(no subject)
I have so much to say that I don't even know where to start...
I was sitting at the table trying to do some of my make-up work that I've missed and I just started crying. My mom was in the living room folding clothes and I said to her, "Mom, I can't do this... I have so much work to do, and I feel like crap, and...(crying)... I don't know what to do. I want to go to school tomorrow because I want to go to youth..." "Addie, you went out all this weekend after not going to school Thursday and Friday. You are making yourself sick! I think you need to take some time off from youth group for a while and think about your priorities. You go off and hang out with your friends and push yourself way over the limit. Your friends know that you get sick when you do too much and they continue to ask you to do stuff with them!" Me: "Mom, It's not their fault! It was my descision to stay out, and most of my girls weren't even there! It's my fault that I can't say no, and I know that that is a very bad fault of mine, and I'm trying to learn! Mom, I need youth group... I can't live without it!" "You need youth group because you make yourself need it! You base all your priorities on the fun and games, and don't focus on the stuff that needs to get done. You are falling behind in school because you are sick. You are sick because you went out this weekend and pushed yourself further than you knew you could go. You went out this weekend because your friends asked you to and because you don't know how to say the word NO!" "Mom, could I just go back to West Valley next semester? I can't handle Oaks." "See, everything is about what you want... about you and your friends! You can't go back next semester because I signed a contract that says I have to pay for the whole year at Oaks." "Even if I don't go there?" "Yes! Even if you don't go there! God Dammit Addie, do you know how much money that is? And on top of it, with you missing this much school I don't even know if Oaks will let us go on the DC trip!...more money gone down the drain! You can't be sick because you can't miss school! I don't know if we're going to DC anymore Addie..." "Mom, we HAVE to go! You can't take this all away from me! Fine, If I go to Oaks can I go to youth group?" "I seriously think you need to take some time off from it, and the phone... you talk with people on the phone WAY too much!" "I talk with them on the phone because I don't ever see them!" .... yada yada yada The conversation wasn't in this exact order, and these aren't our exact words... but this is the jist of it. (Sorry, I had to stop it's making me cry again)... Basically I don't even know where I'm at right now. Throughout our whole conversation I was crying like a fricken baby. I don't think I'm going to be able to go to youth for a while and WV next semester is a definite NO. Doing stuff with you guys on weekends will be minimal too. I don't even know what to do with myself guys. I honestly can't live without youth group... I swear that is where I go to get away and be with you girls and God. Youth group is my life. It is what I look forward to every week and it is what gets me through each day at Oaks...
My thoughts every week at Oaks consist of this...
Monday- I hate Mondays!
Tuesday- Tomorrow's Wednesday... yay youth group to see my babies!
Wednesday- yes! Youth today!
Thursday- tomorrow's Friday!
Friday- weekend baby! Time to hang with my buddies!
Saturday- weekend and tomorrow's Sunday which means church!
Sunday- church yay! yuck... tomorrow's Monday
See, my looking forward to seeing my girlies literally gets me through each day!
Now I have nothing to look forward to, at least for a while. And David is leaving soon... everything is so messed up. Some may think this is the stupidest thing in the world and I should just get over it and move on... but I can't...
I LOVE YOU!!!
*Please pray for me guys... like hardcore!!!!
I was sitting at the table trying to do some of my make-up work that I've missed and I just started crying. My mom was in the living room folding clothes and I said to her, "Mom, I can't do this... I have so much work to do, and I feel like crap, and...(crying)... I don't know what to do. I want to go to school tomorrow because I want to go to youth..." "Addie, you went out all this weekend after not going to school Thursday and Friday. You are making yourself sick! I think you need to take some time off from youth group for a while and think about your priorities. You go off and hang out with your friends and push yourself way over the limit. Your friends know that you get sick when you do too much and they continue to ask you to do stuff with them!" Me: "Mom, It's not their fault! It was my descision to stay out, and most of my girls weren't even there! It's my fault that I can't say no, and I know that that is a very bad fault of mine, and I'm trying to learn! Mom, I need youth group... I can't live without it!" "You need youth group because you make yourself need it! You base all your priorities on the fun and games, and don't focus on the stuff that needs to get done. You are falling behind in school because you are sick. You are sick because you went out this weekend and pushed yourself further than you knew you could go. You went out this weekend because your friends asked you to and because you don't know how to say the word NO!" "Mom, could I just go back to West Valley next semester? I can't handle Oaks." "See, everything is about what you want... about you and your friends! You can't go back next semester because I signed a contract that says I have to pay for the whole year at Oaks." "Even if I don't go there?" "Yes! Even if you don't go there! God Dammit Addie, do you know how much money that is? And on top of it, with you missing this much school I don't even know if Oaks will let us go on the DC trip!...more money gone down the drain! You can't be sick because you can't miss school! I don't know if we're going to DC anymore Addie..." "Mom, we HAVE to go! You can't take this all away from me! Fine, If I go to Oaks can I go to youth group?" "I seriously think you need to take some time off from it, and the phone... you talk with people on the phone WAY too much!" "I talk with them on the phone because I don't ever see them!" .... yada yada yada The conversation wasn't in this exact order, and these aren't our exact words... but this is the jist of it. (Sorry, I had to stop it's making me cry again)... Basically I don't even know where I'm at right now. Throughout our whole conversation I was crying like a fricken baby. I don't think I'm going to be able to go to youth for a while and WV next semester is a definite NO. Doing stuff with you guys on weekends will be minimal too. I don't even know what to do with myself guys. I honestly can't live without youth group... I swear that is where I go to get away and be with you girls and God. Youth group is my life. It is what I look forward to every week and it is what gets me through each day at Oaks...
My thoughts every week at Oaks consist of this...
Monday- I hate Mondays!
Tuesday- Tomorrow's Wednesday... yay youth group to see my babies!
Wednesday- yes! Youth today!
Thursday- tomorrow's Friday!
Friday- weekend baby! Time to hang with my buddies!
Saturday- weekend and tomorrow's Sunday which means church!
Sunday- church yay! yuck... tomorrow's Monday
See, my looking forward to seeing my girlies literally gets me through each day!
Now I have nothing to look forward to, at least for a while. And David is leaving soon... everything is so messed up. Some may think this is the stupidest thing in the world and I should just get over it and move on... but I can't...
I LOVE YOU!!!
*Please pray for me guys... like hardcore!!!!