(no subject)

Dec 21, 2005 16:14


i just want to disappear and forget everything about everything. i dont want to ever listen to anyone again. i dont want to think again. i dont want to walk again. i dont want to talk again. i dont want to let anyone in. i dont want to pretend again. i dont want to feel again. i dont want friends. i dont want emotion. i dont want to give myself away. i dont want to hate again. i dont want to implode again. i dont want you to remember anything about me. i dont want to exist. i dont want to have fun. i dont want to laugh. i dont want anything anymore. i never knew trying to give everything was not enough. i dont want to hold anyones hand. i dont want to kiss anyone. i dont want any more hugs. i dont want to listen to music. i dont want to write anymore. i dont want release. i dont want depression. i dont want drama. i dont want to believe. i dont want to assume. i dont want confusion. i dont want anyone. i dont want to get lied to again. i dont want to feel used again. i dont want to dream. ever. cuz go ahead give me a fucking reason to. go ahead say im dramatic. I DONT CARE. cuz i dont want to care anymore.

thats my list of things i dont want to do but will end up doing anyways cuz for some reason my head thinks everything will end up ok. my head needs to be shot cuz its killing my heart. why?

real friends dont lie to their friends. real friends dont hide shit from each other. fucking be honest with me of ill leave cuz i can make u unimportant to me. no more of your shit. im not going to take it. im not gunna lose for anyone else ever again. i told you everything ive ever thought about you and i was honest. i was completely honest. now give me something back. quit taking.
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