(no subject)
I haven't written in ages. Who uses Live Journal any more anyway? I think I will turn this into a dream journal. I've heard that writing down your dreams as soon as you wake up helps you to remember them. This was a dream I had this afternoon... Please excuse the poor writing. It's a total stream-of-consciousness. I was merely concerned with getting down as many details as I could remember.
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I just woke up from a nap on a Sunday afternoon (about 4:00 - 5:30.) I had a dream about my grandmother.
The first thing I can remember is being on my old street, Maxine Dr., with my dog Gemini. I think maybe I was there to see my neighbor, Mr. Jack, but I'm not sure. I walked near my old house, which seemed to be very close to the street (small front yard) and I noticed the door and screen door was open. It was day time and very bright inside, which was odd because in the last few years of the home's occupation, the curtains and doors were always closed, the house always dark.
Gemini pulled me towards it because there was a gray dog about his size in the doorway. I went inside and was surprised to see that all the curtains were open and the sliding glass door leading to the back yard was open as well. I looked out the back door and noticed a bright day, but didn't notice a back yard or the pool we had. The house was quiet and relatively clean. In reality, the house hasn't been inhabited for over two years and is covered in wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling back mold.
I walked into the living room where my grandmother was sitting in her usual chair, located in the back corner where it was when I was little. She looked like she did a few years before her death -- old, but healthy. She was still overweight; less than she was while she was relatively healthy, and more than she was when her health started failing. I was a tiny bit surprised to see her, but I didn't question it. My second poodle (now deceased) was also there, healthy and young, though not a puppy. My first poodle was not there. All three dogs (Gemini, Nicky the poodle, and the gray dog) started playing.
I'm not sure how our conversation started, but the first thing I remember talking about was the gray dog. My grandmother said that obviously he was homeless because he didn't have anything with him. I went up to him, he playfully pulled away, and when I finally caught him, pulled a raw hide type toy from his mouth. My grandmother retracted her statement, because we didn't have those types of toys in our house. I brought the dog over to the food and water that was set out in the usual place, by the sliding glass door. The dog didn't eat. It was then that I looked out the back door.
Skip to the next thing I remember...
Now my grandmother's usual chair was against the wall near the front hallway, the last place it was. She was still sitting in it, looking the same. There were no more dogs. It was dusk outside; not a dark, sad dusk but rather one of those nights where the sky turns a gentle pink and purple. We had established that she was dead, and that she was allowed out of the afterlife for a set amount of time to come back here daily. She was telling me a few of the things she'd like me to keep: the gold stand that held the pokers and other things for the fireplace, a plastic light-up halloween jack-o-lantern, and... Oh no! Where's her pumpkin? She was mildly upset that we couldn't find another plastic pumpkin. She said she loved those pumpkins. We were able to find it, although it was in two pieces: a flat-ish plastic jack-o-lantern and a green plastic stand it snapped on to. I fixed it and she was relieved. Although we did have the first jack-o-lantern in reality, I never saw one like the second. I think I may have realized that it was a new object in my dream.
We chatted a little more about current events in my life, the neighbors, and other people she had known. I don't remember specifics of the conversation. There was a sort of announcement from the devil alerting the dead that their time was almost up in the real world. My recollection of this is fuzzy, but I remember it being a deep, clear voice, not overly loud, and not scary. It seems to me that perhaps the devil himself did not make this announcement, but someone else made it, alerting people that the devil wanted them back at a certain time.
We talked a little more and my grandmother decided to make her way back to hell. I'm not sure if she told me it was hell or not, but I knew it. I was not sad about it, nor did I question it. My grandmother was not sad or reluctant to go back either. It was just a fact of life: time to go back now. She entered hell in the space on the cul-de-sac that was where the crazy cat man's house should have been, directly next to the house that my grandmother had long-standing drama with. (I never knew why; I just knew they didn't like each other.) There was a gate of some sort that she walked towards, and I just then noticed that her hair was a kind of strawberry red. I shouted out, "Nonny!" She turned her head. I yelled, "I like your hair!" As I was saying these words, her hair began to change color to white, then to a sort of blue. She thanked me and walked through the gate. Then she was gone. I have the vague feeling that there were a few other people of a similar age as her walking through the gate too, meandering back to hell, although I didn't see them. This would make sense, as it is an older neighborhood.
Next, I remember deciding to walk to the house of the woman my grandmother didn't like. It was no longer right on the street, but tucked down a little pathway. I started thinking that it was odd it had been built like this. It never occurred to me that it shouldn't look like this.
I decided it was time to leave, and I was back on the cul-de-sac. I think I had Gemini with me. I thought that I should visit Mr. Jack, the elderly next door neighbor that I have always been close to. I noticed a few extra cars in his driveway (which was now in the location of the drama lady's house), but decided to visit anyway. The garage opened and revealed Mr. Jack and two of his daughters, carrying some sort of fold-up, zip-up mattresses. Mr. Jack said, "Not now, Kristen. Today is not a happy day." I wondered if someone had died, but then I overheard the two women having some sort of conversation that led me to believe that Andrew (his grandson about my age that I have recently visited with) was engaged and there was some family feud dealing with the wedding. I felt relieved that it was nothing serious, but confused because Andrew had just told me he was single. Mr. Jack mentioned something about a temper-pedic-like mattress that I had given him for Christmas (which didn't really happen). He was thankful and told his daughters how wonderful it was, then gently told me that I needed to go. I hugged him and walked back on the street.
Then I woke up.
This was the first dream I have had about my grandmother without my mother present. Yesterday when driving home from a road trip, I had remembered watching my grandmother die in my mom's arms for the first time since my mom had died. (Then I only mourned my mom.) I had told my boyfriend how my grandmother was always very hard on my mom, but absolutely wonderful to me.
_________________________________________________________________
I just woke up from a nap on a Sunday afternoon (about 4:00 - 5:30.) I had a dream about my grandmother.
The first thing I can remember is being on my old street, Maxine Dr., with my dog Gemini. I think maybe I was there to see my neighbor, Mr. Jack, but I'm not sure. I walked near my old house, which seemed to be very close to the street (small front yard) and I noticed the door and screen door was open. It was day time and very bright inside, which was odd because in the last few years of the home's occupation, the curtains and doors were always closed, the house always dark.
Gemini pulled me towards it because there was a gray dog about his size in the doorway. I went inside and was surprised to see that all the curtains were open and the sliding glass door leading to the back yard was open as well. I looked out the back door and noticed a bright day, but didn't notice a back yard or the pool we had. The house was quiet and relatively clean. In reality, the house hasn't been inhabited for over two years and is covered in wall-to-wall, floor-to-ceiling back mold.
I walked into the living room where my grandmother was sitting in her usual chair, located in the back corner where it was when I was little. She looked like she did a few years before her death -- old, but healthy. She was still overweight; less than she was while she was relatively healthy, and more than she was when her health started failing. I was a tiny bit surprised to see her, but I didn't question it. My second poodle (now deceased) was also there, healthy and young, though not a puppy. My first poodle was not there. All three dogs (Gemini, Nicky the poodle, and the gray dog) started playing.
I'm not sure how our conversation started, but the first thing I remember talking about was the gray dog. My grandmother said that obviously he was homeless because he didn't have anything with him. I went up to him, he playfully pulled away, and when I finally caught him, pulled a raw hide type toy from his mouth. My grandmother retracted her statement, because we didn't have those types of toys in our house. I brought the dog over to the food and water that was set out in the usual place, by the sliding glass door. The dog didn't eat. It was then that I looked out the back door.
Skip to the next thing I remember...
Now my grandmother's usual chair was against the wall near the front hallway, the last place it was. She was still sitting in it, looking the same. There were no more dogs. It was dusk outside; not a dark, sad dusk but rather one of those nights where the sky turns a gentle pink and purple. We had established that she was dead, and that she was allowed out of the afterlife for a set amount of time to come back here daily. She was telling me a few of the things she'd like me to keep: the gold stand that held the pokers and other things for the fireplace, a plastic light-up halloween jack-o-lantern, and... Oh no! Where's her pumpkin? She was mildly upset that we couldn't find another plastic pumpkin. She said she loved those pumpkins. We were able to find it, although it was in two pieces: a flat-ish plastic jack-o-lantern and a green plastic stand it snapped on to. I fixed it and she was relieved. Although we did have the first jack-o-lantern in reality, I never saw one like the second. I think I may have realized that it was a new object in my dream.
We chatted a little more about current events in my life, the neighbors, and other people she had known. I don't remember specifics of the conversation. There was a sort of announcement from the devil alerting the dead that their time was almost up in the real world. My recollection of this is fuzzy, but I remember it being a deep, clear voice, not overly loud, and not scary. It seems to me that perhaps the devil himself did not make this announcement, but someone else made it, alerting people that the devil wanted them back at a certain time.
We talked a little more and my grandmother decided to make her way back to hell. I'm not sure if she told me it was hell or not, but I knew it. I was not sad about it, nor did I question it. My grandmother was not sad or reluctant to go back either. It was just a fact of life: time to go back now. She entered hell in the space on the cul-de-sac that was where the crazy cat man's house should have been, directly next to the house that my grandmother had long-standing drama with. (I never knew why; I just knew they didn't like each other.) There was a gate of some sort that she walked towards, and I just then noticed that her hair was a kind of strawberry red. I shouted out, "Nonny!" She turned her head. I yelled, "I like your hair!" As I was saying these words, her hair began to change color to white, then to a sort of blue. She thanked me and walked through the gate. Then she was gone. I have the vague feeling that there were a few other people of a similar age as her walking through the gate too, meandering back to hell, although I didn't see them. This would make sense, as it is an older neighborhood.
Next, I remember deciding to walk to the house of the woman my grandmother didn't like. It was no longer right on the street, but tucked down a little pathway. I started thinking that it was odd it had been built like this. It never occurred to me that it shouldn't look like this.
I decided it was time to leave, and I was back on the cul-de-sac. I think I had Gemini with me. I thought that I should visit Mr. Jack, the elderly next door neighbor that I have always been close to. I noticed a few extra cars in his driveway (which was now in the location of the drama lady's house), but decided to visit anyway. The garage opened and revealed Mr. Jack and two of his daughters, carrying some sort of fold-up, zip-up mattresses. Mr. Jack said, "Not now, Kristen. Today is not a happy day." I wondered if someone had died, but then I overheard the two women having some sort of conversation that led me to believe that Andrew (his grandson about my age that I have recently visited with) was engaged and there was some family feud dealing with the wedding. I felt relieved that it was nothing serious, but confused because Andrew had just told me he was single. Mr. Jack mentioned something about a temper-pedic-like mattress that I had given him for Christmas (which didn't really happen). He was thankful and told his daughters how wonderful it was, then gently told me that I needed to go. I hugged him and walked back on the street.
Then I woke up.
This was the first dream I have had about my grandmother without my mother present. Yesterday when driving home from a road trip, I had remembered watching my grandmother die in my mom's arms for the first time since my mom had died. (Then I only mourned my mom.) I had told my boyfriend how my grandmother was always very hard on my mom, but absolutely wonderful to me.