(no subject)
so it's time for year in revue, and i suppose bullet list would work the fastest.
-jan.06-terribly desperate/depressed and suicidal.
-feb.06-meet new girl liz. spend most time with her drinking.
-march.06-b. get terribly jealous of liz and i. by this time i have a large stock of mushrooms grown for pleasure. chad and sara enter.
april.06-uncontrollable drinking leads to unbelievable physical damage.
may.06-b. pretty much is sick of liz and i. feel like i'm splitting in two.
june.06-liz splits, erin enters. b still is sick of me.
july.06-erin is a thing of the past. as if she was never there. b. will officially leave my life this month. total lack of control. hate pulses through me, at me, for me because of this liz/b. business. chad becomes my sole guy friend.
aug.06-spend two weeks in canada doing family things. candace enters.
sept.06-kelly reenters, seems i've been forgiven. still no school. feeling like i might just yet get back on track.
oct.06-unable to connect to those few still around. familial issues ensue. relationship with brother grows to places it's never been. almost convinced he cares. got fried from psp.
nov.06-candace is thoroughly and justifiably scared away for life. kelly's on the fringe. seems as though she may have not ever forgave me. primus concert with my sister. loss of a few more people.
dec.06-start new job as a cook. gave up paying the phone bill. gave up reaching out. gave up you, and you, and you. anna reenters after a year and a half hiatus. can't stand the presence of anyone. hate and negativity circle around my head and clouds the air coughing through my lungs.
all together, after all i've lost, and what little there that was gained, i am perpetually better off. my negativity(which in turn is positivity) pusles endlessly, frantically it turns night into day, and lies into truth. the further i run, and the harder i push all away, the more clear it becomes, there was never any other way. this is my last post, none of you will hear from me again.
-jan.06-terribly desperate/depressed and suicidal.
-feb.06-meet new girl liz. spend most time with her drinking.
-march.06-b. get terribly jealous of liz and i. by this time i have a large stock of mushrooms grown for pleasure. chad and sara enter.
april.06-uncontrollable drinking leads to unbelievable physical damage.
may.06-b. pretty much is sick of liz and i. feel like i'm splitting in two.
june.06-liz splits, erin enters. b still is sick of me.
july.06-erin is a thing of the past. as if she was never there. b. will officially leave my life this month. total lack of control. hate pulses through me, at me, for me because of this liz/b. business. chad becomes my sole guy friend.
aug.06-spend two weeks in canada doing family things. candace enters.
sept.06-kelly reenters, seems i've been forgiven. still no school. feeling like i might just yet get back on track.
oct.06-unable to connect to those few still around. familial issues ensue. relationship with brother grows to places it's never been. almost convinced he cares. got fried from psp.
nov.06-candace is thoroughly and justifiably scared away for life. kelly's on the fringe. seems as though she may have not ever forgave me. primus concert with my sister. loss of a few more people.
dec.06-start new job as a cook. gave up paying the phone bill. gave up reaching out. gave up you, and you, and you. anna reenters after a year and a half hiatus. can't stand the presence of anyone. hate and negativity circle around my head and clouds the air coughing through my lungs.
all together, after all i've lost, and what little there that was gained, i am perpetually better off. my negativity(which in turn is positivity) pusles endlessly, frantically it turns night into day, and lies into truth. the further i run, and the harder i push all away, the more clear it becomes, there was never any other way. this is my last post, none of you will hear from me again.