(no subject)
life's been getting better, slowly. After christmas im going to ny with my sister for 11days and i cannot wait. Its going to be snowing and everything, hopefully it will be a lovely experience :) and then starting the end of january i will be a full time student and hopefully getting my shit together finally. This whole past thing is just killing me emotinally and physically... i need to let go or i will be miserable the rest of my life, no joke. I mean everything has to happen for a reason, i know i've fucked up in the past but im a totally different person now i just don't understand why he cant try to see the new version of me... instead of the old me... blah, life has never been so lonely, but yet maybe i need this time to be lonely and figure out shit, who knows..Anyways i neeed a fucking job.. even though i will be going to school full time, i still want to make money. I just wanna be busy as fuck where i cant think of anything, but school and work. yeah it may be unhealthy but its what i need honestly...i dont even know ahh. i need a miracle!