Another depressing rant...
Ever feel that you’re dying slowly. So slowly that no one notices? Well except for you of course… I’m so depressed it’s sad. I can’t talk to anyone because no one is listening. My mom won’t or can’t. She just keeps telling me about her problems. She won’t let me talk about my fears and worries. So they keep bottling up ‘til I feel like a shaken up soda that would burst when I finally do let it out.
I want to scream. I want to be able to get this all out but I can’t. I cry so much but no one’s around to notice. I get a few calls, they ask how I’m doing and I give the usual, I’m doing alright. If they knew how much was really going on they probably wouldn’t call anymore and say I bitch too much.
So I remain silent. As always.
Always one to be silent, always one to be the one no one notices. But then they do notice… When they do it’s always, “It’ll be fine. Just wait and see.” I can’t wait though!
Sometimes I just wish it would be over. This fake dream I’m living in. I wish it really would.
I’ve been told I need to learn how to spend time by myself but I can’t! Because being alone is just like that, I’m alone and I’m scared. Scared I’ll always be alone and it won’t end.
Whenever I write in my journal now it’s depressing. Depressing to write and depressing to read but if I don’t get it out here I won’t ever get it out…
So I write.
And write some more.
This sucks… I give up. Enough for now.
I want to scream. I want to be able to get this all out but I can’t. I cry so much but no one’s around to notice. I get a few calls, they ask how I’m doing and I give the usual, I’m doing alright. If they knew how much was really going on they probably wouldn’t call anymore and say I bitch too much.
So I remain silent. As always.
Always one to be silent, always one to be the one no one notices. But then they do notice… When they do it’s always, “It’ll be fine. Just wait and see.” I can’t wait though!
Sometimes I just wish it would be over. This fake dream I’m living in. I wish it really would.
I’ve been told I need to learn how to spend time by myself but I can’t! Because being alone is just like that, I’m alone and I’m scared. Scared I’ll always be alone and it won’t end.
Whenever I write in my journal now it’s depressing. Depressing to write and depressing to read but if I don’t get it out here I won’t ever get it out…
So I write.
And write some more.
This sucks… I give up. Enough for now.