To Shane
Congrats on graduating, I knew you could do it. ^.^
I know you might not care, but I am sorry for being the loser that you had to put up with. I was always a loser and might continue to be one. I was never good at speaking my emotions and when I tried, the words never came out right. I don't know what hurt you on counter strike or who, but it hurts to hear that you are sad and hurting and no one is coming to your aid. I really wish I could, but I don't see myself helping anyone with their problems. The people that hurt you are always the ones that are closest to you, because you let them in the most. You count on them to be their in the worst and best of times, but they just are their and don't seem to care if your hurt or not. They ask if your ok, and if you say yes, they drop the whole thing even if you are hurting. People are assholes even those that are close. I guess that is why the phrase "Hold your friends close and your enemies closer" exist. You can tell what your enemy is doing but you can't tell what a friend would do.
In my mind your a friend, not a close friend or a distant friend, but just a friend. I don't know where I stand with you, but I'll be their if you ask me to, even though I might be the last person you would turn to for help :-( I would be their. The feeling of pain will never go away, you can only push on and move with the flow and find new friends and forget about the assholes.
High school was the worst experience for me because of my last few weeks of school. I was never friends with anyone, never let anyone close, and looked emotionally dead to the world. I don't regret being dead to the assholes at high school. No one cared to ask if I was alright or if I was ok. All I got were quick glances and the fact I was being ignored when I was hurting. Why remember that, why remember those fucked up times, those jackasses that hurt me most of all? Because I can and will is why. Their the reason I hate trying to talk to people, trying to make friends. Just because they hurt me most I lost all confidence in myself. They are not worth jack shit. What a waste of my time they were. I admitt there were a few cool people that were they, but for the most part they were all assholes. All I ever wanted was someone to just ask if I was ok, and know I wasn't, thats all.
People say they care but in the long run they are only out for their enjoyment for their pleasure and looking out for number one.
I wish you luck in your future, because you can be so much when you find the right modivation in life. You'll do find once you find it and surpase all those jackasses and leave them in your wake. *stands and salutes*
Chris
I know you might not care, but I am sorry for being the loser that you had to put up with. I was always a loser and might continue to be one. I was never good at speaking my emotions and when I tried, the words never came out right. I don't know what hurt you on counter strike or who, but it hurts to hear that you are sad and hurting and no one is coming to your aid. I really wish I could, but I don't see myself helping anyone with their problems. The people that hurt you are always the ones that are closest to you, because you let them in the most. You count on them to be their in the worst and best of times, but they just are their and don't seem to care if your hurt or not. They ask if your ok, and if you say yes, they drop the whole thing even if you are hurting. People are assholes even those that are close. I guess that is why the phrase "Hold your friends close and your enemies closer" exist. You can tell what your enemy is doing but you can't tell what a friend would do.
In my mind your a friend, not a close friend or a distant friend, but just a friend. I don't know where I stand with you, but I'll be their if you ask me to, even though I might be the last person you would turn to for help :-( I would be their. The feeling of pain will never go away, you can only push on and move with the flow and find new friends and forget about the assholes.
High school was the worst experience for me because of my last few weeks of school. I was never friends with anyone, never let anyone close, and looked emotionally dead to the world. I don't regret being dead to the assholes at high school. No one cared to ask if I was alright or if I was ok. All I got were quick glances and the fact I was being ignored when I was hurting. Why remember that, why remember those fucked up times, those jackasses that hurt me most of all? Because I can and will is why. Their the reason I hate trying to talk to people, trying to make friends. Just because they hurt me most I lost all confidence in myself. They are not worth jack shit. What a waste of my time they were. I admitt there were a few cool people that were they, but for the most part they were all assholes. All I ever wanted was someone to just ask if I was ok, and know I wasn't, thats all.
People say they care but in the long run they are only out for their enjoyment for their pleasure and looking out for number one.
I wish you luck in your future, because you can be so much when you find the right modivation in life. You'll do find once you find it and surpase all those jackasses and leave them in your wake. *stands and salutes*
Chris