It's that time of year again...
...well, the last time of the year apparently. More specifically it's that time of year where I become sick of Rhode Island - it comes faster and faster each visit. This was my shortest visit ever and it still has come to a depressing and frustrating end. Here's the visit in review:
I came home on the 18th - was labeled a "security special" in the airport which caused xray pictures to be taken and escorts to be escorting but the actual flight wasn't bad and I arrived in ri a mere 12 hours before RI received 3 feet of snow - glorious in a very sarcastic way - seeing the dog was the most exciting thing for the first couple of days. I herd less grief about hanging out with Summi late this year - mom was adapting a "let's try not to be like grammy debbie and back off a little bit" policy. Then of course issues on my appearance came into effect and my mmom was constant letting comments slide about my weight and the lovely hair that likes to grow on my face :( and so I called to make a doctor's appointment about it all but they had no openings during the time I was home. I settled for a hair appointment which I really love although not the hair stylist so much. Christmas went alright - family events seemed more exhausting this year - more fake and more stingy. Christmas morning I got a portable harddrive, 50$, a wallet, and four five dollar movies from wal mart. Tori got me a sweatshirt and summer got me some neat copic colors. tom got me a sherrilyn kenyon book and two 15$ gift certificates - one to fye and the other to itunes - I traded the fye in for another itunes so now I can buy a whole season of tv :D. I still have a bag of presents and xmas cards which I swore to myself that I would gloriously mail out to everyone this year and then never got around to it. Hung out with Summer, Tom, and Sheila with some singstar and apples to apples action. We roleplayed a couple of nights ago - and although I think our characters had great potential the session kind of deflated due to the general tierdness of the group - we are no longer all on that stay up late schedule. I tried getting together with kelsey but she seems to have developed more on the one trait that I don't like about her which is her leaning towards laziness in making plans. I pushed them back three times now; half because of actual reasons, and half because I am afraid that the time has finally come where kelsey and I have become different and have drifted without knowing it - if this is the case I will have not one single friend left from high school. I have noticed that dad has been getting in worse and worse moods as well - I don't know if it's because he's alone a lot more or the dog or having no mom buffer but he just gets mad about so many little things now - to the point of throwing things at me and such (examples would be not taking out the dog before I was leaving to go somehwere even though I had taken her out every other time that day, not running around to catch the dog when loose, falling asleep in the car and therefore not bringing groceries in when he got out) Monday morning we went to the DMV so that me and tori could get licenses renewed and then promptly left without them due to the fact that dad didn't want to miss his golf game. On the way home the doctor's office called and had an opening for a hour from them - so I went and met my new doctor Dr. Gross - who was super nice and pleasant enough to talk to when she wasn't trying to over explain things. She said my breathing was fine and that I was super flexible and then we talked about getting checked for PCO and numerous tests were ordered. I got out of a tetnis shot which was nice. What I failed to mention was that before this my father told my mother that I now had a doctors appointment. She felt compelled to call THREE TIMES before I went - the first two to "make sure I knew what I needed to talk to the doctor about, did I need to write it down, did she need to CALL THE DOCTOR AND LET HER KNOW" my god - for someone who keeps bragging that they are so independent from their children you think you could let a 22 year old breath a little bit. The third call was to apologize which I took very robotically - this whole "I'm going to be crazy and half insult you a lot and then apologize for it later by saying it's just because I care" is getting SUPER OLD and reminicent of that abusive cycle they used to talk about in high school. Today was the blood work which went really well and fast with pleasant women doing the drawing blood - minimal pain and bruising - then the ultrasound for PCO which was in a really upscale private facility that reminded me of those cancer treatment centers that have nice furniture and such. Having never gotten an ultrasound before it was a nice experience - the gel was warm the lights were dim - all in all very relaxing except for the part where I had to drink two bottle of water two hours before and not go the bathroom. But again - the woman was very nice. The went straight to my dentist's appointment which yielded a good report except for some extra tarter and gums that need healing after the DH got a hold of them. Got home and hung with tori until Mom came home and immediately asked how the doctors visit went - and I told her exactaly what I wrote here plus the times and days when I can get the results since they weren't read at the appointment. ten minutes later she shouts from our kitchen where she is sitting with my father to me in the living room where I am sitting with my sister - "DID THEY DO A STOMACH ULTRASOUND OR A VAGINAL" "MOM" I say exasperately which is enough for her to pretend to talk to herself and be like "what oh - because he's here oh" which was a factor but mostly because I gave her all the information she needed to know why she constantly has to press these issues I don't know. Half hour later dad is gone but tori is still there and she starts asking even more personal questions and repeating stuff I already told her. At which point I say - you don't need to know. SHE FLIPS OUT saying that I am so selfish and that its just becvause she cares about me and that I have no problem asking her to cosign loans (which is her favorite thing to hold against me nowadays) While she is yelling this I am practically laughing - I just shake my head and tell her she is such a hypocrite and repeat back her mantra of not being overbearing and she doesn't allow me to finish and just keeps repeating the same things getting louder and louder with my selfishness being her main theme. I am still shaking my head and totally calm about the situation until she directly starts to insult me - insults that I am not going to repeat here because they hurt a lot - but she said them intentially attacking me - at which point I snapped and flipped out reminding her that it was in fact her selfishness that caused her to ignore my comfort when talking about certain things and blatantly discussing them infront of other people (not to mention disucssing them with outside family members) and that I did answer he medical questions the first time she asked and that she can ask them over and over again but the answers don't change and she already knows everything. It's like she asks about the stuff that doesn't really matter in regards to the diagnosis just to make me feel uncomfortable - no - more to prove that she is super comfortable with talking about it. gah. I would so be at the mems right now if I were in florida. Tomorrow I need to clean and pack and possibly visit with kelsey - friday I call and get my test results and possible medication and then am going back home finally. Once home I am going to try to find a job at borders or something and just keep it through the summer - I already told my parents in all seriousness before this fight happened that I probably wasn't coming home this summer - there's no point. Although I will miss Tori and Summi.
On another depressing note - although the patriots had an awesome record and won their game last weekend - becuase baltimore and miami won they don't get into the playoffs. The NFL is broken up kind of retardedly at the moment - all the great teams arein the AFC East - so four teams with lower records than the patriots are in the playoff because of their divison's spot holdings. three other teams share the patriots record and are in the playoffs - dumb. What's REALLY SAD is that if miami had lost - patriots would have been the AFC champions - that the difference between a championship and elimination is in the hands of a game you are not even in is retarded.
anyway - long story short - florida ho!
I came home on the 18th - was labeled a "security special" in the airport which caused xray pictures to be taken and escorts to be escorting but the actual flight wasn't bad and I arrived in ri a mere 12 hours before RI received 3 feet of snow - glorious in a very sarcastic way - seeing the dog was the most exciting thing for the first couple of days. I herd less grief about hanging out with Summi late this year - mom was adapting a "let's try not to be like grammy debbie and back off a little bit" policy. Then of course issues on my appearance came into effect and my mmom was constant letting comments slide about my weight and the lovely hair that likes to grow on my face :( and so I called to make a doctor's appointment about it all but they had no openings during the time I was home. I settled for a hair appointment which I really love although not the hair stylist so much. Christmas went alright - family events seemed more exhausting this year - more fake and more stingy. Christmas morning I got a portable harddrive, 50$, a wallet, and four five dollar movies from wal mart. Tori got me a sweatshirt and summer got me some neat copic colors. tom got me a sherrilyn kenyon book and two 15$ gift certificates - one to fye and the other to itunes - I traded the fye in for another itunes so now I can buy a whole season of tv :D. I still have a bag of presents and xmas cards which I swore to myself that I would gloriously mail out to everyone this year and then never got around to it. Hung out with Summer, Tom, and Sheila with some singstar and apples to apples action. We roleplayed a couple of nights ago - and although I think our characters had great potential the session kind of deflated due to the general tierdness of the group - we are no longer all on that stay up late schedule. I tried getting together with kelsey but she seems to have developed more on the one trait that I don't like about her which is her leaning towards laziness in making plans. I pushed them back three times now; half because of actual reasons, and half because I am afraid that the time has finally come where kelsey and I have become different and have drifted without knowing it - if this is the case I will have not one single friend left from high school. I have noticed that dad has been getting in worse and worse moods as well - I don't know if it's because he's alone a lot more or the dog or having no mom buffer but he just gets mad about so many little things now - to the point of throwing things at me and such (examples would be not taking out the dog before I was leaving to go somehwere even though I had taken her out every other time that day, not running around to catch the dog when loose, falling asleep in the car and therefore not bringing groceries in when he got out) Monday morning we went to the DMV so that me and tori could get licenses renewed and then promptly left without them due to the fact that dad didn't want to miss his golf game. On the way home the doctor's office called and had an opening for a hour from them - so I went and met my new doctor Dr. Gross - who was super nice and pleasant enough to talk to when she wasn't trying to over explain things. She said my breathing was fine and that I was super flexible and then we talked about getting checked for PCO and numerous tests were ordered. I got out of a tetnis shot which was nice. What I failed to mention was that before this my father told my mother that I now had a doctors appointment. She felt compelled to call THREE TIMES before I went - the first two to "make sure I knew what I needed to talk to the doctor about, did I need to write it down, did she need to CALL THE DOCTOR AND LET HER KNOW" my god - for someone who keeps bragging that they are so independent from their children you think you could let a 22 year old breath a little bit. The third call was to apologize which I took very robotically - this whole "I'm going to be crazy and half insult you a lot and then apologize for it later by saying it's just because I care" is getting SUPER OLD and reminicent of that abusive cycle they used to talk about in high school. Today was the blood work which went really well and fast with pleasant women doing the drawing blood - minimal pain and bruising - then the ultrasound for PCO which was in a really upscale private facility that reminded me of those cancer treatment centers that have nice furniture and such. Having never gotten an ultrasound before it was a nice experience - the gel was warm the lights were dim - all in all very relaxing except for the part where I had to drink two bottle of water two hours before and not go the bathroom. But again - the woman was very nice. The went straight to my dentist's appointment which yielded a good report except for some extra tarter and gums that need healing after the DH got a hold of them. Got home and hung with tori until Mom came home and immediately asked how the doctors visit went - and I told her exactaly what I wrote here plus the times and days when I can get the results since they weren't read at the appointment. ten minutes later she shouts from our kitchen where she is sitting with my father to me in the living room where I am sitting with my sister - "DID THEY DO A STOMACH ULTRASOUND OR A VAGINAL" "MOM" I say exasperately which is enough for her to pretend to talk to herself and be like "what oh - because he's here oh" which was a factor but mostly because I gave her all the information she needed to know why she constantly has to press these issues I don't know. Half hour later dad is gone but tori is still there and she starts asking even more personal questions and repeating stuff I already told her. At which point I say - you don't need to know. SHE FLIPS OUT saying that I am so selfish and that its just becvause she cares about me and that I have no problem asking her to cosign loans (which is her favorite thing to hold against me nowadays) While she is yelling this I am practically laughing - I just shake my head and tell her she is such a hypocrite and repeat back her mantra of not being overbearing and she doesn't allow me to finish and just keeps repeating the same things getting louder and louder with my selfishness being her main theme. I am still shaking my head and totally calm about the situation until she directly starts to insult me - insults that I am not going to repeat here because they hurt a lot - but she said them intentially attacking me - at which point I snapped and flipped out reminding her that it was in fact her selfishness that caused her to ignore my comfort when talking about certain things and blatantly discussing them infront of other people (not to mention disucssing them with outside family members) and that I did answer he medical questions the first time she asked and that she can ask them over and over again but the answers don't change and she already knows everything. It's like she asks about the stuff that doesn't really matter in regards to the diagnosis just to make me feel uncomfortable - no - more to prove that she is super comfortable with talking about it. gah. I would so be at the mems right now if I were in florida. Tomorrow I need to clean and pack and possibly visit with kelsey - friday I call and get my test results and possible medication and then am going back home finally. Once home I am going to try to find a job at borders or something and just keep it through the summer - I already told my parents in all seriousness before this fight happened that I probably wasn't coming home this summer - there's no point. Although I will miss Tori and Summi.
On another depressing note - although the patriots had an awesome record and won their game last weekend - becuase baltimore and miami won they don't get into the playoffs. The NFL is broken up kind of retardedly at the moment - all the great teams arein the AFC East - so four teams with lower records than the patriots are in the playoff because of their divison's spot holdings. three other teams share the patriots record and are in the playoffs - dumb. What's REALLY SAD is that if miami had lost - patriots would have been the AFC champions - that the difference between a championship and elimination is in the hands of a game you are not even in is retarded.
anyway - long story short - florida ho!