Again and Again
The same theories and worries have been swimming in my head the past few months, seems like i'm still incapable of relaxing. the only time i really do feel my shoulders easing up is when i am beside a big blue ocean and my cell phone is somewhere very far away.
alas, it's monsoon season and i've no money to go anywhere, anyway. except maybe north park. and later for lunch i plan on devouring a nice big bowl of crunchy Lechon Macau.
So it's true, what my mother said.
(Funny how i've been saying that a lot lately. it's strange to start sentences with "my mom always said..." when at one point in my stupid teenage years i promised myself i wouldn't listen to her.)
and my mother always said that one day, all those friends you accumulated, they'll drift away, lose touch, disappear. you'll be left with many acquaintances and very few friends. and funny enough, only then will you feel content with the relationships you keep.
I honestly still struggle with the fact that it is true, what she said. it's not just that other people are drifting from me, it's also that I'M drifting from THEM. it's not something one ever does on purpose, it just happens i guess. and the ones who stay, and the ones you decide to keep, are usually the only ones you really do need.
I know i've been writing about friendships a lot and perhaps i'm beginning to sound like a broken record, but i suppose that's just how much these friendships mean to me. it's just sad, i guess, that i wasn't gifted with keeping-in-touch powers. i don't see the point of being pressured into keeping a friendship or relationship overseas. you do your thing there, i'll do my thing here. when you come back or the next time we see each other, it'll be like we never left each other. we'll talk like old friends and share with each other our experiences and whatnot. i'll email every once in a while, you'll call once every few months. no pressure.
that's just one of the things floating around, i think.
I spoke at legnth with one of my friends about spirituality and God and religion, yesterday. and i didn't realize just how much these things mean to me, and how scary it is to share your faith because your words and life need to be in sync. and God knows just how out of tune i can be.
and as of today, i think i will start writing again.
alas, it's monsoon season and i've no money to go anywhere, anyway. except maybe north park. and later for lunch i plan on devouring a nice big bowl of crunchy Lechon Macau.
So it's true, what my mother said.
(Funny how i've been saying that a lot lately. it's strange to start sentences with "my mom always said..." when at one point in my stupid teenage years i promised myself i wouldn't listen to her.)
and my mother always said that one day, all those friends you accumulated, they'll drift away, lose touch, disappear. you'll be left with many acquaintances and very few friends. and funny enough, only then will you feel content with the relationships you keep.
I honestly still struggle with the fact that it is true, what she said. it's not just that other people are drifting from me, it's also that I'M drifting from THEM. it's not something one ever does on purpose, it just happens i guess. and the ones who stay, and the ones you decide to keep, are usually the only ones you really do need.
I know i've been writing about friendships a lot and perhaps i'm beginning to sound like a broken record, but i suppose that's just how much these friendships mean to me. it's just sad, i guess, that i wasn't gifted with keeping-in-touch powers. i don't see the point of being pressured into keeping a friendship or relationship overseas. you do your thing there, i'll do my thing here. when you come back or the next time we see each other, it'll be like we never left each other. we'll talk like old friends and share with each other our experiences and whatnot. i'll email every once in a while, you'll call once every few months. no pressure.
that's just one of the things floating around, i think.
I spoke at legnth with one of my friends about spirituality and God and religion, yesterday. and i didn't realize just how much these things mean to me, and how scary it is to share your faith because your words and life need to be in sync. and God knows just how out of tune i can be.
and as of today, i think i will start writing again.