(no subject)
I give up again.
the end is becoming ominous. and its a long slow slide.
for the most part I hate most human beings. including the people who are supposed to be my friends.
I can give so much to them. I can give them everything, and always be there for them. But literally I am begging them for some attention, to show me something, and all I get is nothing.
They always say when you feel like you are losing control, and things get really bad, that if you tell someone it makes all the difference. Well what if you have, and nobody fucking listens, or fucking cares?
I don't know if it is my expectations of other people that always have me questioning things. I understand that Nikki is a fucking user. And she always has and always will be. That she is a fucking cunt with no moral, or ethical values that most human beings are able to attain. She continuously treats me like shit. I am constantly treated with zero respect, and I am always made to feel like a second class citizen. I understand that she uses her attitude to counteract the fact that she has below average intelligence, and that makes her feel insecure, and out of control. It's hard to be a dumbass skank that sleeps around too much.
I feel like you can fight with someone to treat you better. But is that really a fair fight? do you really need to tell someone to treat you better? is it wrong of me to even bring it up? cause is there not a socially acceptable amount of bullshit that you can put one person through, that has done nothing but be there for you through all the disgustingly poor choices that you continue to make on a daily basis regardless of the fact that it resembles a retarded dog chasing their tail around in the backyard?
I have this ball of fire in my stomach right now. I am ready to leash it out on anyone who comes in my fucking way. I feel sorry for the sob. I am at a crossroads in my life. I hate everything. I hate everyone. I want nothing more, and nothing less. I have no friends, no love interests. I went to meet a guy last night, that was missing his two bottom fucking teeth. Two bottom teeth. Like, has it gotten that bad for me? a couple extra lbs and seriously this is what its all about?
How do you cut out a friendship that used to be amazing. Well the fact that it isnt amazing anymore is enough. Do you just say sorry we can't hang out, or do you just let it go naturally? part of me wants to make her suffer like she does to me. But then I realize that she has to continue to deal with the fact that she is not enough. Not enough for anyone, or anything. It must be hard to walk around this world being so devoid of intelligence, and sophistication, and have absolutely zero social skills. After the age of 15, who really allows themselves to be in a internet relationship, a new one everyone month, with some black guy in the states? is that sane?
i feel like the walls are closing in on me, and I am starting to lose my fucking grip. I am ready to explode and freak the fuck out.
you dont deserve a friend like me. You honestly never have, and god I don't know why I never listen to my mother, when she told me that she is a bad person, who doesnt care about anyone but herself. That she will fuck you over hard in the end. I should always listen to my mother, They always know best.
the end is becoming ominous. and its a long slow slide.
for the most part I hate most human beings. including the people who are supposed to be my friends.
I can give so much to them. I can give them everything, and always be there for them. But literally I am begging them for some attention, to show me something, and all I get is nothing.
They always say when you feel like you are losing control, and things get really bad, that if you tell someone it makes all the difference. Well what if you have, and nobody fucking listens, or fucking cares?
I don't know if it is my expectations of other people that always have me questioning things. I understand that Nikki is a fucking user. And she always has and always will be. That she is a fucking cunt with no moral, or ethical values that most human beings are able to attain. She continuously treats me like shit. I am constantly treated with zero respect, and I am always made to feel like a second class citizen. I understand that she uses her attitude to counteract the fact that she has below average intelligence, and that makes her feel insecure, and out of control. It's hard to be a dumbass skank that sleeps around too much.
I feel like you can fight with someone to treat you better. But is that really a fair fight? do you really need to tell someone to treat you better? is it wrong of me to even bring it up? cause is there not a socially acceptable amount of bullshit that you can put one person through, that has done nothing but be there for you through all the disgustingly poor choices that you continue to make on a daily basis regardless of the fact that it resembles a retarded dog chasing their tail around in the backyard?
I have this ball of fire in my stomach right now. I am ready to leash it out on anyone who comes in my fucking way. I feel sorry for the sob. I am at a crossroads in my life. I hate everything. I hate everyone. I want nothing more, and nothing less. I have no friends, no love interests. I went to meet a guy last night, that was missing his two bottom fucking teeth. Two bottom teeth. Like, has it gotten that bad for me? a couple extra lbs and seriously this is what its all about?
How do you cut out a friendship that used to be amazing. Well the fact that it isnt amazing anymore is enough. Do you just say sorry we can't hang out, or do you just let it go naturally? part of me wants to make her suffer like she does to me. But then I realize that she has to continue to deal with the fact that she is not enough. Not enough for anyone, or anything. It must be hard to walk around this world being so devoid of intelligence, and sophistication, and have absolutely zero social skills. After the age of 15, who really allows themselves to be in a internet relationship, a new one everyone month, with some black guy in the states? is that sane?
i feel like the walls are closing in on me, and I am starting to lose my fucking grip. I am ready to explode and freak the fuck out.
you dont deserve a friend like me. You honestly never have, and god I don't know why I never listen to my mother, when she told me that she is a bad person, who doesnt care about anyone but herself. That she will fuck you over hard in the end. I should always listen to my mother, They always know best.