Dreams...
I had a dream last night about a friends group where he lives. I have only seen pictures of some of them and others well I don't know them at all. I do have the privilage of knowing a few and I do like them... they are, as we call, family... perhaps only cousins or distant "relatives" but never the less, we're tied to them in ways that aren't physical.
The dream starts with a visit.. A few friends from down here and I go up there... Strypes was the only one besides Liam that I know for sure was there. This is the beginning and as most dreams, the most foggy. We get there and shortly after there is a danger, we're told to leave.. not only us, but all of Bedlam. We help them pack up their cars, We watch the earth settle and shift and I think it's an earthquake, but there was something about water.. the sky is dark, either with clouds or the time of twilight.. not full dark but no sun either... that weird 'in between' part of day...
The earth shakes and quivers.. like a mudslide but.. not too.. maybe and earthquake? It's the final straw for those who had wanted to stay. Bedlam comes with us.
We come south, back to SO. Cali I think. Far from their homes, but not to our homes.. where we go is somewhere else.. a place with a large space, enclosed.. like one of the old camping retreat centers.. though how we, poor almost to the man, could afford such a place (or even the trip up there) I will refrain from understanding or trying to guess. Perhaps it was symbolic, that we simply all came together.
There are over thirty of us.. more like fifty.. people when they sit in the big room sit almost knee to knee and there are many who prefer to stand, hovering on the edges.. both from 'my' group and from theirs.. uncomfortable to sit among others- not knowing who is friend or who is foe.. We assign rooms, many people gathering and bunking with friends.. there are many little groups inside both of the two larger groups.. (Bedlam and... well the Clan. I suppose for lack of a better phrase for it..) there are people who happily go between the two and are apart of both... but there are still lines there.. There are other people who should of been there, could of been there.. there are 'holes' space for more to come.. and it's like small holes waiting to be filled.. perhaps they never will be? but they were there..
I don't know why, but I went to the main room. It's late again.. time has passed, traveling, talking, arguing...the few who would lead only can gather a few to their ideals and everyones got skisms running everywhere. Arguements have broken out and some are fusterated beyond all sanity. Others say they will leave.. I do leave, I walk to the main room.. It's large.. it could fit us all, even if it would be a little cramped.. but it's empty. there's a large fireplace to one side and it's the only light that shines in the room. There are rafters and shadows play on the ceiling. I'm alone except for an old man, rocking in the dead center of the room.
When I go closer he gives me a really kooky grin.. And there's a twinkle in his eye That I'm not sure I liked. At first I thought it was Duncan, an old, old friend, but it wasn't. This old man was not one of my acquaintance. But he gave me a chill down my spine. Then I'm alone and the fire is crackling merrily behind me. The other leader, default perhaps of bedlam, is also a woman, though a bit younger then myself. She and I haven't come to terms yet, not even in the dream can we settle easily. There are other women and a few of the boyo's who could lead too but they are far more content to let others carry the burden if they don't have to. That won't stop them (from the clan OR from Bedlam) from speaking their mind..
She comes in with a few boys and another woman. One of the boys is her mate, her husband. Something that is different then I as I have no one in that position. We are different, night n day two different sides of a coin. IN the dream when I look at her I think of Dawn and Ellie and I shy away from the memories. The potential is there but I doubt I will ever explore it. Been burned to hard before by other potential friends who are strong too. I don't want to test my iron will against hers.
But one of the men step around her. He's old enough to know his own head but young enough to think he's still immortal. He has some what curly hair and it's light brown or dark blond in the light.. Its hard to say. But he sees me and he says something in a language that I think only my soul understands. I stand where the old man had been and I question in my heart if this isn't a bit to conventant. I walked away from my Clan and now I may just pay the price of the choice to take a moment alone.
The other "Queen".. using Anne Bishops turn is a lot easier, tries to call him back but his eyes are on me. His eyes are his, but something 'else' looks through them too. I call him to show himself. Show me his real self and I call myself by my true name, by the things that I bound my choice by years ago to reclaim.. the reasons I call myself the dagger walker... all the prophesys... the late night conversations in the parks... All of it just comes rushing back through me around me and then I am me. Fully, completely Me. The doubts the fear, the pain, everything just vanishes under the balance of being 'me'... in every sense of ... me...
The thing and the man look at me. I can see the skism in him.. but where he had been fighting valiently against the thing, it was taking over. It manfiests, wrapped around the man in a physical form. Like a dragon.. but an eastern dragon, the ones that are more snake like then dinosaur like.. But it's not a dragon, to call it such would be to insult every creature that is a dragon. It is 'different'.. other.. I have never seen anything like it before in this life, but something about it is familiar too.
My warlord princes, my guards, my friends.. my brothers and sisters.. those who have chosen to stand near me and be with me even for a time, pour in from another door as bedlam pour in behind their queen. My Prince's and the ones from bedlam who know 'me' make the others not interfere.. but I don't have much time to acknowledge them because the man and the beast are coming toward me.
I am afraid, for just a moment, that I may be wrong. What if I am wrong and I am not who I believe I am? Then it's gone and the creature's striking out against me. Mine know that I can handle it, but they don't want me to handle it alone- because we are a family, a clan, by choice. By Choice. Not by blood or because they have to be but because it's a CHOICE to stand together.. To live. To cry. to laugh. to find joy and pain andn choose...
But this thing is mine to fight... Others would confuse it, may try to kill the man who's trapped under it.. and he is trapped. It's a miracle he's managed to stay under it for so long as it slowly corrupts his heart and his head. The man had seen me, Known Me. And I would help him.
I can't tell you how I did it.. merely that it worked.. But I couldn't get rid of the beast, just shatter it into seven pieces. They shattered like a light against a prism. The Beast's seven parts were different sizes and different shapes.. the ones I remember most clearly where the red bodied, goat headed worm and the dual headed ape worm that was orange. The biggest two.. the others helped catch and send the demon(s) back where they came from.
After it was over there was fear. Real true fear that you could almost smell. Some of the boys still road the "killing edge" and others trembled in a rage that was as familiar as it was foreign.. the girls dealt with it two. The Bedlam Queen was angry... but she couldn't confront me after that, not directly..
The group split, bedlam going to the left, and the Clan going to the right. For some reason the clan was smaller, we had the most 'holes' people who were missing or not there yet... I'm not sure.. but bedlam was almost twice our size.
I stayed in the middle, still where the old man had stood. Some of the others stayed in the middle too... and one of them.. a brown haired man with a beard questioned me, who was I. what gave me the authority to 'do' things like that.. who did I think I was? .. The others all looked at me for an answer too..
I stood there, hands crossed on my stomach and smiled.. I remember the smile becauseI thought in my head "crap now I'm kooky.." ... I said.. "Either you know me or you do not know me. I don't put stock in names in this life or another. In this life I am Joy. I am a woman. I bleed red blood and can die if fed peanuts. I am mortal, just like you... but in another life I was someone else... who lays in a ruined temple and lies in crystal. Either you know her or you don't... It is not for me to tell you what your heart already knows... and if it doesn't know that is something too."
The man kind of snarled then looked thoughtful nodding. Some of the bedlam people crowded, knees touching in a circle.. Others stood behind them or near them with hands on shoulders or heads. Comforting, touching. I think grounding. It wasn't for me to question what they were doing. I turned to walk over to my clan. I wouldn't force those who wouldn't join either group and instead who hovered on the outskirts to join one.. I didn't / don't believe in forcing the choice.
Before I took a step one of the women in my group stood up holding up two circles. Each circle was the same though one was tainted darker then the other. They were both colored differently but when the two circles came together they formed somtehing different... something more powerful. I blinked and held out my hand. SHe started walking to me and said "You'll understand" then I woke up.
....When I talked to kit on the phone about the various people I saw who I didn't know He could give me names... and said that is exactly how they'd react doing the situation..
..
...I haven't had a dream like this in years. I suspect this confirms what I have been sensing for a while. That somethings coming. Something Big.
....Hell.
The dream starts with a visit.. A few friends from down here and I go up there... Strypes was the only one besides Liam that I know for sure was there. This is the beginning and as most dreams, the most foggy. We get there and shortly after there is a danger, we're told to leave.. not only us, but all of Bedlam. We help them pack up their cars, We watch the earth settle and shift and I think it's an earthquake, but there was something about water.. the sky is dark, either with clouds or the time of twilight.. not full dark but no sun either... that weird 'in between' part of day...
The earth shakes and quivers.. like a mudslide but.. not too.. maybe and earthquake? It's the final straw for those who had wanted to stay. Bedlam comes with us.
We come south, back to SO. Cali I think. Far from their homes, but not to our homes.. where we go is somewhere else.. a place with a large space, enclosed.. like one of the old camping retreat centers.. though how we, poor almost to the man, could afford such a place (or even the trip up there) I will refrain from understanding or trying to guess. Perhaps it was symbolic, that we simply all came together.
There are over thirty of us.. more like fifty.. people when they sit in the big room sit almost knee to knee and there are many who prefer to stand, hovering on the edges.. both from 'my' group and from theirs.. uncomfortable to sit among others- not knowing who is friend or who is foe.. We assign rooms, many people gathering and bunking with friends.. there are many little groups inside both of the two larger groups.. (Bedlam and... well the Clan. I suppose for lack of a better phrase for it..) there are people who happily go between the two and are apart of both... but there are still lines there.. There are other people who should of been there, could of been there.. there are 'holes' space for more to come.. and it's like small holes waiting to be filled.. perhaps they never will be? but they were there..
I don't know why, but I went to the main room. It's late again.. time has passed, traveling, talking, arguing...the few who would lead only can gather a few to their ideals and everyones got skisms running everywhere. Arguements have broken out and some are fusterated beyond all sanity. Others say they will leave.. I do leave, I walk to the main room.. It's large.. it could fit us all, even if it would be a little cramped.. but it's empty. there's a large fireplace to one side and it's the only light that shines in the room. There are rafters and shadows play on the ceiling. I'm alone except for an old man, rocking in the dead center of the room.
When I go closer he gives me a really kooky grin.. And there's a twinkle in his eye That I'm not sure I liked. At first I thought it was Duncan, an old, old friend, but it wasn't. This old man was not one of my acquaintance. But he gave me a chill down my spine. Then I'm alone and the fire is crackling merrily behind me. The other leader, default perhaps of bedlam, is also a woman, though a bit younger then myself. She and I haven't come to terms yet, not even in the dream can we settle easily. There are other women and a few of the boyo's who could lead too but they are far more content to let others carry the burden if they don't have to. That won't stop them (from the clan OR from Bedlam) from speaking their mind..
She comes in with a few boys and another woman. One of the boys is her mate, her husband. Something that is different then I as I have no one in that position. We are different, night n day two different sides of a coin. IN the dream when I look at her I think of Dawn and Ellie and I shy away from the memories. The potential is there but I doubt I will ever explore it. Been burned to hard before by other potential friends who are strong too. I don't want to test my iron will against hers.
But one of the men step around her. He's old enough to know his own head but young enough to think he's still immortal. He has some what curly hair and it's light brown or dark blond in the light.. Its hard to say. But he sees me and he says something in a language that I think only my soul understands. I stand where the old man had been and I question in my heart if this isn't a bit to conventant. I walked away from my Clan and now I may just pay the price of the choice to take a moment alone.
The other "Queen".. using Anne Bishops turn is a lot easier, tries to call him back but his eyes are on me. His eyes are his, but something 'else' looks through them too. I call him to show himself. Show me his real self and I call myself by my true name, by the things that I bound my choice by years ago to reclaim.. the reasons I call myself the dagger walker... all the prophesys... the late night conversations in the parks... All of it just comes rushing back through me around me and then I am me. Fully, completely Me. The doubts the fear, the pain, everything just vanishes under the balance of being 'me'... in every sense of ... me...
The thing and the man look at me. I can see the skism in him.. but where he had been fighting valiently against the thing, it was taking over. It manfiests, wrapped around the man in a physical form. Like a dragon.. but an eastern dragon, the ones that are more snake like then dinosaur like.. But it's not a dragon, to call it such would be to insult every creature that is a dragon. It is 'different'.. other.. I have never seen anything like it before in this life, but something about it is familiar too.
My warlord princes, my guards, my friends.. my brothers and sisters.. those who have chosen to stand near me and be with me even for a time, pour in from another door as bedlam pour in behind their queen. My Prince's and the ones from bedlam who know 'me' make the others not interfere.. but I don't have much time to acknowledge them because the man and the beast are coming toward me.
I am afraid, for just a moment, that I may be wrong. What if I am wrong and I am not who I believe I am? Then it's gone and the creature's striking out against me. Mine know that I can handle it, but they don't want me to handle it alone- because we are a family, a clan, by choice. By Choice. Not by blood or because they have to be but because it's a CHOICE to stand together.. To live. To cry. to laugh. to find joy and pain andn choose...
But this thing is mine to fight... Others would confuse it, may try to kill the man who's trapped under it.. and he is trapped. It's a miracle he's managed to stay under it for so long as it slowly corrupts his heart and his head. The man had seen me, Known Me. And I would help him.
I can't tell you how I did it.. merely that it worked.. But I couldn't get rid of the beast, just shatter it into seven pieces. They shattered like a light against a prism. The Beast's seven parts were different sizes and different shapes.. the ones I remember most clearly where the red bodied, goat headed worm and the dual headed ape worm that was orange. The biggest two.. the others helped catch and send the demon(s) back where they came from.
After it was over there was fear. Real true fear that you could almost smell. Some of the boys still road the "killing edge" and others trembled in a rage that was as familiar as it was foreign.. the girls dealt with it two. The Bedlam Queen was angry... but she couldn't confront me after that, not directly..
The group split, bedlam going to the left, and the Clan going to the right. For some reason the clan was smaller, we had the most 'holes' people who were missing or not there yet... I'm not sure.. but bedlam was almost twice our size.
I stayed in the middle, still where the old man had stood. Some of the others stayed in the middle too... and one of them.. a brown haired man with a beard questioned me, who was I. what gave me the authority to 'do' things like that.. who did I think I was? .. The others all looked at me for an answer too..
I stood there, hands crossed on my stomach and smiled.. I remember the smile becauseI thought in my head "crap now I'm kooky.." ... I said.. "Either you know me or you do not know me. I don't put stock in names in this life or another. In this life I am Joy. I am a woman. I bleed red blood and can die if fed peanuts. I am mortal, just like you... but in another life I was someone else... who lays in a ruined temple and lies in crystal. Either you know her or you don't... It is not for me to tell you what your heart already knows... and if it doesn't know that is something too."
The man kind of snarled then looked thoughtful nodding. Some of the bedlam people crowded, knees touching in a circle.. Others stood behind them or near them with hands on shoulders or heads. Comforting, touching. I think grounding. It wasn't for me to question what they were doing. I turned to walk over to my clan. I wouldn't force those who wouldn't join either group and instead who hovered on the outskirts to join one.. I didn't / don't believe in forcing the choice.
Before I took a step one of the women in my group stood up holding up two circles. Each circle was the same though one was tainted darker then the other. They were both colored differently but when the two circles came together they formed somtehing different... something more powerful. I blinked and held out my hand. SHe started walking to me and said "You'll understand" then I woke up.
....When I talked to kit on the phone about the various people I saw who I didn't know He could give me names... and said that is exactly how they'd react doing the situation..
..
...I haven't had a dream like this in years. I suspect this confirms what I have been sensing for a while. That somethings coming. Something Big.
....Hell.