Only foolish attempts to show that you didn't love me
Here is the trouble with people believing in you: when you fuck up, you let them down.
I can deal with letting myself down. I'm damn good at it. But I don't want to let Betsey down. She's too good of a teacher to have to deal with my bullshit.
Sometimes I ask myself why I actually want to do this. I mean, I love music more than anything in the entire world. I would give up everything before singing, I really would. I would cut my own limbs off before I mutilated my voice. But I'm crazy to actually think I should do this, and yet, I'm doing it anyway. I took the sight-reading portion of my Solfege final today, and got back the dictation portion (A+, who would have guessed with a class that fucking easy), and Ms. Jackovic was like, you should absolutely pursue singing as a career! You have such a beautiful voice!
And I'm just like, I am fucking insane to even entertain the idea of singing professionally.
I'm singing dead last for the voice recital tomorrow night, which means I'm all anyone's going to remember. I'm reaching the point of terror where I just want to curl up in fetal position on the stage and cry when I think about what I'm getting myself into. I hope to G-d my parents never find out just how many doubts I still have after the sheer amount of money and time they've wasted on me and my crazy dreams.
Love,
Raberman
I can deal with letting myself down. I'm damn good at it. But I don't want to let Betsey down. She's too good of a teacher to have to deal with my bullshit.
Sometimes I ask myself why I actually want to do this. I mean, I love music more than anything in the entire world. I would give up everything before singing, I really would. I would cut my own limbs off before I mutilated my voice. But I'm crazy to actually think I should do this, and yet, I'm doing it anyway. I took the sight-reading portion of my Solfege final today, and got back the dictation portion (A+, who would have guessed with a class that fucking easy), and Ms. Jackovic was like, you should absolutely pursue singing as a career! You have such a beautiful voice!
And I'm just like, I am fucking insane to even entertain the idea of singing professionally.
I'm singing dead last for the voice recital tomorrow night, which means I'm all anyone's going to remember. I'm reaching the point of terror where I just want to curl up in fetal position on the stage and cry when I think about what I'm getting myself into. I hope to G-d my parents never find out just how many doubts I still have after the sheer amount of money and time they've wasted on me and my crazy dreams.
Love,
Raberman