(no subject)
i am covered in little tiny shells from swimming in the sea all night. i am very hairy and brown and fat now. come visit me once i've moved into my closet on laurel, okay?
i just wrote, for the thousandth time, the perfect and then
erased part.
oh what we do to kids that eat up others to fill their empty bellies. i guess we let them go around hungry-eyed, like the cats. i used to live in this house, and i only lived there a month, where the girl that lived there first was always in the bedroom i was staying in whenever i came home, plicking at the laptops. or she was always asking us if we had seen this or that thing she had lost, or if we'd look at this or that object she was making, or if we'd, um, please pay attention to her, please. and it made me so nervous, because she had a culture about her of always needing to know
1. what everyone was doing
2. that everyone knew what she was doing
but. since i was her and her housemate's guest, i couldn't really bring up issues of privacy and such, i thought. or: i thought that would be inapropriate. no, ungrateful. but i started to lose it.
but what really made me grit my teeth is that it seemed so apparent that she was methodically harassing the boy who also lived in the house. in increasingly ugly ways. and i felt equally unequipped to call attention to this,
because,
well you know, the usual reasons.
so, friends, i was cowardly! and quit the city, and every place. oh its just now i think i might have left the boy to the wolves. to the wolves. i am losing sleep
over it all.
ah i just checked myself out in the mirror and i am not so fat after all. but wow i am hairy. the boys have been hiding the razors.
i just wrote, for the thousandth time, the perfect and then
erased part.
oh what we do to kids that eat up others to fill their empty bellies. i guess we let them go around hungry-eyed, like the cats. i used to live in this house, and i only lived there a month, where the girl that lived there first was always in the bedroom i was staying in whenever i came home, plicking at the laptops. or she was always asking us if we had seen this or that thing she had lost, or if we'd look at this or that object she was making, or if we'd, um, please pay attention to her, please. and it made me so nervous, because she had a culture about her of always needing to know
1. what everyone was doing
2. that everyone knew what she was doing
but. since i was her and her housemate's guest, i couldn't really bring up issues of privacy and such, i thought. or: i thought that would be inapropriate. no, ungrateful. but i started to lose it.
but what really made me grit my teeth is that it seemed so apparent that she was methodically harassing the boy who also lived in the house. in increasingly ugly ways. and i felt equally unequipped to call attention to this,
because,
well you know, the usual reasons.
so, friends, i was cowardly! and quit the city, and every place. oh its just now i think i might have left the boy to the wolves. to the wolves. i am losing sleep
over it all.
ah i just checked myself out in the mirror and i am not so fat after all. but wow i am hairy. the boys have been hiding the razors.