(no subject)
Don't ask why I'm making this post at 5:00 in the morning. So, I've been talking to my friends kirk and hannah and I just feel so stupid(if that's the word). I just have no clue what to think. I have come to the conclusion that I am a blank canvas. You could convince me that the world is flat, the moon really isn't the moon, and that we don't really exist. I can't even finish a complete sentence in my mind right now. I just feel like that I am not my own person. I don't know what I really think for myself. I have let other people make me who I am today. I have no confidence in what I say, think, or do. French is my major but when I talk about it my eyes say I have no clue what I am talking about. I couldn't even say the world was round with confident eyes. I just don't know what's wrong with me. I am so confused. I just don't get it. I would really like to know what is wrong with me. Can someone just tell me? I would love to fix my confidence problem but I have no clue how to do so. I just don't know anymore. I have to wait for someone to tell me I am a good singer or dancer before I will believe it, but if someone tells me other wise I believe them. Why do I let other people judge how I feel about myself? How can I believe in other people when I don't believe in myself? How can I love someone else with confidence if I don't even love myself with confidence? My world has completely fallen apart...I have no clue who I am. How can I be completely sure that I am Patrick Miller. Born and raised in Hickory, NC. Son of Elaine and Stephen Miller. Brother to Gavin Miller. Graduate of Hickory High School. French Major. Good friend. Gay. I am just not sure anymore.