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Ughh..I know it's been a few days..but nothing has really happend.
Today kind of sucked. School was boring and Mass was long. There's too much drama at school. I can't take it anymore..I really don't even want to get into that.
Coming home is just even more super! Oh yes. Well tonight I was supposed to go to the basket ball game for the guys or whatever but NO OF COURSE NOT. When I got home I found out that I was going to babysit! Courtney was going to the movies, Caitlyn was going out with her friends, and my parents were like at my uncles decorating his house in rose peddles cuz he proposed to his girlfriend..whoo hoo..a new obnoxious aunt!
Things have pretty much sucked..a lot..lately. I feel so selfish saying that knowing things could be a lot worse...but its like I never feel good..or happy. I know it might seem like I'm happy sometimes but I'm really not. I just fake a smile and everythings "o.k" again. It's getting harder to do that though. I'm not so sure how long I can keep this up. I'm sick of lying to people. Especially my friends. I hate having to. But I can't tell them everything because usually..I only talk to people about shit at school. And I really dont want to start crying or screaming at school. Not good. Oh well..I guess I'll just have to try harder.
I think I'm starting to hate myself a little more everyday. I know what your thinking "omg ali dont say that about yourself! you should love yourself!" ...well actually its not that easy for me. When I look into the mirror, all I see is shit. A worthless, ugly, stupid, fat girl. Everyday I lose more self confidence. There's really not much left though. Ha..here I am talking about how fat I am..when I'm eating..fast food. WOW. Good job Ali.
Everyone in this house pisses me off. I cant stand them..but I really dont want to talk about them....
And I dont want to talk about any of this anymore.
Comment if you want..
Today kind of sucked. School was boring and Mass was long. There's too much drama at school. I can't take it anymore..I really don't even want to get into that.
Coming home is just even more super! Oh yes. Well tonight I was supposed to go to the basket ball game for the guys or whatever but NO OF COURSE NOT. When I got home I found out that I was going to babysit! Courtney was going to the movies, Caitlyn was going out with her friends, and my parents were like at my uncles decorating his house in rose peddles cuz he proposed to his girlfriend..whoo hoo..a new obnoxious aunt!
Things have pretty much sucked..a lot..lately. I feel so selfish saying that knowing things could be a lot worse...but its like I never feel good..or happy. I know it might seem like I'm happy sometimes but I'm really not. I just fake a smile and everythings "o.k" again. It's getting harder to do that though. I'm not so sure how long I can keep this up. I'm sick of lying to people. Especially my friends. I hate having to. But I can't tell them everything because usually..I only talk to people about shit at school. And I really dont want to start crying or screaming at school. Not good. Oh well..I guess I'll just have to try harder.
I think I'm starting to hate myself a little more everyday. I know what your thinking "omg ali dont say that about yourself! you should love yourself!" ...well actually its not that easy for me. When I look into the mirror, all I see is shit. A worthless, ugly, stupid, fat girl. Everyday I lose more self confidence. There's really not much left though. Ha..here I am talking about how fat I am..when I'm eating..fast food. WOW. Good job Ali.
Everyone in this house pisses me off. I cant stand them..but I really dont want to talk about them....
And I dont want to talk about any of this anymore.
Comment if you want..