can't work. too giddy.

Oct 18, 2006 14:33


it's clear that i won't be doing anything constructive in the next few hours. although, i probably should harness all this positive energy into making some progress on my paper, or whatever else that i should get done between now and ...then.

since i can't chat on the phone for hours analyzing every minute details and nuance of our brief (but oh-so-crucial) first conversation, i have no choice but to write it down. here. this is just going to be a bunch of random ramblings with no comprehendable structure. it's partially intended to kill time, and to go over what just happened here.

phew. 
wow.

it's funny how on the day that i started to let up a little, this happens. i mean, i was still gung-ho for my operation to go down today. but i was really losing hope. and i was ok with this! honestly! i was going to focus my attention on the reality. and the reality of that being, that i had met and gone out with romeo, and i liked him.

not all hope was lost though. i mean, i still glanced around the metro this morning to see if here was there. no luck. i still did a 360 at the water cooler when i mean my tea(s)-3 to be exactly. nada. so i was just running on the fact that somehow, someway, he knew about this vernissage. AND that he would be there. AND that we would talk and fall in love and get married.

BUT. wow. i feel relieved though. although i previously mentioned my babbling etc, i think i was quite natural. no blushing either! i'm pretty good at spontineaity.  not that i hadn't gone over in my head about a billion times what i would say if we ever did get a chance to talk. but this kindof caught be off guard. and i managed quite well i must say.

so now...now...what are we going to talk about? where will the conversation go to??? oh god. here i go getting nervous when i just said how good i was on spur-of-the-moment convos. firstly, i think it's important to establish the fact that we don't know eachother's names!! and then once we get passed that minor formality we can just, chat it up i guess. see where that goes. and then make sweet love in the office supply closet.

although can't remember verbatin what words were exchanged, i'm trying to think about our convo on paris. he wanted to know what i was doing here, if i was just here for an internship and going back. to which i made clear that i've been here for 3 years, etc. " bah ca va!! tu parles super bien!!!|"-----

i find it both flattering and frustrating when french people comment on the fact that i speak french very well. yes, i've been here for three years and unless you are an introverted loner (i take that back, i myself am one and hae still managed to learn the language) or really don't make an ounce of an effort, you should come away with being able to speak a bit in the language. at least enough to get by.

but i always find it amusing to get this compliment. if it is a compliment. what..? did you assume that i was an idiot and are therefore surprised how much i came through and learned you penible language? i find it patronizing in fact!  like awww...you learned our language. how cute! but you speak pretty well. heh. good for you!

and it's always the french that say this. anyone who is a bit 'etranger' (juliani and romeo in particular as they both have non-french origins) will overpass this. romeo didn't mention it once last night. we talked about the states and shit, but never the fact that i learned french. guillaume made quite a big deal about it, always mentioning my accent or noting the fact that it was 'genial' that i spoke 'super bien le francais'..t'as meme pas un accent! mais siiiii.

yeah so ___ mentioned this (will fill in the blank later with office lover's name). he also mentioned the metro. ahhhh the metro. where we first locked eyes. well, if i remember correctly (unless my pathetic mind is so skewed that i made this all up), he was the one that was looking at me. and i felt those beautiful eyes staring so i had to look up. so about the metro, he was like,
 "oh so you live "sur paris meme"--- "yes in the 10/11th, near republique"---

ok i need to stop saying this. as much as i love the 11th, and have always been bitter over the fact that i am precisely 2 meters from being in the 11th arrondissement zone, i need to stop. so i'm not in the 11th. i'm techinically and officially in the 10th. and i need to start being proud of it. and stick up for my quartier. because if you know what's going down in paris, you should know that the 10th is a happening place. oh yes. it's getting up there on the branchitude meter as a bobo-chic-underground neighborhood that's coming up in the ranks behind the 11th and the 4th. no really, i swear. more and more i see these awesome bars, restos, and stores popping up. and every magazine/newspaper that features new and happening places almost always lists an address in my area. so the jealousy and the bitterness needs to stop. i will no longer refer to where i live as "republique" (what's to like about republique anyway??) but as OBERKAMPF. how have i neglected to say this in the past. oberkampf is wayyyy cooler than republique. and it's probably closer to me that republique anyway.  i live in the 10th. and i love it. that was just my little aside on that.

getting back to loverboy's conversation-- after the whole thing about where i live, he then went on to say something about me taking the metro. like, "ah so you take the metro and everything"..

now, i guess, when i pick this phrase apart and look at it independantly from everything else that was exchanged, i guess it could appear as being really patronizing. cause right after he was like ..

ahh "comme une vrai 'tite parisienne" (like a real parisienne).

well..ugh...i don't have a car! and we work in boulogne...and i've been here for 3 years...so...ugh..YAH...i take the metro. is that some sort of merited accomplishment? is this in any way surprising? 
ok i'm being harsh, and i really don't care that he said it all. it was kindof cute how he said "petite parisienne". why yes! i am a petite parisienne!! but uhgmm yes, duh, i take the metro. nooo it was just to link us back to the fact that we saw eachother on the metro and shit. imagine if he's going over in his head what he said to me thinking, "how nul i am...stupid stupid..why did i sound surprised that she takes the metro!!"  no, i really doubt he is spending any time recapping our convo.

it boggles my mind how people are somehow surprised by my integration abilities. i didn't know taking the metro required a certain 'connaissance'. ack it was cute. i knew what he meant. it was just smalltalk. i get this all the time, but it's the first time i've actually taken it out of context to analyse.  

analyzing love, workplace lover, hot intern

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