(no subject)
sick of feeling like I don't belong here or there.
shannon is moving out and up to portland at the end of this month.
if i didn't think the education at PSU blew total balls I would leave in a heart beat.
it's an unsettling realization that I don't really have a concrete sense of home right now.
and everyday this need for movement feels more and more stifled.
every direction i face people are moving on,
and i don't understand why i can't either let go of school or finish faster.
i have lost my friends in Chicago from being so absent,
and I am an adopted addition to a large group of Eugenians who have known each other since the beginning of time.
And I think how bad I want to go back to Chicago whenever I am around them.
But my group back home is so split now,
and I don't feel the way I used to about the half of them.
So this all leaves me wanting to go somewhere where at least I have an excuse to be a hermit.
Because here I should have made my own friends by now.
But instead I am a leech in this community where I'll never know any of them the way they do or the way I used to know my Chicago friends.
Hmm, such is life.
shannon is moving out and up to portland at the end of this month.
if i didn't think the education at PSU blew total balls I would leave in a heart beat.
it's an unsettling realization that I don't really have a concrete sense of home right now.
and everyday this need for movement feels more and more stifled.
every direction i face people are moving on,
and i don't understand why i can't either let go of school or finish faster.
i have lost my friends in Chicago from being so absent,
and I am an adopted addition to a large group of Eugenians who have known each other since the beginning of time.
And I think how bad I want to go back to Chicago whenever I am around them.
But my group back home is so split now,
and I don't feel the way I used to about the half of them.
So this all leaves me wanting to go somewhere where at least I have an excuse to be a hermit.
Because here I should have made my own friends by now.
But instead I am a leech in this community where I'll never know any of them the way they do or the way I used to know my Chicago friends.
Hmm, such is life.