I can't go back. Harrumph.
So, I can't go back and rad old messages on LJ. Weird. I can't catch up on what everyone's been posting about because it simply won't let me.
I'm sick for the third time in as many months with bronchitis. I don't just get sick, you see, I get SiCK. I don't know why. I used to think it was my hashimoto's disease, but I don't know what to think now. I had a good run there for a while. I'm just frustrated. The hardest part is that my ne job as an instructor doesn't really allow for sick days like my old job. I can take one, but two? Not really. So, I have to scrape myself together for tomorrow and teach like this.
And the new job. That's another story. It's this stressful thing in my life that has just been making me unhappy. I used to love to teach, but this has kind of squashed it out of me. I'm not finding any joy in it at all. Maybe it's just that it set me back from recovering from the episode, the change. I don't know. It's a strange balance between managing the stress of having to perform a certain way with the downtime. I'm too burned out to work my stuff for publication, plus a 5/5 just doesn't leave me the mental space to mange pulling together something for publication.
It's not all bad, life with Thuan is good. He's the most supportive and kind and understanding partner I've ever had. It's not really something I see myself giving up, even to travel to another place to teach what I really wanted to teach. Do I even want to teach anymore? I just don't even know.