The prospect of a wedding makes people act CRAZY.

[thecurvedpath]

Most of you know that I'm in a serious relationship headed towards marriage. As a wedding inches closer to reality, I'm discovering a heap of idiosyncrasies and inanities that I never, ever anticipated dealing with. Already, these include a well-meaning but slightly overbearing future mother-in-law, pushy suggestions from people I barely know about

Comments

Re: i like

[thecurvedpath]

what does this mean exactly? i think i know, but i want clarification.

Well, when Nate and I started talking about getting married, I wanted to know his opinion about how it was going to work. Were we just going to have a conversation about it, and decide mutually that we were engaged? Or did he want to do the whole proposal thing? I didn't really care either way, but Nate said it was important to him to ask me. So, that's why I put it the way I did--the whens and hows and wheres of engagement are something that we agreed are his territory. Does this make sense--am I answering your question?

Agreed, WillySarah--damn patriarchal society. It's unbelievably evident in this whole engagement/wedding process. Once we're married, we can kind of make it what we want to--but everyone has an opinion on what our ceremony should be like, and I'm not comfortable with a lot of the outward expressions and symbols that, to me, reflect a lot of paternalism. Don't even get me started on the potential for our parents to freak out about the possibility of us having a female officiant. I'm not even sure they'll think we're really married!

Thanks for all the kind words, Sarah. I like your writing too.

Re: i like

[willysayscheese]

ok, i get it. i would be interested in hearing why that's important to him, but it's not necessary ;)

Re: i like

[thecurvedpath]

I'm actually not sure why it's important to him. I'm sure some of it is a socialized response, but I don't have a huge problem with it because I know it's a choice we're making, regardless of the fact that it *is* a traditional choice. Part of the reason I agreed to let him take the initiative in this area is that (remember The Story?) he broke up with me awhile ago, and I think that if, say, *I* initiated the proposal, I would always worry that I had pushed him or bullied him into marrying me. I know I shouldn't be that insecure, but it's an area where I'm weak, admittedly. And it's part of why I'm comfortable with following tradition in this particular instance.

That's why it's important to me, but I'll have to ask why it's important to him.