of our birth, you stand in righteousness.
May God be
"Life is a journey, it doesent make sense to stop right in the middle of it."
Apparently sin can be forgiven but man will never allow it to be forgotten.
I've found out all girls are stupid, and one day i'll have a stupid girl to call my own.
"I will stand in full knowlege of my sins. But I will stand knowing I have found redemption."
I mourn for my past, But not only in repentance. I mourn in remembrance, finally understanding what I had and then lost. Seeing through a young mind so clouded, so lost. Realizing true potentional not yet realized. Knowing that to soon paths did cross.
From that situation so long ago I finally realize what I miss. The knowledge I gain now to use to fill the void in my heart. Energy, determination, love, kindness, hope. These things I need pale in comparison to the one thing that will grant my hearts disire. -Patience-
Patience, the key to the gateway of time, Through it all dreams possible. Patience, allowing all barracades to fall, giving way to the time when old paths cross anew. If a man masters patience, he masters his destiny.
But to true do I realize that old paths have already been traveled. An old path is never made new and an old path opens...old wounds. Old paths serve us to find...new paths. A new path not tred upon, a new path filled with wonders an old path could never realize! Why long for an old feeling? I Long for new feelings birthed in fruits of gained wisdom. New feelings that will give way to passions never attainable through past follishness.
The harsh fires of our past temper our souls and purify our hearts. Why long for the mistakes of our past? When we can long for the possibilities of our future.
"I can see through the shroud, that life has spun by the ways of man. Tis the knowlege, To know that what Is...cannot, And what cannot be...shall always exist as an eternal torment. "
A man once said to his son that he had two wolves in his head batteling for his heart. A dark wolf and a white wolf. His son asked him which one would win...the man answered...?Which ever one I feed"
Feel week fighting the darkness all alone??? Feed the good in your heart and you won't have too.