I Quit.
I have found, through two communities, that the internet is not a safe place to find support, nor is it a smart place to look for intelligence. While there are a few smart people here and there, the vast majority of the internet appears to be made up of insecure, mentally ill individuals who are severely socially starved. I've come to realize that for a lot of these people, going on the internet if the big part of their day. They don't contribute to anything larger or do anything better with their lives. Meanwhile, they nitpick on others and accuse them of doing exactly the same; in other words, they are projecting themselves on others because of their low self-esteems.
I am not going to try to network with the transgender community on the internet any longer. I've made a very clear distinction. The people on the internet argue with me, start crap with me, insult me, etc, while people I meet in person respect me, even when they disagree. I am finding two major factors apply here: 1. People on the internet have no balls. They say things online that they would never say in person. 2. Some people on the internet use the internet as their primary means of socialization. They have a problem, an addiction, and several mental illnesses.
I am finding that people I meet in person have their shit much more together. They have lives. They don't spend their time arguing with strangers over nothing. People I meet on the internet are usually outrageously aggressive, and have serious ego issues. This is why I've decided that I will no longer interact with transsexuals on the internet. I find that transgender forums have more bitching and arguing on them than any other kind of forum I have seen in 10 years. I get called transphobic when I say this, but I believe that this bitching and arguing has an explanation; transsexuals, when grouped together, are more bitchy than any other group. That is my observation. I also have theories as to why this is the case. I get called all sorts of nasty names when I talk about these theories. One such theory is that I have observed many transsexuals have very low self-esteems. Having a low self-esteem can make a person fairly aggressive, vain, egotistical, narcissistic, etc. Trangender people have a lot of valid reasons to have low self-esteems. So I think it is very likely that a lot of the cat fights going on in these groups has a lot to do with people not following through with their therapy properly.
Therapy is required in order to transition. 3 months of it. That isn't nearly enough, and a lot of transsexuals stop once they've reached the minimum. There's a reason why therapy is recommended. Most of these people are in desperate need of it. The 3 months, in most cases, is too lenient. In some cases, it's too much. This is why I think standards should be made on a case-by-case basis. But I digress: a lot of these people have many unsolved psychological issues. They take it out on others, often projecting. I had people telling me that I was the one who needed therapy and that I was the one with ego issues. While I do know I have some ego issues (we all do), and I also know I could benefit from more therapy, I am fairly certain that they are not as stable as they think they are. After all, all of the arguments that took place within these groups were not started by me, but by other members, who approached me with hosilitiy. I do not deny for one second that after the first 3 or 4 times I was approached with hostility that I started to fight back, and took a passive-aggressive approach in responding to these individuals, eventually leading to downright cussing them out. But I was provoked first. That does not for one second excuse my behavior, but it does explain the reality of the situation: they attacked me first, unprovoked.
If you are not the kind of person who bends over backwards when someone tells you they don't like something, if you are the kind of person who stands your ground when you believe something, if you are the kind of person who says what you mean and mean what you say, exactly what you say, then these groups are not for you. They have a way of twisting your words, misinterpreting them, sticking with their misrepresentation and then demanding you publicly apologize and eat your words, and if you haven't completely shoved your fist up your own ass, they remain unsatisfied and will never let you forget it, even if you end up figuratively fisting yourself later. Because you didn't do what they exactly wanted you to do at exactly the moment they asked for it, you're fucked for life. There is no redeeming your reputation from this small mistake. Also, even if you do the "right thing," (exactly what they want you to do), they remain unsatisfied. This brings to question if they really ever wanted anything from you in the first place, and that they'd much rather continue arguing with you now that they're unhappy, despite the fact that you have done everything in your power to correct your innocent mistake. In other words, these people are very stubborn and even if they're wrong, they're right.
I highly recommend only socializing with transsexuals in person. That way, if they start shit, you can knock their teeth out. Chances are more likely, however, that they won't start shit. People tend to have tact in person, at least enough so that if you make a mistake, they'll politely correct you and give you a chance to redeem yourself, instead of losing their minds and throwing massive temper tantrums.
I have been accused of being transphobic because I used three words: "hermaphrodite," "he-she," and "normal." I do not think using a word makes someone transphobic, but how they use it, the context in which the word is used, and the intention of using that word. But it might be safe to say after the experiences I've had with these morons, if I wasn't transphobic yesterday I definitely am now. Transphobic in terms of talking to tranny morons on the internet. If hating a transsexual because they're a moron makes me transphobic, if thinking a transsexual throwing a massive tantrum because I used a certain word is stupid makes me transphobic, if disagreeing with a transsexual who poses a completely irrational argument makes me transphobic, I am the biggest, nastiest bigot who ever lived. I make Hitler look like a real pussy.
I have never had problems with transsexuals in person. Maybe I'm a really good actor. Maybe I'm really good at hiding my deep-seeded hatred for transsexuals. It only makes sense that I'd be transphobic, because I clearly hate myself so much.
Anyone else realize how stupid those accusations sound? It's because they truly are stupid, invalid, and completely untrue. I am not transphobic unless the defintion of transphobia has drastically changed. Last I was aware, transphobia refers to either people who are afriad of transsexuals (I'm not) or people who hate transsexuals (I don't hate them because they're trans, but I do hate many transsexuals because of their behavior).
I find that my annoyance with transsexuals isn't accross the board. I tend to most often have trouble with young female-to-male transsexuals who are pre-op. Usually the guys who just recently got on hormones and are totally hot-headed and full of themselves. I find that older FTMs, and most MTFs regardless of their age or point in transition, are far more respectful and easier to talk to. I find that the only transsexuals who start shit with me are the young FTMs. I have run into a couple of so-called MTFs who act very much like egotistical teenage boys.
I am starting to find that a lot of my community is really nasty, and I'm ashamed to be a part of it. It's no wonder we have a hard time reaching equal rights. Our notorious reputation as a community is not entirely innaccurate. While there are many decent, caring, respectable, intelligent transsexuals, the majority of us need a lot of work. The majority of transsexuals I meet on the internet have nasty attitudes and a serious lack of self-discipline. Oddly enough, the transsexuals I meet in person tend to be the complete opposite of the transsexuals I meet online. I have run into one self-righteous transsexual in person, and even he can come around and say, "You know, I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry." Even he doesn't intentionally start shit with people. He just has no tact.
So that's it. I know what the internet trannies would say. They'd say I'm making blanket statements and that everybody's different and that I'm transphobic and that I have no right to judge them and that I'm stupid and that I whine too much and that I'm the one with the ego problem and that I'm the one who needs therapy and that I'm the one who's wrong, bad, and evil. And then they'd also say, that I'd say, "WRY R U GUYS SOOOO MEAN." Because they like to troll, too.
Frankly, I have completely lost respect for transsexuals on the internet, and it is their responsibility to prove that they deserve to be respected.
I have never liked the notion that "respect is earned." I believe everyone deserves respect, as long as possible, to the best of my ability, even after they have disrespected me. Disrespecting them back doesn't solve anything. But now I make an exception. I will not respect the opinions of people who flame me. I will not listen to them. If you somehow prove (or have already shown, you know who you are) that you are not a total dipshit, I will treat you like everybody else.
I know they're happy that I'm gone. I know they're celebrating and throwing a party. Well, so am I. I am so glad I don't have to deal with their idiocy anymore. Usually I'd say, "If it looks like everybody else is the problem, you should look at yourself," but in this case, I know I'm not the problem.
I am not going to try to network with the transgender community on the internet any longer. I've made a very clear distinction. The people on the internet argue with me, start crap with me, insult me, etc, while people I meet in person respect me, even when they disagree. I am finding two major factors apply here: 1. People on the internet have no balls. They say things online that they would never say in person. 2. Some people on the internet use the internet as their primary means of socialization. They have a problem, an addiction, and several mental illnesses.
I am finding that people I meet in person have their shit much more together. They have lives. They don't spend their time arguing with strangers over nothing. People I meet on the internet are usually outrageously aggressive, and have serious ego issues. This is why I've decided that I will no longer interact with transsexuals on the internet. I find that transgender forums have more bitching and arguing on them than any other kind of forum I have seen in 10 years. I get called transphobic when I say this, but I believe that this bitching and arguing has an explanation; transsexuals, when grouped together, are more bitchy than any other group. That is my observation. I also have theories as to why this is the case. I get called all sorts of nasty names when I talk about these theories. One such theory is that I have observed many transsexuals have very low self-esteems. Having a low self-esteem can make a person fairly aggressive, vain, egotistical, narcissistic, etc. Trangender people have a lot of valid reasons to have low self-esteems. So I think it is very likely that a lot of the cat fights going on in these groups has a lot to do with people not following through with their therapy properly.
Therapy is required in order to transition. 3 months of it. That isn't nearly enough, and a lot of transsexuals stop once they've reached the minimum. There's a reason why therapy is recommended. Most of these people are in desperate need of it. The 3 months, in most cases, is too lenient. In some cases, it's too much. This is why I think standards should be made on a case-by-case basis. But I digress: a lot of these people have many unsolved psychological issues. They take it out on others, often projecting. I had people telling me that I was the one who needed therapy and that I was the one with ego issues. While I do know I have some ego issues (we all do), and I also know I could benefit from more therapy, I am fairly certain that they are not as stable as they think they are. After all, all of the arguments that took place within these groups were not started by me, but by other members, who approached me with hosilitiy. I do not deny for one second that after the first 3 or 4 times I was approached with hostility that I started to fight back, and took a passive-aggressive approach in responding to these individuals, eventually leading to downright cussing them out. But I was provoked first. That does not for one second excuse my behavior, but it does explain the reality of the situation: they attacked me first, unprovoked.
If you are not the kind of person who bends over backwards when someone tells you they don't like something, if you are the kind of person who stands your ground when you believe something, if you are the kind of person who says what you mean and mean what you say, exactly what you say, then these groups are not for you. They have a way of twisting your words, misinterpreting them, sticking with their misrepresentation and then demanding you publicly apologize and eat your words, and if you haven't completely shoved your fist up your own ass, they remain unsatisfied and will never let you forget it, even if you end up figuratively fisting yourself later. Because you didn't do what they exactly wanted you to do at exactly the moment they asked for it, you're fucked for life. There is no redeeming your reputation from this small mistake. Also, even if you do the "right thing," (exactly what they want you to do), they remain unsatisfied. This brings to question if they really ever wanted anything from you in the first place, and that they'd much rather continue arguing with you now that they're unhappy, despite the fact that you have done everything in your power to correct your innocent mistake. In other words, these people are very stubborn and even if they're wrong, they're right.
I highly recommend only socializing with transsexuals in person. That way, if they start shit, you can knock their teeth out. Chances are more likely, however, that they won't start shit. People tend to have tact in person, at least enough so that if you make a mistake, they'll politely correct you and give you a chance to redeem yourself, instead of losing their minds and throwing massive temper tantrums.
I have been accused of being transphobic because I used three words: "hermaphrodite," "he-she," and "normal." I do not think using a word makes someone transphobic, but how they use it, the context in which the word is used, and the intention of using that word. But it might be safe to say after the experiences I've had with these morons, if I wasn't transphobic yesterday I definitely am now. Transphobic in terms of talking to tranny morons on the internet. If hating a transsexual because they're a moron makes me transphobic, if thinking a transsexual throwing a massive tantrum because I used a certain word is stupid makes me transphobic, if disagreeing with a transsexual who poses a completely irrational argument makes me transphobic, I am the biggest, nastiest bigot who ever lived. I make Hitler look like a real pussy.
I have never had problems with transsexuals in person. Maybe I'm a really good actor. Maybe I'm really good at hiding my deep-seeded hatred for transsexuals. It only makes sense that I'd be transphobic, because I clearly hate myself so much.
Anyone else realize how stupid those accusations sound? It's because they truly are stupid, invalid, and completely untrue. I am not transphobic unless the defintion of transphobia has drastically changed. Last I was aware, transphobia refers to either people who are afriad of transsexuals (I'm not) or people who hate transsexuals (I don't hate them because they're trans, but I do hate many transsexuals because of their behavior).
I find that my annoyance with transsexuals isn't accross the board. I tend to most often have trouble with young female-to-male transsexuals who are pre-op. Usually the guys who just recently got on hormones and are totally hot-headed and full of themselves. I find that older FTMs, and most MTFs regardless of their age or point in transition, are far more respectful and easier to talk to. I find that the only transsexuals who start shit with me are the young FTMs. I have run into a couple of so-called MTFs who act very much like egotistical teenage boys.
I am starting to find that a lot of my community is really nasty, and I'm ashamed to be a part of it. It's no wonder we have a hard time reaching equal rights. Our notorious reputation as a community is not entirely innaccurate. While there are many decent, caring, respectable, intelligent transsexuals, the majority of us need a lot of work. The majority of transsexuals I meet on the internet have nasty attitudes and a serious lack of self-discipline. Oddly enough, the transsexuals I meet in person tend to be the complete opposite of the transsexuals I meet online. I have run into one self-righteous transsexual in person, and even he can come around and say, "You know, I shouldn't have said that, I'm sorry." Even he doesn't intentionally start shit with people. He just has no tact.
So that's it. I know what the internet trannies would say. They'd say I'm making blanket statements and that everybody's different and that I'm transphobic and that I have no right to judge them and that I'm stupid and that I whine too much and that I'm the one with the ego problem and that I'm the one who needs therapy and that I'm the one who's wrong, bad, and evil. And then they'd also say, that I'd say, "WRY R U GUYS SOOOO MEAN." Because they like to troll, too.
Frankly, I have completely lost respect for transsexuals on the internet, and it is their responsibility to prove that they deserve to be respected.
I have never liked the notion that "respect is earned." I believe everyone deserves respect, as long as possible, to the best of my ability, even after they have disrespected me. Disrespecting them back doesn't solve anything. But now I make an exception. I will not respect the opinions of people who flame me. I will not listen to them. If you somehow prove (or have already shown, you know who you are) that you are not a total dipshit, I will treat you like everybody else.
I know they're happy that I'm gone. I know they're celebrating and throwing a party. Well, so am I. I am so glad I don't have to deal with their idiocy anymore. Usually I'd say, "If it looks like everybody else is the problem, you should look at yourself," but in this case, I know I'm not the problem.